Moonsong Glacier Black ice.

Rather than head home after paying a visit to Moonspear, Towhee decided to swing by Moonsong to see @Towhee Jr. Inevitably, she thought of this time last year, when she’d been pregnant with her and @Sable. Even after all this time, her chest still ached when she thought of Maxim, how smitten she’d been with him.

Her thoughts wandered with her feet. It wasn’t the first time she wondered when her heat would come this year—or if it would come at all. Once upon a time, she couldn’t have cared less about who sired her pups. And then, of course, she’d had Maxim’s children two years in a row. She hadn’t been intimate with anyone since him but she hadn’t entirely written off the possibility of more kids.

As she skulked through the dark forest, dodging moonbeams, the thought of letting another man touch her that way suddenly struck her as absurd. Towhee knew she would never take another mate, yet the thought of mating at all suddenly made her insides whither. She’d thought she was done before… but was she really, truly done?

She reached the glacier right after daybreak. Her eyes raised skyward, wondering if she might catch a glimpse of Ghost. She could always call out and hope that someone would tap Jr for her. Or perhaps she just needed to wait. Surely her lookalike performed a dawn patrol.

But it was the panther who patrolled this morning, stalking silently through the woodland foothills of their mountainside home. Not that he needed to be silent. Not that he knew he didn't need to be silent.

When he came up on Towhee, he thought it was Towhee. Then he thought it wasn't Towhee.

Somehow, he was both right and wrong on both counts.

"Towhee?" he asked, bewildered even as logic caught up to him. There was a reason she was called Junior, wasn't there? "Are you here for your daughter?" he asked, clumsily signing along in ptero.

She noticed something pale out of the corner of her eye and turned to see a very large, muscular wolf striding toward her. Towhee immediately checked her posture, her orange eyes flicking to the side only to bounce back to his face in surprise when he not only signed at her but said her name.

Towhee tried to remember if she’d met him. He didn’t seem familiar. But his mention of her daughter made her realize what was going on here. They hadn’t met but he must know Towhee Jr, of course. Who else could have taught him Ptero?

-“Yes,”- she answered him, -“I’m Towhee Sr.”- Referring to herself as “senior” would’ve felt silly once but now it was just sort of depressing. -“And yes, I’m here to see my mini-me.”-

His tail swept back and forth as he took in the similarities, and a faint smile grew on his face as their relation was confirmed. Mini-me, he thought to himself, memorizing the gesture that seemed to go with it.

-"Let's go find her, then,"- he replied, and then he turned to walk alongside her to walk deeper into the territory. He gave one short howl for Junior, his gaze lifted to the sky in search of Ghost — whose name he still did not know by sound. He was excited at the prospect of someone who both spoke and signed. It would make asking certain questions he'd been saving for when he was more fluent much easier. He did, at least, know how to introduce himself: -"I am Dutch. I lead this pack, for now."-

He stole a few glances at Towhee out of the corner of his eye, taking in her scars and the way that she carried herself.

-"I can see now where she got the idea of becoming a warrior,"- he commented. -"She must look up to you."-

He didn’t just speak Ptero, he spoke it fairly well. If there was one way to win over Towhee Redhawk, this was it. She didn’t know anything about this guy except for his name and he was already in her top ten. When he invited her to go looking for Jr and then paid her a compliment, she bumped him into her top eight.

-“How do you know I’m not just a clumsy bitch?”- Towhee countered with a smile she actually couldn’t help. -“I would like to say she does but we’re probably the same height now,”- she deadpanned next.

Surprised by just how quickly her mood had lifted, she moved to fall into step with Dutch. His name was vaguely familiar. Perhaps Jr had mentioned it during their prior conversation. She couldn’t quite recall and she supposed it didn’t matter. But there was one thing she did remember her daughter saying, which begged a question.

-“What happened to Ariadne?”-

ghost alerts her with a familiar nip at her left ear after a circle overhead and landing on his usual perch betwixt her shoulders before taking flight and leading her in the direction of the call.

it would be ghost that towhee and dutch see first. jr shrugs through the underbrush shortly thereafter, shaking off the shadows.

she comes into it as her mother signs the question of ariadne and jr's lips form into a scowl. -she is gone. her and her mate.- signs the silentwarrior, her movements blunt. indicative as to how she is taking the news.

The panther's ears flew back at the coarse language, more out of surprise than offense. He'd never referred to anyone as a bitch before, and it made him uneasy to hear it even in jest. Rather than commenting, he flashed a smile he hoped suggested he had his ways and was, thankfully, rescued from further discomfort by the arrival of Junior.

Her feelings on the matter was crystal clear.

-"They chose to walk a different path,"- he said, added his own two cents. Gone was not what he would have said; he liked the word left for what had come to pass, but he did not have the benefit of youth to pad the words he spoke.

-"I'll leave you two to catch up,"- he told them, taking a step back. He waited to be dismissed, however, before actually turning to go.

Towhee didn’t notice the hawk preceding her daughter’s entrance, though as soon as Jr materialized, her daughter possessed 99% of her attention. The other 1% caught Dutch’s reply to Jr’s allegation, followed by his offer to leave the two of them alone to play catchup.

Unaware that he hoped for a dismissal, Towhee halted and divided her attention more evenly between the two, eyes bouncing back and forth. Ariadne and her mate had left, that much she understood clearly. But Jr was clearly pissed off and Dutch seemed much more casual about it.

-“Okay, it’s kind of strange for a leader to leave their pack. What happened, exactly?”-

they were of a difference of opinion, jr and dutch. he chooses to soften it and she chooses to look at it bluntly; which if why they were standing on opposite sides of it, jr doesn't doubt. she would not begrudge dutch the gentle way in which he spoke about them, even if it sours in her mouth like bad meat.

-i ... we don't know,- jr admits, hating that perhaps the very most. -we went to the bison hunt and they did not return with us. they just left, without word.- jr signs to her mother, assuming that dutch would be on his way, sparing him a glimpse out of the corner of her eye but nothing more.

Dutch gave Towhee Jr the floor, so Towhee went ahead and focused solely on her daughter again. Only after Jr explained and glanced at him did the elder Towhee do the same, only to see the man retreating. She woofed a farewell note to his back, then faced forward.

-Dick move,- she commented, taking the opportunity to sign in silence for once. -I mean, are you guys sure something horrible didn’t happen to them?- she asked, inevitably thinking of Jr’s father. -I guess it’s not likely since it was both of them at once. I’m sorry your leaders left you in the lurch, kiddo, though this Dutch guy seems pretty cool. He’s pretty fluent in Ptero. You must be a good teacher.-

Skipping Dutch per note in Discord!

jr watches her mother's ptero, reading it with a soft frown at her lips. it was true that dutch wasn't a bad guy; and his desire to learn ptero from her had made her feel included. but so had ariadne and now ... —

-i know,- jr signs with a soft sigh. -doesn't change that i agreed to be led by ariadne, not dutch.- she admits, ears flattening against her skull for a moment in thought; in guilt. -moonsong is so new. too new for this to ok.- at least, this is how jr sees it.

skewered as it was by her own beliefs and thoughts; by her bitterness and resentment and the imagined sting of betrayal.

-It’s not okay,- Towhee validated Jr’s feelings, -although…- She paused, trying to think of how to articulate something and inwardly frowning that it needed to be said at all to someone so young. -Wolves come and go,- she signed, which was a little softer than the blunter “people leave” that hissed through her mind. -It's one of the most incontrovertible facts of life, in my experience. And I can’t tell you not to get attached to anybody ever, ‘cause that wouldn’t be any way to live, but I would exercise caution in where you place your loyalty and your trust.-

She reached out to nose at her lookalike’s temple. Jr reminded her so much of herself at that age. She’d had so many feelings about comings and goings earlier in her life. Towhee still had them, though they were definitely tempered by time and a fair amount of resignation.

-I’d tell you to consider coming to Moontide with me but I don’t plan to stay there for good. But there’s other options out there, if you’re not happy here. I bet Meerkat and Njord would love to have you, for instance. Did you know they moved away from Moonspear to start their own village in Sun Mote Copse?-

-i know,- jr signs with a heavy sigh. life wasn't fair, wolves made selfish decisions ( jr herself was no exception ) and sometimes they hurt others. -it seems like such a waste. to build this and just abandon it.- her frown deepens.

she didn't know the first thing about leading, was sure she would never know because her disabilities did not make her a prime candidate for much.

-i didn't,- jr admits, giving a considering tilt of her head. she wasn't opposed to the idea, truth be told. her paws are still for a moment, conveying silence that a speaking wolf would have during a long pause. -what if we made our own pack?!- it was an impulse idea, a spur of the moment; brought on by her own unhappiness currently and the information that her mother didn't intend to stay in moontide.

it was crazy and she wouldn't be heartbroken if her mother steered her away from the idea, but part of jr was curious as to what her mother would say all the same.

Towhee was prepared to tell Jr more about the copse and its role in their family’s history when her daughter signed something she didn’t expect. Her head reared back slightly to convey her surprise, her expression quickly growing contemplative.

-What makes you propose that?- she ventured.

Was her daughter simply letting off steam? Or was this a serious idea she’d considered before? She was young, though Towhee had been about her age when she’d started carving her own niche in the world, which had led to years of leadership. Her lookalike was more independent and worldly than she had been, perhaps more ambitious too.

it's ridiculous! silly! that jr's heart is beating in her chest with giddy excitement at the prospect of building her own place to call home. it would be her biggest challenge yet if it ever came to light beyond this conversation, she considers, but her competitive nature burns with the desire to rise to it.

-well,- jr signs. -you might be leaving moontide and i like dutch but...- her ptero tapers off into a shrug, letting that remain unfinished. -it was spur of the moment,- jr admits. -but the more i think about it, the more it takes root. i mean, why not?-

it wasn't well thought out, she knows. there was no real ideas, at least not yet. her gaze flickers between her mother's face — like looking in a mirror that accurately predicted what she would look like as she grew older — and her mother's paws.

Towhee sensed her daughter’s building excitement. Guilt threaded through her, particularly when Jr repeated her mother’s role in this endeavor. As much as she wanted to support the yearling, she knew she couldn’t hitch her horse to this wagon.

-I think you should absolutely consider the merits of starting your own pack at some point. But I can’t do that with you, Jr, I’m sorry. It’s not in my nature to stay in one place permanently anymore. Besides, it wouldn’t feel right to me to support one of you over the rest.-

That’s why she’d settled in Moontide. None of her children lived there. And, of course, she wasn’t going to stay there forever. Everybody knew that, though thinking about it made Towhee frown. The expression deepened when she looked at her youngest’s face, hoping Jr wouldn’t be entirely deterred.

-i understand,- jr signs, even if she felt a little deflated. it was easy to forget that she had a plethora of siblings and nieces and nephews that towhee couldn't just put that favoritism behind her. she considers things for a moment; a soft sigh pushing past her lips. -i think i've got a lot to learn before i'm ready to lead,- a sign of maturity, to admit it to herself, let alone in ptero.

-maybe i'll see if meerkat and njord'll let me join the copse for a bit. maybe they can even tutor me?- she doesn't expect her mother to have the answer to that: only meerkat and njord could decide that. but jr thinks it's worth at least asking; as well as letting her mother know the plans she had formulating in her mind.

Her daughter didn’t seem to take offense, so Towhee let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. The yearling seemed self-aware enough to recognize she could use more experience before attempting leadership.

-Maybe,- she replied to Jr’s suggestion. -There are many styles of leadership and I’m not sure your older sister’s would necessarily match yours. You could still learn from her and Njord, just like you could learn from anyone in a leadership rank. What about Dutch? He’s not the one you picked but he seems pretty legit. He knows Ptero.-

And that reminded her of a point Towhee wanted to make, even if she agreed Jr had a lot to learn before stepping into any sort of leadership role. She shifted her weight and made a point to catch the younger wolf’s eye.

-Just know that you absolutely can lead a pack one day, if that’s what you want to do. Don’t let anybody—yourself included—put any doubt in your mind about that. I never let my ‘disabilities’ hold me back and you shouldn’t either.-

She hoped Jr knew this already but it always stood to be repeated. Her orange eyes bored into their matching set for a moment before her gaze slid away on a sigh.

-I need to get back to Moontide. And I’m sure you have a patrol to do,- Towhee said. -I think you should give Dutch a chance,- were her parting words before she clapped her daughter on the back, gave her whiskers an affectionate ruffle, then turned to head home back.

jr's paws are still, emulating contemplative silence as she mulls over her mother's words. she had a lot to think about, and it wouldn't all be mapped out in the current moment.

at last, jr offers a nod to communicate she would think about it and then an affectionate, purr like noise when her mother ruffles her fur.

jr and ghost linger until towhee is out of sight before heading into the territory; her mind and heart heavy.