Frogspawn Swamp I worked hard all my lifetime

Thread names from the song  "Mercedes Benz" written by Janis Joplin, Bob Neuwirth and Michael McClure. @Towhee

Dwin would not have even considered turning westwards, had it not been for the very loud frog chorus coming from a swamp. At first she had thought it was just nearby the plains she had been spending time, resting and hunting. But then it turned out that the collective mating song of thousands of horny frog-men could reach unimaginable decibels and travel very far from the source. 

The swamp greeted her with stuffy air, saturated with moisture from the stagnant water. Dwin leaned down to have a sniff at it, scrunched her muzzle in disgust and retreated. Further away puffs and fluffs of green algae interspersed with slimy islands of frog-spawn. For the most part the young Blackthorn was not very picky, when it came to drinking from suspicious sources. But something about the combination of potential food-poisoning and the fact of, where those eggs had come from, made her consider her options. 

She decided then to enjoy the music of the frogs and search for a more suitable watersource in the meanwhile. 

She fell asleep thinking of her rainy swim with @Rodyn, then dreamed of @Maxim for the first time in many months. He was trying to explain where he’d gone and why but Towhee couldn’t read his lips. He was signing but in some other language, not Ptero. It was a very absurd and frustrating dream, putting her in a weird funk that persisted as she stepped out of The Taigh and wandered away toward the borders.

Towhee worked out some of the negative emotions via a patrol. The day was still young when she hit her starting point near Meerkat’s Bourie, so she paused to ponder a moment before striding toward the neighboring swamp. She couldn’t hear the frogs’ siren songs, though once she began wading through the boggy terrain, she heavily considered trapping a frog or two to take home to her grandchildren.

She spotted a different critter altogether, a familiar and welcome sight. Forgetting all about their last, brief exchange, her mind immediately went to the one prior to that. It was just as malodorous here, albeit in an entirely different way. Come to think of it, this was just the sort of place where a coven of witches might meet to cackle and cast spells.

Hags assemble! she bellowed into the muggy air, redolent of amorous amphibians.

Dwin snapped around, when she heard the familiar coarse voice behind her. "YOU!" she yelled back, tail wagging wildly behind her and her thumping the ground with her forepaws in the excitement of seeing the old hag in person. So much time had passed that she had entirely forgotten their last rather unfriendly encounter. The only regret was that she had been unable to introduce Sylvie to a proper witch, when they had been journeying the coast earlier that year. But just as good hunters never reveal their best hunting grounds, so do old hags never truly tell the other hag, where they dwell. After all only regular people made the mistake of inviting a hag in their home without realizing the consequences. Two hags in one dwelling... that was as good as nuclear annihilation. 

"How have you been, you moth-eaten bombazine?" she asked, when they were within a distance, where they could communicate without shouting. Though - she noted - for some reason her friend was always loud. "Throwing curses around? Is this pond full of your unfortunate late husbands?" she asked, beckoning to the frogs nearby, who, as on command, jumped from the tree root they had been sitting on right in the water and swam away quickly. 

Maybe their friendship was both odd and serendipitous, though Towhee eyed the hearty swing of Ceridwen’s tail and could only think, Same. She was delighted to see the younger she-wolf, and as ever entertained by her saucy commentary.

The mention of late husbands made her think of her dream and, for an instant, a sort of huh! expression floated across her face. Then Towhee’s cheeky little grin returned as she closed the space, stepping on something on the way. She looked down halfway expecting to see a frog, though it just a rotten, slippery leaf.

Maybe that’s why at least one of them was haunting my dreams last night, she replied, pressing a tongue ponderously into her cheek. I’m actually here to gather ingredients for a spell, of course: eye of newt, ear of bat, tongue of toad, that sort of thing. You know. She waved a paw. What’ve you been up to, novitiate?

"Just one? I hear thousands," Dwin feigned surprise and cast a glance around. The sound of the frog concerto was so loud and overwhelming, she was sure that there was at least - gazillion? - around them. "Guess, this is a place, where all hags dump their unfaithful, wayward husbands that they have grown bored of," she remarked, thinking of Circe and her knack of turning men into pigs. Now she wondered, had the story ever mentioned, what she did with them afterwards? Her mind went even further than that - if she ate a man-turned-into-pig for dinner, would it still count as cannibalism?

"Well, with a year-long delay I am finally on my soul-searching, life-changing, very educational and important journey around the wilds," she explained in a solemn voice, but soon that oh-so-serious look gave way to a cheerful grin. "So far, I met a fairy-princess and a boy that I threatened to turn into a stick for kids to play with," she told. "And, what do you plan to do with that potion of yours? I don't think you need anything to stay young for eternity. You look just as awful now as you did in your youth - so no need to spoil the effect," she said cheekily. "Otherwise the hag-clan might start rumours that you want to fairy-up yourself and that might damage your reputation in this leg of the woods," she finished. 

Hearing about Dwin’s adventures made Towhee suddenly long to start traveling again. The season was ripe for it, though she was still reluctant to uproot from the copse. Anyway, neither her daughter nor Njord had lodged any complaints about her occasional forays, nor did she think they would even if they became more frequent and far-fetched.

She couldn’t afford to dwell on these matters right now, not if she didn’t want to miss any of the many words leaving her young friend’s lips. Once she got past the slight twinge of pining, Towhee’s orange eyes danced in amusement at hearing these 10,000-foot views of Ceridwen’s misadventures.

Oh, why, thank you, she replied to the remarks about her appearance. Fluttering her eyelashes, Towhee added, I’m actually collecting them for my grandchildren. They’re so cute, it hurts me to look at them, so I’m hoping to turn them into salamanders. If I fail to find all the proper ingredients, I at least want to take home a couple of frogs—toads? Is there a difference?—for them.

Insincere though she was about brewing any potions or casting any spells, she was genuinely interested in finding souvenirs for the beloved bairns. She raised her eyebrows and motioned at her companion, her way of asking, Want to join me?

Right after they fell into step, Towhee quite abruptly recalled their immediately previous encounter and blurted, Hey, I’m sorry about the last time I saw you. I had exactly one thing on my mind at the time. If it makes you feel any better, I barely got laid. But I did get pregnant. Just to lose it. Twice. I might’ve nearly died, she shared cavalierly.

"When was the last time?" Dwin tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brow, trying to recall, what their last meeting had been about and could not for the world bring the details back. It was a true shame - here was Towhee, the old hag, who the young wolf was sure had never ever apologized for anything in her life - asking for forgiveness now. She was tempted to tease her about this and mention her own lack of any memories about the incident. But the part about miscarriage sobered her up and her expression turned serious. 

"Well, you did not do anything that would put shame to hag's name," she told her with a soft gaze. She wondered, if she should tell she was sorry for Towhee's loss, but in her mind this old wise bird did not seem as someone, who needed anyone's pity about shit that happened in life. Instead she said: "I am glad that you are okay now and I hope that you will stay that way for years to come. Hags are a rare breed in this world and each and every one of them are unique. A loss of one is felt by all," she smiled at her.

Of course, besides Towhee Dwin had yet to meet another hag, but here - in the swamp, among the chorus of love-crazed frogs it was so easy to imagine that there was a network of them in the world. Salt of the Earth. Keeping world in the balance by adding some pepper here and pinch of sugar there. "You have still generations of kids to scare into obedience. So - don't you go anywhere, promise?" she leaned slightly to bump her shoulder against Towhee's in a friendly and affectionate manner.

She took Ceridwen’s forgetfulness as a ploy designed to let her off the hook. The corner of her mouth lifted, glad her sin of rude randiness wouldn’t be held against her. Towhee was a little touched by the soft expression the younger witch wore as she offered well wishes in place of condolences, then urged Towhee not to go anywhere.

I plan to be around for a long time to come, she concurred, although when that day comes—since it comes for us all—it would tickle me if you were to steal one of my teeth or toe bones or something, and carry it with you somehow, Towhee mused, snickering at the thought.

She laughed a little harder at the appalled look on Meerkat’s face should a young stranger demand she be allowed to dismember her dead mother’s body. It probably couldn’t happen for all sorts of logistical reasons, though Towhee decided right then and there she should sit down both her older daughters and let them know if she had any real preferences for her remains.

Blinking away that morbid thought, Towhee said, I’m definitely okay now. How about you? It sounds like you’ve kept busy adventuring. Tell me more about that. And what’s next on your agenda?

There was a weeping willow tree ahead, growing out of a small mound of grass-covered earth. Wordlessly, Towhee pointed at it, then gave her companion a questioning look. Would she like to park beneath it for a bit while they caught up?

"Don't worry - I will come for your corpse, wear your skin as a cape and your bones and teeth as necklace. And... I will speak to your skull and summon you on full-moon nights," Dwin shot Towhee a devilish grin and from her tone alone it was not clear, whether she was joking or not. The swamp probably had some sort of magical aura about it, because for a moment there the idea of desecrating the old hag's grave was not a tabu, but a "mhm... why not? For the fun of it?"

"Adventuring? Yeah... well, no, not really. I enjoyed a long, boring and peaceful winter, because the kids had all grown up and either left the pack or knew to leave me alone," Dwin summed up her life during the bleak, cold and sunless months, where one day had been like the other and it had felt as if that season was never ever going to end. "And I happened to leave just before being roped in another summer of baby-sitting and suffering from sharp teeth and bad manners," she continued. She did not know, if anyone in Brecheliant was planning to have kids (and she did not know that Dee had been pregnant), but she would rather find out and congratulate them later in the year. 

"Kids are simply not my thing," she finished. "I admire you and my mom and any woman, who goes into this willingly, but I never ever want this for myself," she told. "And... don't tell me that I will change my mind one day or that I will meet the one and whatnot," she said half-jokingly, but there was an underlying plea not to play the "I am older and I know better" card. 

Hey, if memory serves, Towhee said, I was the one who told you there’s so much more to life than getting hitched—and having kids too, for that matter. You’ve been pretty consistent in your distaste for them, so I definitely respect your take. You know yourself best.

She took a moment to entertain herself with the mental images Ceridwen had painted of her postmortem. Maybe it was morbid to take pleasure in said imagery, though as Towhee grew older, she didn’t balk at the thought of dying. Everyone did it, right? She didn’t think she’d ever really feared it, though she’d resisted it just like any good warrior mother. She wasn’t ready to embrace it wholesale just yet, but how much longer did she want to stay on this spinning carousel, anyway?

Do you consider yourself close to anyone? Towhee found herself asking, apropos of nothing. I travel a lot too but I have ties seemingly everywhere I go. It sounds nice, in theory, not having so many strings attached. But do you ever get lonely?

"Well, yes. I am close to my mom and dad. I love my sister Dee very much. She is the one in the family, who has made all the right choices in her life and in many ways she is personification of my conscience. Were it not for her, I would be a lot nastier and unlikeable person than I am now," Dwin explained and then burst out laughing. Because Towhee may get an impression that this was not the worst of Dwin she had seen. 

"Lonely? Sometimes. It is part of the deal, but then I have so much to do in my own company. And... part of the reasons to go out in the world is to meet new people, create those connections. After all you probably also started small and collected friends over matter of year, didn't you?" she asked. 

What are these right choices you’re referring to? What’s right for one person may be wrong for another, Towhee posited, and it’s better to be hated for who you are than loved for what you’re not. She shrugged. You seem to know yourself pretty well and you’re true to yourself too. I think that makes you very likeable, even if you don’t fit the mold, she concluded with another shrug.

She took a few moments to ponder Ceridwen’s words on being alone versus being lonely. Along with not having too many strings attached, it sounded like her young companion didn’t have much to lose. Towhee sort of envied her that too. Yes, Towhee had built quite the network over the years—much of it from her own loins—but a majority of them were dead and gone, each taking a little piece of her with them.

Have you lost anyone close to you? Towhee wondered next, immediately pinning on another question: What do you think happens to us when we die?

"Well, getting married, settling down, having kids - those right choices that everyone make," Dwin explained, confused by the question, because in her eyes the old hag here had also made the right choices, even if they had not always led to the fairy-tale-like happily-ever-after. "Just the other day - or month, I do not remember - I met a lass, who was very convinced of her path in life. This right path and I could not convince her otherwise. Which... I dunno, I am probably a freak, but I do not mind," she smiled. 

"No. Well - there have been deaths in the pack, but those people were close to others, not me. So - I guess - the experience is not the same," she replied. "I fear though that I might be away and my dad could pass away. He is very old now," she shared. "As much as I want to believe that he will live forever, I have seen death claim far younger people with ease," she added. 

I guess a lot of people make those particular choices, though that doesn’t mean anything, Towhee acknowledged, other than that they’re popular. She shrugged yet again. We all have to decide what’s best for us. And don’t let anyone convince you otherwise if you’ve made up your mind.

Ceridwen had yet to lose anyone particularly close to her. Towhee didn’t envy her that first gut punch. She sipped in a breath when she mentioned her father’s age. She meant Eljay, of course. It was weird to think of him as old, though she supposed he must be. She was a senior now and he was at least a year or two ahead of her.

Your dad’s lived a long life, with some bad but plenty of good too, Towhee mused, a bit of a wistful expression on her face now. But you didn’t answer the second question. What do you think comes after death?

"Does it matter?" Dwin replied with a question of her own, head tilted to the side, looking at Towhee curiously. She had occasionally contemplated her own mortality, but then at her age it seemed so, so far away. She had yet to experience an event that would challenge her perceived invincibility. Death and philosophy around it was for people like Towhee. Those, who were at the end of their earthly journey and were curious about, where it was going to take them next. 

"I don't know really. There might be something and the odds of there being nothing at all are just as high," she shrugged. "So, why waste time thinking about it too much, when it takes away your attention from living right here and now," she concluded. "What about you - where do you wantt o end up after you have passed away?"

Her young counterpart didn’t seem particularly interested in engaging her on the subject. Towhee wondered if she’d dodged the question deliberately. But if she had—and if she didn’t care about the topic—she must’ve decided to humor the old crone. Towhee watched her lips carefully, genuinely very curious about her response.

I like the thought of oblivion, she replied without hesitation when the question was bounced back to her, but sometimes I come across others who believe in various afterlives. It makes me wonder. Maybe it’s a silly waste of time—it probably is—but it’s a pretty fun rabbit hole to jump into from time to time. Especially once you’ve had enough brushes with death, I guess.

She suddenly thought of last night’s dream about Maxim, which made her remember, in turn, her particularly vivid nocturnal escapade with Wraen. What if souls lived on after corporeal death and they really did visit her while she slept? Towhee didn’t believe but she found herself sort of wishing she did. It was a familiar feeling.

I get the feeling you’re not a huge fan of this topic, though, so by all means, let’s move on to something else. Do you have any fun philosophical questions worth pondering?

For the first time in many moments, Towhee actually paid attention to their swampy surroundings, just long enough so surmise there were no amphibians in easy reach. Her orange eyes then tracked back to Dwin’s face, ready to read the curiosities from her lips.

"What other philosophical question can be more interesting than discussing, where will you end up after you die?" Dwin began to laugh at Towhee's attempt to change the topic of the conversation, when in reality there was not really any difference. Didn't all big questions in life lead or were in some way related to death? By admitting one's mortality everything else changed. There were things that began to matter more and then there were such that no longer seemed relevant. 

"Why not try to answer impossible questions... such as..." Dwin furrowed her brow, thinking hard and then finally coming up with a... "What is infinity?"

Ceridwen parried, suggesting they discuss the definition of infinity. Towhee blinked, face scrunching in thought. She wasn’t entirely sure she knew what it meant… though wasn’t that the point of Dwin’s query?

Before she could formulate a response, something moved underfoot. Towhee looked down and saw a snake slithering through the muck. She instinctively leaped backward, only to disturb a second snake, which wriggled away in a similar fashion.

Okay, fuck this, I’m out, Towhee announced unceremoniously, giving Dwin a quick glance before darting back toward the copse.

She kept an eye peeled for snakes as she ran, the fur all along her spine standing in a ridge at the thought of stumbling across another one. It wasn’t until she reached the far side of the swamp that she felt she could breathe a sigh of relief. That was also when she realized she’d essentially skipped out on her homie.

Dwin! she shouted, probably more loudly than necessary. I’m over here!

Hopefully she hadn’t lost her until their next chance encounter. Supposing she rejoined the old crone, Towhee would try to explain her behavior. She’d just spoken of brushes with death, though the worst one she’d ever experienced was that goddamn snakebite a couple years back.

One moment Dwin was talking to Towhee, who she considered to be a bad-tempered, but likeable elder and - yes - there was a hint of superiority in this assesment too. Meaning - she pitied the lass for her old age and the fact that her life was nearing the finish line, while hers had just begun. Then - something happened - and that old, feeble granny darted off like someone had stuck and lit a rocket on her rear. "Wha-?" Dwin managed to exclaim and did not manage to finish, because a handful of mud hit her in the face, silencing her effectively. 

It took a bit of spluttering and wincing and shaking her head to get all of the yucky stuff out, but she managed it finally and after locating the old crone by her loud yelling, she ran quickly in her direction. "What the hell happened?" Dwin asked, wiping any of the remaining mud from her face. 

Towhee stared at Ceridwen’s muddy face as she approached, looking utterly bewildered. She probably sounded it too. The filth made it difficult to read her lips, though it didn’t take much imagination to know what she must be asking.

Snakes, man, Towhee blurted with a shudder. I was bitten once and it was the closest I ever came to dying, which is saying a lot. I’m definitely not keen to repeat the experience anytime soon. And, she went on on the same breath, the only thing I know about infinity is that my loathing for snakes is definitely infinite.

"Good one!" Dwin burst out laughing, when Towhee managed to twist her earlier super-philosophical inquiry by tying in her fear of snakes. Though she had never been bitten herself, she did not harbour any warm feelings towards them either. Something about a creature, who could move without using its legs was very creepy. If she came across one, she went the other way. 

She then proceeded to shake her head and brush away most of the mud from the face. The process, however, was not 100% perfect and she managed to rub some of it in her nostrils, which caused her to sneeze. Not once, not twice, but many times. "All to your good health, I guess," she told the elder, when her nose was done itching. "Alright then - want to continue with philosophy? Is there any fun thing in your life that you could have done, but did not?" she asked. 

Ceridwen scraped the gunk from her face, then cleared the pipes with a series of powerful sneezes. Towhee watched all of this with mild amusement, particularly when the younger woman picked up the conversation without batting a muddy eyelash.

Towhee met the question with a ponderous silence, then a hum to indicate that she was still considering her answer. She liked to think she’d done everything she’d ever wanted to do, or at least that she still might in the years to come. Just because there were fewer ahead than behind didn’t mean her life was over.

I guess the only thing I can think of, she said slowly, is leave the Teekon Wilds. Believe it or not, I used to be a total homebody. I’ve only picked up traveling this last year or so. I enjoy it a lot but I’ve never actually left this place, at least not for long, Towhee mused, thinking of her brief foray to Frosthawks long ago. I have no idea if it would be any fun, nor do I have any plans to do it, but it’s something I’ve never done.

"Then there is at least one thing I have done right in my life," Dwin remarked with a grin, but actually felt surprised about, how different her experience had been. She had wanted to do nothing else but travel, when she had been a kid. But after the first stint had not worked out, she had spent almost a year or so at home. The comfy slippers of a homebody had fit her for a certain period of time. Until she had decided to get back into hiking again. So, she was neither a homebody, nor a traveller, but a mix of both. Kind of, what Towhee was now. 

"Travelling is great and wonderful, but people that matter are probably the most important. At least for me," she shared. "I love being out here, but in part, because I know that at some point I will return home to tell about the experience. Without that... or anyone else... I think I would feel very lost," she said.

Exactly, Towhee said on an exhale. I enjoy traveling in and of itself but I only do it to see my loved ones, since they’re far and wide these days. You come to realize that home isn’t really a place, it’s people. Your people.

At the moment, she was more rooted than usual. Her orange eyes glanced toward the copse as she remembered the task that had brought her here. Towhee wanted to gather some items to bring back for Otter and Skipjack. At the very least, she thought they’d be entertained by a toad, though she pondered whether to bring it back dead or alive.

Hey, I need to head home soon. I’m staying in the copse for now, Towhee told Ceridwen, so feel free to swing by there if you ever find yourself wandering this way again. Until we meet again?

"Until we meet again," Dwin agreed, smiling at her fellow hag and feeling absolutely certain that Death was not going to claim this one before her time. Should it come calling, she could easily imagine Towhee telling it to bugger off. Though deep in her heart she knew that every one had the same odds of meeting the tall old dark gal' and it might be that she was seeing her friend for the last time. All the more reasons to make every such time count. 

"I will go to that edge of the world you never dared to go - and will come back to tell you the story of, what it was like," she promised. And few hours later she made good of that promise. She was going to see, what's "West of Westeros".