Ghost Lion Crag Ride or die.

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She'd been on cloud nine lately, though Sugar's confession over a shared breakfast this morning took some of the wind out of her sails. Towhee wasn't surprised, nor disappointed, but hearing that her younger sister wanted to leave to go to Raven's pack sooner rather than later made her feel some kind of way. She was debating accompanying the girl if she did decide to go—it would be so good to see Raven and the kids—which actually made her think of something else... or, rather, someone else.

"Hey, if anyone asks, I went to visit Hydra," the mercenary told Sugar. "I'll be back soon. We can talk more about this later." She gave the little Blackthorn a searching look and a final, "See you," before turning toward the northern border and beginning the trip toward the crags that separated the Tuktu from the Great Bear.

Especially with all this extra energy, Towhee covered ground quickly and soon found herself where they'd last rendezvoused. She moved further east, toward the cleft in the mountains, before sending up a howl for her adopted sister. She then plunked down in the brittle, dead grass and waited. Her tail swayed. She couldn't wait to tell Hydra about finding Sugar, not to mention Phox's and Fig's prodigal return!

arcturus had made the crags part of his frequent excursions as of late. the view the tall stony mesa offered was impressive, but arcturus was not there for romantic vistas -- he was there because often, he could see if prey was moving in the lowlands below. today the visibility was poor, given the snow coming in from the east -- arcturus had decided to hunker down and wait, to see if the snow passed by or simply swung another direction.

he realized as he waited that he was not alone; he heard a howl cut through the jagged pass -- one that sounded as if it was asking for his sister. narrowing his eyes rather suspiciously (for the voice was female, and what woman outside of the spear had business with his sister? he thought immediately of aurewen, and decided then and there she needed to be told to go home, and that her son was happier with the 'spear. he would not budge on this, he decided.) all of that internal monologue went out of the window when arcturus rounded a corner and saw not pale little wisp, but a tall, lean wolf  in the grass that he instantly got the impression was a hardened ranger. straightening his posture, the beta cleared his throat -- searching for the woman's eyes as if that would reveal who she was and why she wanted counsel with his sister.

While she waited, her tail continued to slither to and fro and her head swiveled, orange eyes routinely scanning for any sign of Hydra's approach. After about twenty minutes of this, Towhee grew especially restless and rose onto her feet, perhaps to pace. But the instant all four legs were beneath her, she froze as a peculiar, telltale scent swamped her nose. She blinked down and saw a smear of blood on the grass where she had been sitting.

Just like that, the mercenary metamorphosed, her higher consciousness slipping away as her basest, most feral instincts rose up and took the proverbial wheel. In that same instant, by some serendipitous stroke of fortune, a would-be suitor appeared. Forgetting all about her plans to rendezvous with Hydra, Towhee quickly sized up this perfect stranger. He resembled her sister (who was biologically his sister), though he was quintessentially male. Secondarily, he appeared healthy and strong.

That was all she required. Towhee made a noise that could only be called a caterwaul and strode toward him, unleashing her best bedroom eyes. Just in case that—and the powerful scent now drenching the cold air of the pass—wasn't enough, she asked quite forwardly, "U want sum fuk?"

arcturus expected the woman, when she saw him, would rise to her feet and offer some sort of greeting passable of being a formality. instead, she rose and came towards him like a crooning mountain goat, giving him a look he had never seen anyone give him before.

he was rooted to the spot - bewildered, first, by that look in her eyes. was she possessed? angry? did she want to kill him? eat him? he braced for impact, feeling the fur along his spine rifle as he thought of all of the above happening to his sister. then came, whatever it was she said -- arcturus was sure she had not just said "you want some fuck?". he was so positive, in fact, and it was so out of context and so something he would never expect to hear, that he just simply pushed it right out of his mind as a possibility.

"what?" he sputtered, ears back as he instinctively made for some space between them. there had to be something in the water, what with the way she was looking.. but then the wind shifted; arcturus barely noticed, except a scent came along with towhee that was entirely new, and terrifying at once.

the same scent he remembered speedy having, last year -- a memory which brought back images of flashing teeth, the proud face of his father, and hydra's belligerently icy blue stare.

He moved in the wrong direction, causing Towhee's ears to sweep backward in confusion. She didn't see his lips move, nor catch the single word he spoke, though she could ready his body language loud and clear. He didn't want this. He didn't want this? Towhee snorted, as if that thought was the absurdest thing that had ever crossed her mind. No one could overpower the powerful compulsions of hormones or deny the spike in libido. It was unnatural and, besides, why would anyone want to do that anyway?

"Do you," she repeated, pinching together enough brain cells to articulate a little more clearly (though her voice would always be a slur), "want to fuck?" If he continued to resist her, no matter how inexplicably, she would turn and go find a more willing dick elsewhere.

okay -- arcturus was clearly out of his element here.

he had been so certain that what he had heard was a miscommunication; so certain, he would have bet the spear on it.. but then the woman spoke again, a little more clearly (arcturus had time to barely register that her voice seemed somewhat clouded), and what she had said was exactly what she had said before.

he blinked rather stupidly, clearly taken aback by both her forwardness and by.. well, the situation as a whole. arcturus was male, so of course he had envisioned his future when it came to bedding women -- but he had never thought it would be the other way around.. that a woman would come to him with a terrifying amount of confidence and ask him if he wanted to fuck..

"uh.." arcturus' ears were so flat to his skull it was like they had disappeared. gulp -- he was trying to answer this as politely as possible.. as he caught a thin vein of something (maybe to do with that snort of incredulity) that suggested his time to answer appropriately was running out. and that scent - that god damn scent - it was clouding everything, and he couldn't think or speak clearly and he was so confused about all of this. "i.. i don't know how." he admitted lamely, his cheeks burning under a ruff of black fur. this was so not how he ever planned admitting to anyone that he was yet to lie with a woman. he felt stupid and so uncomfortable, and a flicker of shame licked along his stomach as he looked guiltily at the woman that was, in this particular instance, far more man than he.

This time, she watched his lips move. She met his words with a slow blink. Did he mean that literally? Towhee licked her lips, shifting her weight impatiently. She had felt energetic for days, though it was nothing compared to how she felt now. She deliberated: would she get what she wanted faster if she tried to show him or if she left him and went in search of a more knowledgeable dick?

She made a snap decision and prowled closer to him, choosing to ignore his discomfited signals. "I do this," she explained, pivoting to present her backside to him. Towhee waved her tail for good measure, showing off the goods and fanning the scent in his face. "Mount. Insert penis in vagina. Hump," she instructed curtly, having trouble again thinking clearly. She yowled again, seemingly unable to help herself, her skin catching on fire with her impatient need.

arcturus watched with somewhat bald horror as towhee stalked over towards him, swung her hind end in his direction, and demonstrated it all -- his eyes couldn't help but pass over her lean hips, her long flank -- he was male, after all.

that scent hit him like a wave; he felt something growl within him, yet for a moment longer most of his good senses prevailed. he didn't move back this time -- and for some reason, he didn't want her to turn away. don't go, his gaze seemed to convey as he wrestled with both of his conflicting natures: the basal one, which was far stronger, sharper, fitter -- and his more stolid nature, which cautioned against anything rash because of moonspear, hydra ....

fuck hydra, arcturus thought with a grunt, his gaze lifting from towhee's backside to her eyes. "don't we have to be.. mates?" he flinched as her yowl rose over the air. (that basal part of him hissed in distaste, for it was likely to draw competitors - something arcturus realized with a bewildered start. how did he know that?!)

She arched her spine, trying to goad him into mounting her, yet still he did nothing. Towhee didn't hear his question, naturally, but she looked over her shoulder and saw his continued hesitation. She couldn't decide whether to glare, roll her eyes or smolder. Why was he putting on the brakes at a moment like this? How was he resisting the irresistible the display right in front of his face?

A thought broke through the feral hum inside her head. "Don't worry," Towhee said in an even stranger voice than usual, "you can't knock me up." She faced forward again, staring off into space for an instant, before snapping out of it and twisting her neck around again. "No strings attached, buddy, so either stick it in or I'll find someone else who will."

arcturus was in such a mental fog, he did not realize that towhee had not heard him. that part of his companion was completely overlooked -- in fact, he thought her next comment (while strange) was in response to his mate inquiry. a look of confusion crossed his features at that answer -- was that not what the end goal was, when you became mates?

he felt his composure and control slipping, especially when she arched her spine before him. this was wholly un-navigated terrain for arcturus - he really did not understand why right now, he was filled with such a compelling urge to grab her, to not let her go. his gaze flickered with alarm as she gave him the ultimatum he wasn't prepared for. "no! don't go." he reached for her, but the movement was stilted -- he felt so stupid, but so hopelessly wanting. "please."

the only problem was, arcturus didn't have the slightest idea what to do next. so he hung between reaching out to her, and holding back -- because he had also been taught, quite harshly too, to respect boundaries.. but this woman seemed to have not even a shred of a boundary to spare, and arcturus was not sure if that was wrong or right.. but he wanted so desparately for it to be right.

She saw him say something out of the corner of her eye and twisted her neck in time to catch the final, "please." Towhee blinked slowly again, not sure what words may have preceded it. If she hadn't been operating on her basest level, she might have paused long enough to parse it out or maybe even inform him of her deafness, though it all seemed like an unimportant waste of time right now.

"Please? Please what? Dude, what," Towhee replied rather inarticulately before abruptly deciding she had no more patience. She grumbled overly loudly and began to stride away, on the hunt for a dick she didn't need to convince.

again, his words seemed to parse out into thin air -- was she not listening? he bit back his confusion, catching the newfound coldness that had slipped into the woman's gaze.

and then she was off, moving -- very much against arcturus' wishes.

he was torn between respecting that, and chasing after her. he was so god-damned confused, he easily could have stood there for the next three years trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened and get nowhere -- but the more primal part of him was already kicking him into gear.

he moved after her, vying now for her attention with a low growl he was unaware she couldn't hear. "wait!" when that elicited no response, he stopped, confused as fuck - did she not want it anymore? should he stop?

his blood was already pumping so hard from this up-and-down stop-and-go enterprise, that he did something very unarcturus-like. he started after her, and this time, aimed a (gentle) nip at her hocks to get her attention. "come back," this time, his voice was not pleading -- it was insistent.

She didn't look back or give him another thought at all, at least not until she felt his teeth score against her hip. This surprised her so completely that Towhee paused and whirled. For the first time in many moments, they were properly face to face again and thus they could communicate effectively. It seemed so unnecessary to worry about communicating at a time like this—was she not signaling clearly enough already?!—but that bite to her buttocks had done things to her.

Towhee's core felt like molten lava as her eyes bored into the stranger's. "I want you to do that again. Bite me," she rumbled, being extra clear despite her muddled thoughts, "while you fuck me." She turned around again, for the last time. Either he would fuck her or he wouldn't. Either way, she would be swiftly moving onto the next one, if history was any indication.

arcturus stopped - froze, even - as his bite earned him the molten stare of the woman before him. when she had spun around, she did it so rapidly a chill entered the beta's stomach. he surely expected teeth.

instead, she asked for him to do it again. what the fuck? he was still so bewildered by all of this, but that scent was so colluding, so overwhelming, that he didn't really care to piece apart the semantics of it. he nodded, dumbly -- admiring the intensity of her eyes, the powerful ripple of her muscles. "your eyes are really pretty." he managed to blurt before she turned around -- he felt stupid for saying that, but it was true -- he hadn't seen many wolves with such magnetizing color before.

now her backside was to him, and arcturus felt a roar of something within compel him to move forward. he was unused to the sensation that came to life beneath him - it was as if things were growing tight, lit with subtle fire. he was stationary for a few moments, still dumbfounded -- but a switch within told him to go forward, so he did.

with stilted steps, at first.

steps that grew more confident the closer he came to her, to the mesmerizing scent that enveloped her. shakily, he nipped at her again -- flinching internally as he expected her to whip around. if she didn't, he'd do something he'd never done before (which was clearly evident by the way he fumbled behind her). with his limbs shaking and a burning need to touch her consuming him, arcturus closed the distance and attempted, rather inexpertly, to crawl atop her.

She barely registered the compliment, though she would probably remember it later and perhaps have a good snicker about it, since she was pretty sure his were the very same color. At the moment, Towhee had a very single track mind and could only process the fact that he was finally mounting her.

Once he was in position, Towhee took the lead, squirming against him until they slotted together and even taking it upon herself to buck against him so he could just stand there and enjoy it, for all she cared. Everything became a fuzzy buzz of pleasure after that. She didn't really blink herself back to a conscious focus until well after they finished and she was finally able to step away from where their pelvises locked together.

Her body hummed pleasantly, Towhee enjoying the post-coital haze immensely. Feeling sated for the moment, she decided against seeking out another lay (from him or otherwise) and instead decided it was time for a nap. Just a quick one, she thought, knowing it was only a matter of time before she tapped back into the flow of implacable sexual energy.

Oozing to the ground as if boneless, she finally thought to peer over at her partner. Did he feel just as sated? Did she care? "I'ma take a nap," she announced overly loudly, smacking her lips quite unattractively. "If you're still here when I wake up, we can go for round two."

so this was what it was like to become a man. arcturus had always dreamed of this moment, from the moment he was first aware he possessed something not everyone did -- and the moment did not disappoint.

for him, anyway. being a novice at this particular endeavor, he probably got far more enjoyment out of it than towhee did.

fast-forward because the author sucks at writing this stuff, arcturus recooperated alongside towhee with a dull haze to his thoughts. did he just? had he just? SCORE!! his stupor lasted as long as the silence did, and then towhee spoke. his ears perked as he blurrily tried to make sense of what she had said.

round two? like, again?

arcturus did not realize this chance meeting would awaken a hunger in him he had not known existed; he would become greedy, relentless, even.. but not for some time. for now he just wanted to drink in everything about towhee, hold her close, not let go.. because he had shared something with her he had never shared with anyone.. and she, this magnificent fucking woman, had let him..

he listed to his side, his gaze tracing her adoringly. she was everything he had wanted in his future woman (and all guilty thoughts of wraen and moriko had completely left him). she was strong like him, more confident than him. she knew what she wanted and she took it, she was beautiful, she was positively amazonian.. hydra would approve of her.

oh shit, hydra.

his eyes opened, the fog in them lifted. what had he done? had he just.. bound himself to a woman? did this mean she was now his mate, that he would have to parade her before moonspear, and take her as his? he was not entirely uncomfortable with this situation, because as far as he could tell, this was a woman that was meant to be moonspearian.. but he was still so out of his element.. "does this mean we are mates?" arcturus found himself blurting, wanting to hook himself around her once more, and never let go.

He had about five seconds before Towhee closed her eyes and became unreachable. In that narrow window, he said something that made her do another one of those slow blinks at him. She flashed back to his initial hesitance, his seeming lack of experience and all the other signs. Her lips parted when she realized, He was a virgin! Well, until five minutes ago. She smirked.

But then her expression went blank as she squinted at him. "Um, no," Towhee said baldly. He was so naive. It had exasperated her at first but now that she'd gotten hers, she found it equal parts charming and hilarious. "Are you really..." But she trailed off and didn't finish that particular thought. "We don't even know one another's names," she pointed out to him, "or the first thing about each other. So here's one thing about me: I don't do love, mates, romance. Nothing personal, it's just not for me."

Already, she could feel the itch growing underneath her skin. But her eyelids were so heavy too. "Look, I really need to recharge. I also don't cuddle strangers but I'll make an exception just this once," Towhee offered through a yawn.

um, no. arcturus' expression visibly sagged - was his 'service' that awful? a growing scarlet shame ringed his cheeks as towhee continued. are you really...? his mortification was clearly visible by the twisted expression he wore: it was like he was trying hard, too hard even, to look nonchalant. the end result was a twisted frowny-smile-pursed-lips expression that spoke clearly of his discomfiture.

and then she said they didn't know their names, and that she didn't do any of the romanticized things arcturus had often dreamed of doing. crestfallen, arcturus blinked slowly and took in the news with a shaky breath. this was the woman that had given him his first blessing -- had restored in him a worldly hunger he had never known he was wanting for.. for her to just, cast it all aside..

"so it meant nothing then?" arcturus didn't like that: he wanted it to mean everything. and it had to him - he would never forget towhee, and many women would be (unkindly) measured to the mountain-warrior that had laid waste to his virginity.

He didn't take her up on her once in a lifetime offer. Instead, he demanded to know if it had all meant nothing. Towhee forced her jaws shut with an audible snap, squinting at him again. Was he serious? She could see, by his uncomfortably crestfallen expression, that he was genuinely upset. Even if her brain hadn't been short circuiting due to hormones, Towhee wasn't sure she was emotionally equipped to deal with this unexpected fallout of their tryst.

"I mean..." she began, having real trouble drumming up any real sympathy, much less empathy. "You were a good lay, if that means anything." Was that any consolation? "But it was just that: a lay." She paused, stifling another yawn. "Believe me, you wouldn't want to be stuck with me anyway." She smirked again, though there was a very subtle touch of something like grief when she remembered how nothing could ever come of their coupling, regardless of what either one of them wanted from it.

arcturus very much would have liked that cuddle -- but his mind was still reeling from what he assumed was a rejection. had he not been enough? was he ugly? did she not think, that they were somehow tied by the fates now? the frown on his features only deepened as he heard what towhee had to say.

was that a thing? just a lay? he thought of his parents, together since time immemorial.. well, except for speedy -- but had she been just a lay to charon? arcturus believed, a bit childishly maybe, that his father had genuinely liked, maybe even loved, speedy. which made everything that had just happened even more confusing. did he love this stranger? he thought the answer might destroy his ideas of romanticism and of love, so he pushed the thought away. the fact was, they had done something together he would never forget -- and he wanted to hold onto that, onto her, forever.

he moved closer, not wanting to lose her. he still wanted that cuddle, emotions aside - he was just so fucking confused. she had come into his life like a tornado, and completely changed the trajectory of his life in one single encounter. was that how life really was? one person could cause a landslide of mini-events thereafter, changing lives for good or for bad? "could it be different?" arcturus tried to close the gap between them, thrilled by the contact of his fur and skin to hers.

When he came closer, begging for things to be different, Towhee felt herself recoil, albeit only inwardly. All she wanted to do was get some, she hadn't signed up for this. But she wasn't entirely heartless, not even with all the pheromones driving her to behave like such an animal, so she bit back a sigh, motioned him closer and consoled herself with the idea that she would get many more, properly no strings attached bonks after this.

"Sorry, no," she said just as frankly. "I don't want a mate, full stop, and..." Did she really want to get into this next bit, with a stranger? They still didn't know each other's names, even if their genitals had gotten quite acquainted. "Look, I can't have kids. And that's part of the deal with mates, right? You raise children together. I can't give you that, even if I wanted to, which," Towhee finished flatly, "I don't."

She almost went for the cuddle, as if to offer comfort if nothing else, and the thought of cajoling him into a few more bangs momentarily appealed. But suddenly Towhee decided all of that was probably a capitally bad idea. She should get the hell out of here before she did any more damage. She was actually relieved they hadn't exchanged names. She had never seen him before and likely wouldn't ever see him again. Towhee chose to continue ignoring his family resemblance.

"I'm gonna go," she announced, pushing up and away from him. "Uh." She should probably say something but what could she say? This was going to be one weird walk of shame. "Take care," she offered artlessly before beginning to stride away quickly. Towhee did think to toss an, "I hope you find what you're looking for!" over her shoulder but she didn't look back to see his reaction to any of it.

arcturus kept ignoring the rational. he was absolutely flabbergasted by this woman. so all she had wanted from him was the meat that swung between his legs? (in hindsight this was painfully obvious to everyone but arcturus - no one said he was the smartest man).

so that was really it. she had hit it, and then quit it.

arcturus had never once, in his life, felt so inviolably disabused.

he stared after her as she pulled away, his shame commingling with a sense of ugly ineptitude. he realized then that towhee was no virtuous amazon, no proud wife to be wedded -- she was a destroyer, a bathsheba -- and he had ruthlessly been twisted by the humors of his own dick.

as if her pushing away from him wasn't painful enough, what she spoke as she left (about him finding whatever it was he was looking for) was a slap in the face that ripped him from post-coitus purgatory, and dumped him into terrestrial hell. what did that even mean?! 'i hope you find what you're looking for!' he didn't even have a comeback for that. his jaw hung slack as towhee completely faded from view, and he was left with his own ill humors for company.

he had expected losing his virginity would be the flourishing, crowing apex of his growing manhood. instead, arcturus felt like a little boy abandoned by the world entire, and an ugly bitterness grew in his heart as the cold closed in.