Redhawk Caldera Just as I took the world on my shoulders

actually gonna sneak this up during my lunch break

Fennec had offloaded Killdeer again on her mom while she went out to gather some supplies. She enjoyed taking him with her on patrols, but outside was a step too far. He enjoyed spending time with his aunts and uncles anyway and it gave her a little space. Something that could be good and bad. This time was the latter; she hadn't only gone out for that reason, and she still hadn't found a trace. Not being able to kill that hope was probably the worst part. She felt like an idiot.

When she got back, she sensed someone nearby, though she could her the pups playing in the near distance. She could identify who it was almost immediately - @Towhee. Hey mom, she said, the greeting a little curt. He wasn't too much of a shit, was he?

Ever since the incident a bit prior, she'd been trying to keep as close a leash on him as she could. At least until she was sure he could hold his own if anything happened again.

It was her pleasure to look after Killdeer, though it didn't really require much effort on her part. Caracal quickly captured his young nephew's fascination and the boys frolicked off together to play. Towhee did shadow them, though she maintained a distance and routinely swept their collective surroundings with her fiery orange eyes, happy to keep watch.

For a moment, though, she let herself simply gaze at them, a smile on her lips. It fell when a sudden thought hit her. Both boys were missing their father figures. Of course they had a great support system anyway, though Towhee felt a hitch in her chest as she thought about the whereabouts of Bronco, Phox, even Reyes.

Fen's distant approach caught her eye, scattering her thoughts. Towhee glanced between the Regent and the kids, making sure to face Fennec when she came close enough to speak and replying, "I wouldn't know, Caracal hogged him this entire time." She let out a long-suffering sigh, then a snort.

The question had been more rhetorical than genuine, and because she didn't really care about the answer, she didn't respond. She wasn't looking for small talk - just an excuse to leave.

She could hear from where she spoke that Towhee had come to stand in front of her. With a step to the side, Fennec went to brush past. It would have been easier maybe if she'd just left Killdeer to play here, but after a while without him around, she hadn't liked that idea much either.

Fen didn't reply, though Towhee barely noticed. The boys abruptly engaged in a rather intense wrestling match. Although largely unconcerned, the movement caught her attention for a beat or two. When she decided they weren't actually going to kill each other, her eyes shifted back to her grown daughter.

But she was on the move. Assuming she'd simply missed whatever Fen had said, Towhee twisted her neck to say, "Sorry, I didn't catch that. Those nerds distracted me. They're—well, now Killdeer's got Caracal in a headlock," she commentated aloud, before turning again and making sure to fix her eyes on Fennec's face.

She was nearly past when Towhee broke in and Fennec's pelt prickled with annoyance. Some part of her knew that her fuse was unusually short, that it wasn't a bit rational to take that out on her mom. That didn't mean she listened.

I didn't say anything, she responded, stopping in her tracks. Shit, now she was going to have to separate the two of them. And then she'd have to deal with Killdeer complaining about that, and honestly? She didn't have the space for it. Not at all right now.

Just... fuck it. Nevermind. She added, punctuated with an agitated lash of her tail. I'll come back. Avoiding situations like that seemed to be the best course lately anyway - for both of their sakes.

Oh, Towhee thought. She might've read more into it or pressed the matter if not for the boys distracting her. Her son had escaped Killdeer's clutches and was now running right toward her, her grandson hot on his heels.

"Incoming," the Sovereign said, moving broadside to the boys to block Fennec right as the paler woman lashed her tail and said, "Fuck it. Never mind. I'll come back." Towhee did a distracted double take, fielding Caracal and Killdeer and promptly shooing them away.

This wouldn't be the first or even the hundredth time Fen had been inexplicably moody around her. Towhee was pretty used to her daughter's mercurial moods. But the rude exits were a pretty recent development. She felt a stab of annoyance at Fennec's treatment of her, though she quickly remembered that Bronco was gone. Fen might not be raising her son alone, so to speak, but...

"Hey," she called out to Fen's back, "I know I'm deaf but I'm still a pretty good listener, y'know, if you wanna talk about it."

Oh hell no. Fennec spun defensively, stiffening in her mom's general direction. It's fine. As if her tone would let anyone buy that. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?

Like you'd be any help, anyway she added, ears tilting back. It was a barb that was meant to land and she pushed away the guilt. She knew she was right. Her mom wanted to complain about her shitty situation, but at least it had been her own fucking choice. There was no one here with talking to - and nothing worth talking about. Everything about her posture was tense, as though daring her mom to pick the fight she'd dumped at her feet.

Towhee couldn't hear the sharp tone when Fennec insisted, "It's fine." Something told her not to push it, not right now. They needed to talk about this, but another time, when the Regent wasn't intent on behaving so bitchily. The last thing Towhee needed right now was to pick a fight with her own co-leader, who also happened to be her daughter.

The next few words were cutting by design and Towhee stared, wondering what on earth had gotten into Fennec. She was allowed to have bad moods, of course, and she didn't have to talk about them if she didn't want. But why would she attack her mother? What had Towhee done to deserve that?

Nothing, she knew, her eyes squinted. "Right," the Sovereign said simply, resisting the impulse to pick at the wound Fen had just torn in her. She inhaled, exhaled. "Right..." We'll talk about it, later. LATER, she screamed internally.

Seriously, she was just going to take that? It wasn't right. Fennec knew that, deep down, but because Towhee didn't rise to the challenge and let her take this out in a proper fight, she had nothing to do but sit with it and, after a moment, feel that guilty feeling start to squirm.

Great. As if enough wasn't already wrong. Maybe some of it could have been made better by talking, but Fennec had never really worked that way. So instead, backed into a corner of her own making, she left.

this doesn't really resolve things rankwise LOL oops. Ah well

LATER!!!

But the sight of Fen's retreating back prompted Towhee to blurt, "Fen, hang on..."

LATER...!

Whether or not her daughter turned around or stopped, the Sovereign cast a glance at the boys—they were both inspecting what looked like a pile of shit on the ground, cool, great—and then trotted after her Regent.

"Do you really think I can't help? I really want to." She slowed, stopping short just before she caught up to her, in case Fen was intent on ignoring her and walking away.

She didn't want to hang on. She wanted to leave. Like... leave leave. The familiar urge to run had been more intense than ever recently and Killdeer was one of the few things able to prevent her from giving in to that temptation. Sometimes she even caught herself resenting him for that... and it added to it. Anyone else was fair game, but she was trying so hard not to take too much of this out on him.

You can't, okay?! No one can. I didn't fucking chase him off like you, mom. He left. She didn't bother to keep this outburst quiet as she spun around to face Towhee one more time. So what exactly would you do!?

The last part didn't sound like a question, but it was one. She was so angry, and when she wasn't angry, she just felt awful. This was worse than anything; worse than losing Penn, worse than when she'd run off the first time. She couldn't explain it and she refused to try.

She sucked in a steadying breath when Fennec did acknowledge her, turning around to face her. Although her words slashed at Towhee some more, the Sovereign reminded herself to not take them too personally. Clearly, Fennec was lashing out because she was in pain. Sure, it wasn't very fair, though Towhee empathized all the same.

"Whatever you need," she said quickly. If Fen didn't want to talk, what might help instead? Towhee wracked her brain a moment before blurting, "If you need a break, I'll make sure Killer's taken care of." She didn't even know what exactly she meant by that, though as the words hung in the air, she wondered if Fennec might run for the hills for a while. Towhee didn't like that idea, yet she stood by her words. If that's what Fen needed to deal with Bronco's absence, then she would gladly take care of her grandson for as long as Fennec needed.

No. She wouldn't do that to him, and the insinuation she took from it hurt. Like maybe her mom didn't think she was fit to be taking care of him by herself. It was a projection, pure and simple, but it did dissipate her anger in an instant. Instead she just felt hollow.

I'm done. She was going to be fine and so was Killdeer, with or without anyone else. Pick another Regent. I'm taking him home. Now her upset was turned towards Towhee. If her mom thought that Killdeer was going to lose both parents, she was wrong. Maybe he didn't need to spend quite so much time with his grandma after all, if that was the idea she got from it.

She felt a zing of relief when Fennec immediately replied, "No." It was short-lived, though, because she made an entirely unexpected declaration about her position in the leadership. Maybe Towhee should've seen it coming, though she couldn't have possibly anticipated any of this.

She was so caught off guard, she made no reply as Fen moved to collect Killdeer and return to their den. Should've waited until later, her inner voice scolded. All Towhee could do was draw in a breath and tell herself not to take it personally. Surely Fennec didn't mean any of it.

But that was easier said than done, of course. Towhee felt oddly jittery as she motioned for Caracal to come to her. He seemed a little perplexed but he obeyed. The press of his shoulder against hers was soothing, though as she led him toward the rendezvous site, the pain amplified. It reminded her of the rattlesnake; the quick, biting words had hurt but it was the poison in them spreading inside her and truly wreaking havoc.

Unable to see the relief on Towhee's face, Fennec twisted things one more time as she quietly gathered up Killdeer and took him back home, ignoring any arguments he might have posed with oddly resolute calm. Instead of approval, she took the lack of response to be silent judgement and the exact opposite. Sort of a 'wait and see' kind of feeling.

It made her all the more certain that this was the right move to make. It was a stupid title anyway, and it wasn't like she and Ruenna got along. She was better off focusing on her son and on her actual interests. It had been far too long since she'd visited her gardens in the Bramblepoint. She could take him along with her.

Neither of them needed anything else. She'd make sure of it.