Ouroboros Spine or in the temple of absent gods

@Kukutux pls uwu

There was a cold wind that morning. The elusive scent of Moonglow was at once all around him and hard to trace. Without the visual aid of the spine, he would have been hopelessly lost. But when he drew near a scent separated itself from the rest: @Vairë, who he had met near Ariadne's village. The thought that he might talk to her during this visit made the last leg of the journey feel just a little kinder, but by the time he reached the borders, he only wanted a chance to rest.

He set down his burden and then tipped back his head to sing:

I come in peace from Moonsong. I carry gifts from cloudwoman.

He settled with a paw atop said gifts, tongue lolling as he recovered from the journey.

:D! <3

winter hunting. kukutux made her preparations, eager to join so large a force in a place she had not been. 

she wished the malaise around her to lift, though she would not until she and ariadne spoke once more.

and on this day, the man valiant would find her nursing a back tooth which had at last cracked; she spat it out in two pieces and packed the bleeding crevasse in her gumline with a pinch of goose-down wrapped in a tiny piece of caribou leather.

cloudwoman.

kukutux felt that it fit. she stood slowly, pulling the bandage from her mouth when it had soaked enough of the blood, and went to meet this man.

he was handsome and in his prime; he smelled of moonsong and dutch, and her own girl. heart-pang covered by a close-lipped smile. "this woman welcomes you," she murmured, finding ease in the old, old greeting.

The isbjørn was quick to straighten when his audience arrived, only to duck his head a moment later as he remembered his manners.

"Ma'am," he said in reply, giving a hesitant sweep of his tail. "My name is Valiant Morningside. These gifts are from Ariadne — I wish to present them to Kukutux and Aiolos on her behalf."

He had a feeling, though, that this was one of the two he sought — and that she was the one that Vairë and Dutch had called moonwoman. This meant he had to speak to her on two accounts. First for Ariadne, but also for Dutch, who had extracted from him a promise to seek moonwoman out while he was away.

valiant.

she did not widen her smile, for vain fear of the broken tooth being seen, but her eyes grew inviting and intrigued.

"i am kukutux, moonmother of village moonglow. i know your brother, dutch. he has spoken of you. let me help you to carry these things. we will go up the path, to my ulaq."

a hide which wrapped many things; she would hold one side and valiant the other.

And so it was her — Valiant felt the back of his neck prickle in self-conscious unease. As pleased as he was to meet her, he could not help feeling he had come to her ill-prepared. Dutch had spoken the words with a certain kind of intent — the kind that'd led often in the past to wild goose chases or death-defying adventure. He could not imagine how such a woman could bring him either of those things, and it made him nervous.

"Thanks," he said, polite but artless. He was not incapable of the flowery way of speaking that came so naturally to Dutch, but he reserved it for song and story rather than conversation. In his own flesh, he was stoic until otherwise moved.

While they walked, Valiant with short steps to make up for his long legs, he contemplated that word: ulaq. He had heard it before in conjunction with death, but when they reached it, he could easily see that it was a place of life.

"He asked me to come and see you," he said, peering into the ulaq with guarded curiosity. He would not breech the threshold unless explicitly invited. "While he was gone," he clarified. "I s'pose he meant for me to see if there was anything I could help you with?"

His tone conveyed willingness — eagerness, even! — but there was an undertone of wariness that suggested he wasn't quite convinced of his own words.

Valiant's smile was tired. It twinkled in his eyes rather than in his teeth.

"He's real taken with you," he added, in part as payback for Dutch's treatment of him in front of Ariadne, but mainly because it was an indelible truth.

the ulaq, which had been home to many children and now acted as a rendezvous for vairë's little ones, was placed before a wide circle of well-worn earth, grass fuzzed at its edges. the entrance was large and square, made of stone entire. several wolves would be able to sit within the ulaq comfortably.

drying-racks and hanging furs were kept to the right. a cache had been dug on the left. she and valiant set down ariadne's gift and kukutux turned in time to see one of her grandsons running away with a piece of dried meat from the rack. "go to your mother, monster boy!" she called after him with a laugh.

valiant then, received the full weight of her curious gaze. "you are isbjørn." she moved methodically, gathering dried blackberries and mixing them with elk fat. strips of the animal's meat itself, dried upon the roof of the shelter, were laid alongside fat and berries, all upon a curved piece of birchbark.

"i have a great fondness for your brother. his love for you is very strong, valiant." kukutux pushed the plate before the polite man. "he has sent you here because i am atsak. matchmaker." the jadestone eyes gleamed.

A hearty laugh escaped him as a child zoomed by, clearly practiced at his mischief. His heart squeezed underneath this amusement, but only the shadow of this showed in his eyes when he turned back to moonwoman.

"That's what they call me," he replied with a sheepish splay of his ears. "For how I can weather a snowstorm — not for any kinda bear strength or skill."

His thick pelt was a hindrance, in fact, in the warmer months. And it trapped heat now as his face flushed. A matchmaker — of course she was. He was angry with Dutch at once for putting him in this situation. It was embarrassing to know that Dutch thought he needed help, never mind to hear that he was sharing this opinion with others. But angry or not, his brother held Kukutux in high esteem. He did not want to shame Dutch by behaving rudely.

"I see," he replied, his tone careful until he'd shaken off the brief fit of pique. The tense line of his shoulders relaxed a fraction, and he flashed a wan, almost weary smile. "I shoulda guessed it was somethin' like that," he admitted. "So — what's the verdict? Will I die alone?"

her small worn teeth showed in a grin. "i cannot say this for you. only you know what it is you desire, valiant."

but she had seen how his eyes had followed the child, how the smile on his mouth had not reached his gaze. how his irritation was now clear, despite the fact he was too polite to say his mind upon it. "snow is the way of most in this land. your skills will be needed on the ice mountain."

"tell me of ariadne. is she well?" kukutux inquired, turning to the wrapped hide which the spineman had brought. caribou near and skin, ermine hide besides. she was pleased to see the success of moonsong, even if there was a distance now between she and her daughter.

His smile was easier, then, but still just a little grim. What he read between the lines was not, perhaps, what he was meant to. He was a man who saw most often exactly what he expected to see.

"Desirin' things's never done me much good," he replied, settling nearby to take the weight off his paws. He had more to say than that, perhaps, but those words would not come quickly. His mind was ever churning, but worked in such a way that most thoughts never made it to the surface. He suppressed a dark undercurrent that whispered about all the beloved things he had lost.

With his dusty forepaws crossed in front of him, he watched moonwoman unroll the hide. He could still see where his teeth had left their damp impression, and he could not help another chagrined splay of his ears.

"She seems well," he replied. "Her people are devoted to her. Even a boy from Moontide came to do her bidding. Raiyuk — the son of the man Arjun's gone huntin' with." Try as he might, a thread of worry worked its way into his voice. He shook the feeling away with a twitch of his shoulders. "She's restin' up while she heals, sure enough. Everyone's real happy to help her out in the meantime."

It was like him not to take her day-to-day happiness into account. He didn't have much interaction with her anyway — but he couldn't have told Kukutux what sort of mood she'd been in during their briefing.

a careful man. a man who had lost or feared loss. kukutux felt now that the weariness she sensed in valiant was countered only by a bond with his brother, and she considered again what dutch had told her quietly of his heart and his own desire.

"our hearts desire even when our minds say we must not want such things. to listen only to spirit is to deny mind. to heed only mind is to deny heart. they must work together for your happiness."

the caribou meat was unpacked; she touched the toothmarks left behind but saw that her own teeth had made similar. the hide could be soaked and dried to expand these places once more. humming over the craftwork of the hide itself, she folded the hide and the ermine and set it aside.

"ariadne is already a strong leader. raiyuk's father, chakliux, was once one of us. he married and moved to moonspear. i am glad his son will know the sunshine people, and that we will know the seal hunters. aya! it is like my old home!" kukutux exclaimed softly with a grin.

from the ulaq she took a good elkskin and started to fill it with leaf-wrapped packets of tea. the first was a sachet of summerdried rosehips, to stave off whatever sickness might come with breathing the ice before one was yet accustomed. the second was a crumble of yellow flowers, also dessicated by the sun, to warm the belly and help with consuming colder food.

and the third; perhaps valiant might see her hesitate.

her claws sifted softly through dark red leaves; her jadestone eyes looked back upon the man. "we all have the want to be loved. i was afraid to let aiolos love me," moonmother went on, gathering the last tea into a package wrapped in different leaves.

it was a mixture to replenish during the fire-time the energies lost. taken after, it would support conception and strengthen the womb against loss.

kukutux knew she could not stand against what came next. ariadne would bear kigipigak's children. this was a truth that existed no matter what her traditions said. the ancient world moved in a greater power beyond the wants of an old woman.

"i had lost my home. my village. the whole mountain. i had lost my husband and my son. i believed my daughter also to be dead, and almost did not believe when she came down from moonspear. i was filled with terror to love again."

the elkhide was tightened around these herbs. kukutux set aside the gift and looked now to valiant with a soft expression. "aiolos loved me for both of us through that first year."

He had nothing to say about his heart and mind. Or perhaps it was that he had much to say, but no easy way to express it. His fear had turned to acceptance, and his uncertainty into resignation. He had an idea that there was a woman out there who could change this — but he was embarrassed to admit such a thing to a stranger, moonwoman or not. He had not said as much even to Dutch.

A smile touched his eyes when she spoke of sunshine people and seal hunters. It seemed as though she'd found a place she could love nearly as well — or some measure of peace, at the very least. Valiant liked to meet people who seemed settled and fulfilled. It made him not hopeful, perhaps, but satisfied. It proved that it was possible, and that knowledge often felt like enough.

But this warmth fell slowly away as she spoke of fear and love. He did not enjoy being proselytized to, but this was not the source of his solemnity; he thought that someone called moonwoman had a right to speak on these things, and he was not too proud to listen. Rather, he found it difficult to listen to tales of loss, and to see such things reflected outside of himself. It was a pain that he had boxed up and hidden away as a child, and seeing it in others sometimes made him feel as if someone was riffling through his most personal, private possessions.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he said — and he meant it! But the words rang hollow even to him. What did sorry change? "I'm glad that you had him. And that you were able to build this."

This, the moon villages at large.

"You've touched a lotta lives, seems like," he said.

His tongue felt heavy. Clumsy. He was not sure that he wanted his life touched, except for the part where he wanted it more than anything.

she did not know these things. her long years as anaa gave insight, but only valiant knew his heart.

the tiredness around his eyes was sadness, she felt. a tupilak followed him as they often did to those with strong emotion. she would not say this, knowing that her ways still held many differences, but she would hold it as a thought for the future.

a third small bundle then, this time for the spinebrother himself; tiny white petals sifted with springtime lavender, to relax, to bring soft dreams.

valiant was not ready to marry. 

"i have done this, but their lives will write new stories. i only hope that they carry mine." a pause. "i have chosen a moonwoman to follow me when i am ready to become only grandmother. my daughter, vairë. much experience she has been given in her young years. in her, i see my want that the nuiruk clan builds many, many more things after i have gone."

kukutux noticed that valiant had not yet eaten. perhaps he was not hungry. or perhaps the weight in his eyes dulled his stomach. it was as a mother she glanced to him now. "will you tell me the story of how were first called isbjørn?"

The warmth that came into his eyes was born partially out of relief to speak on lighter topics, and partially out of familiarity. There was something very nice about hearing names he already knew. So often, wolves only seemed to exist while he could see them with his own eyes. Such was the life of a traveler. But he had been close to this place for weeks, now, and Vairë was one of the wolves that'd left an impression on him most positively.

"I met her when she visited Moonsong," he said, his tail sweeping the dirt behind him. "She's a real whip, that one. Ariadne's lucky to have examples like you'n'her."

This was something he could speak on with a little more authority — he'd met a lot of leaders over the years, and while he would never possess the kind of charisma and spiritual perception that Dutch used to such great affect, he had a good instinct for others' capability and leadership potential. Vairë had impressed him with her poise and relatability, and he saw something in her that he thought might be missing in her younger sister.

At moonwoman's question, Valiant gave an embarrassed little huff — but the tired smile remained warm and true in the slight curve of his mouth.

"My aunt, Easy — that's Dutch's momma. They call her the black bear. She's near-on as big as one. When he parents died, she kinna took me on, but we didn't stay nowhere 'til we got to some distant family. I didn't know anyone, but they were all so happy t'see her. Probably they were happy to see me, too, but I was young, y'know? And she was all I had. They must've seen how worried I was, thinkin' she didn't have no need of me anymore. They started callin' me little bear or bear cub — and she weren't my momma. She weren't much more than a girl then, either. But she made it real clear we were a set. So, it stuck. And when I got too big to be little bear, they called me ice bear instead. Isbjørn."

His smile widened, turning more rueful. "Easy'll still call me little bear any chance she gets," he admitted, his tail whisking once more. "Course, she's still bigger'n me. She's like that, though. Vairë made me think of her — clever-like."

once dutch had asked to know the name that kukutux held for valiant.

now moonmother was glad that she had not said it aloud, as a softer light played upon valiant's face and transformed his features into something more comfortable with the route of talk she had chosen.

he had met the moondoe and this pleased kukutux; it meant she needed raise no more hand in that direction. sedna would guide them both. her daughter sought a companion for love and for the lineage of moonglow she would carry.

and her eyes had fallen upon the ice-bear. the duck would watch this.

his story of a blackbear woman reminded kukutux of her first husband's fierce sister, she who had perished upon the mountain with so many of her kin. she had been mother to dutch and had raised valiant as her own bearcub, which explained why their kinship ties would be brother.

the man circled back at the end to vairë, prompting a small knowing curve of mouth from kukutux. "she is very wise, a doe who stands in sunlight and makes the right choice, even if it takes her a long while to know. careful as the one who marked her."

He nodded along through she is very wise and even through the first bit about a doe standing in sunlight. He didn't know what it meant, but it was the poetic sort of thing he expected out of Dutch's mouth, so it seemed natural to hear it, here. But then choices were brought into it, and right and wrong, and wariness, and Valiant tail stilled while he struggled to parse the moonwoman's meaning. Could it be a warning? Perhaps he had spoken with too much familiarity about the doe.

"The mark on her cheek?" he asked, pushing aside his worries. Kukutux was only talking about her daughter; these words had nothing to do with him.  "Was that from a deer?"

"yes. she was gone for a time, and when she returned, the deer brother had chosen her for this." kukutux tapped her own face thoughtfully.

"ask her of this story one day," moonmother suggested, seeing still that valiant did not eat. but now he was focused upon the moondoe, and certainly she could not fault him for this.

Valiant nodded, accepting that he would hear no more of the story from Kukutux. He figured he was close to wearing out his welcome by then, so he finally began to eat what he had been given with a murmured word of thanks. He made quick, not quite polite work of it, having more often than not been forced to eat on the run, and then lifted his rose-gold gaze back to Kukutux.

"Would you like me to take any messages back to Ariadne?" he asked, giving her a chance to debrief and dismiss him.

she kept her expression trained, soft.

controlled.

"tell her that village moonglow welcomes seeing village moonsong at winter hunting."

she would not belabour valiant with talk of love nor make him carry any burden — save for the bundle she had made.

"and give her these things. two are medicines which i have mixed for she and her villagers. one is for her alone."

she trusted ariadne would know which it was.

kukutux took his plate of bark and lay her fourth packet of tea in its place.

"and, for you, valiant. let a small bit rest in water for half of one hour. drink it before you lie down in your sleeping-place. it is not shaman-drink. only herbs for the body."

His family had never meddled much with herbs. Valiant had only ever heard of them being used recreationally or in religious ceremony, and they held a place of vague, half-formed taboo in his mind. He was uneasy for a moment before, visibly, he decided to trust the moonwoman's words.

"Yes ma'am," he replied dutifully, deciding that he was touched by the gesture. A shy smile spoke of how seldomly he had received gifts over the years. "I thank you — that's real kind."

It did make him wonder what sort of impression he'd left on her, that she thought he needed tea to help him sleep at night. The uneasiness returned to him, but he was barely conscious of the worries that took off with his pulse at a run. They raced along a track adjacent to his conscious mind, which was currently absorbed with memorizing the brief message that would be passed along.

"Be well, Miss Moonwoman," he said, fumbling with her title and the requisite honorific. He was relieved to escape, but on the whole, very glad to have met her. He tried to convey as much with a sheepish smile, and made half an attempt to look regretful as he took his leave — that whelp and the slap of his knee, I'll let you get on with your day, and all the polite farewells that must take place shortly after as they all hovered in the entryway, wondering if a hug or a handshake or a wave was called for.

He skipped most of this in his flight, and only afterward realized he had not actually spoken to Aiolos.