Stone Circle I'm so used to letting go

Attendance Mandatory. If your character is not there it will be frowned upon by Valette.
(Unless your character was gone from the pack before the attack) Set a few hours after the attack. @Siarut @Kove @Xan @Laurel @Polaris @Leta @Charles @Ikiaq @Taktuq @Selamuit @Kallik @Oryx @Oiseaux

This was not something she had been looking forward too. The last hours had been a blur now she thought back to it. She had instructed @West Tyree to inform everyone. She had started to dig at one of the most recognizable of the stones. @Greyback had helped her move the body, only one body was lacking. That of Kaito. It had been impossible to get Kaito or the unborn pups from her daughter. Everyone that tried was blindly attacked. Valette had given her daughter her wishes and had let her be for now. Knowing it would only make matters worse if she would forcefully take the bodies.

The stone that she had chosen was one that was the gateway into the circle. Most of the stones were just one big stone, but this one, it had two pillars with one on top over them, like a gateway. She wanted her sister to have her own stone. They already had a sister stone and while Nanook had been a great sister, it was not the role she had embodies throughout her life. She had been a traveler, a Pilgrim. One that never settled down. Nanook would get the gateway stone and it would become 'The Pilgrim Stone'. The Matriarch looked up at the stone that was held up and felt a tear run down her cheek. Her sister would be missed, but also remembered for who she was and what she stood for.

Nanook's body had been placed down into the earth before the Pilgrim Stone, still laid open. Valette howled to the members to come to the circle, for the ones that weren't there yet. Once they gathered, Valette started. "We gather here to remember the life of a dear packmate who was not just a family member. She was a sister, a daughter, a mother, an aunt, and a dear friend to us all. She was our fierce protector, together with Kaito, whom we shall bury later. She gave up her life for me, for her children, her mate, for Arlette, and for all of you. She protected us from the cougar that could have taken down many more." Valette's voice trembled a bit but she gathered herself. She had buried so many by now, and that made her better equipped with dealing in these situations. However, from the inside, she was still hurting.

"Nanook had quite the life journey. From an angsty teenager that could not handle the separation of our parents to eventually grow into the fierce wolf, the one she was today. She was not only a traveler by heart, but also experienced the most incredible growth through her life's journey. Hence why I want to give her this stone, this gateway. It will be named the Pilgrim Stone to remember her remarkable life and to take wisdom from her growth. May we all grow as strong and grow as much as she did during her life. From birth, to redemption, to death," her voice echoed. It was a good tribute to her sister. Valette was devasted by her sister's death, by the trauma that happened. But she knew that Nanook wanted her life to be celebrated. She had died with a smile on her face. She had died with love in her heart.

making some assumptions.... please message me if i need to change anything :)

The minutes stretched into hours, and yet Siarut hardly noticed. Eventually, @Valette came to the mouth of his den, uttering a soft word to notify Sia it was time for the funeral. With her, @Greyback's, and @Leta's help Siarut was able to carry the pups to the Stone Circle. He now stood at the foot of her grave, staring at the newly turned dirt. Sela, Kallik, Taktuq, and Ikiaq at his feet, they hadn't been officially introduced to the pack, nor would they for a few more weeks. Aside from the trip over, and the trip back to the den; Siarut kept them close. Pulling them back if they tried to wander, and offering anyone who came close a warning glance.

The widower listened solemnly as Valette spoke. He didn't wail or sob, but remained stoic, even as tears silently fell. The Pilgrim. Siarut could feel his jaw clench, trying to keep his overwhelming emotions at bay. A panic rising in his chest. This was it. She was really gone. Of course he had seen her body. But this made it official. For the first time his eyes lifted to the tips of the stones, and further, gazing longingly at the stars above. She was really gone.

Come on, mother, we have to go, he murmured, knowing that he shouldn't push her but doing so anyway. Charles wasn't entirely sure why he wanted to make sure that nothing bad happened to his mother. Some other days he just wished that something bad did happen to her. But somehow he could never quite push himself to be the one to make the bad things happen to her, and some days -- like this one -- he even wanted her to not get in trouble, even though it would be so easy to just let her lay there.

Not entirely unexpected, after he gently tugged her ear, she turned around in a flash of teeth. Charles shrieked in surprise at the unbridled rage on her face. He instantly dropped to the ground, but it was too late to avoid her anger and blood dropped down the bridge of his nose. Mother didn't usually physically hurt him, but there was something about the sensation that felt like home. Like a part of him that he had been missing. Like Riley, maybe.

Oh, I'm so sorry, baby, she whispered as she pulled him close. Charles liked it when she comforted him, which was why he sometimes did bad things, just so that mother would be angry at him and then she would comfort him after that. He didn't like the anger -- although it was comforting in its own way -- but he knew that usually, the comforting would start. A few drops of blood from the slashes across the bridge of his muzzle dropped onto her fur as she squished him close and whispered soothing words into his ears. Charles closed his eyes and sighed in a moment of contentment.

After that she lay down again and seemed to be continuing with whatever she was doing before. Sleeping, maybe..? Charles watched, blinking, as she lay still for a few seconds. He contemplated pushing her again -- to get her out of trouble, to get her to come, or maybe just so that she'd get angry again, to feel the sting of pain again, to feel her fur press against his, to feel loved even if bit for a split second -- but in the end, he decided against it.

With a sigh Charles made his way to the meeting alone. He pawed at his nose and rubbed some dirt from the ground across the wounds on his nose, because he didn't want to draw attention to them. The coywolf nervously showed up and listened as the words were spoken about the departed. He hadn't known Nanook. He'd known Kaito, remembered hiding behind him for a moment once, at a meeting. But after that they had drifted apart, it felt like, even though he was probably the closest that Charles had ever had resembling a father. Of course, he didn't have much comparison material to go by.

Charles felt out of place in the meeting, and wasn't sure what was expected of him. If he was expected to do or say anything. He looked at the wolves around him, who remained silent, and decided to remain silent, too, as he listened to the honouring of their lost pack mate.

Silently Charles wondered why aunt Indra had never gotten an honouring. He didn't remember it, anyway. Maybe it was because she wasn't a very nice wolf. Not to him, at least. Maybe only really nice wolves got an honouring.

After the incident with Charles, Laurel just bit her teeth closed and shut her eyes firmly. When he was out of her sight she shook lightly, tears finding their way to her eyes even though her eyelids were shut so tightly that it hurt. But somehow they still managed to weasel their way out of there. She'd never lashed at him like that before. Laurel felt even more out of control than before. It was as if her apathy was being replaced with a chunk of anger that she had tucked away a long time ago, when Indra passed away.

The howl was long forgotten by Laurel as she thought about a lot of things. Indra's death, for which very little wolves at all had cared, if any. Just her. It had always been just them. If she died, would anyone even care? Or would she be buried at the stones, made into someone important by the pack's Alphas, only to be forgotten because nobody else even knew her? She was family, but what did that mean? She thought of Xan. She thought of the future. How she didn't even want one. How she needed to get out of here.

How she struck at Charles.

Laurel curled up into a ball and waited as she tried to fight tears without success; though she wasn't sure what she was waiting for.

Oryx had done what she could for Arlette, at least in the meantime...And she was aware that there would be no miracle cure to help her. Her wounds were worrisome, but more concerning yet was the nature of her loss, and the wounds that could not be treated with herbal remedies. She could do what she could to let Arlette rest, and to hopefully sleep without the torment of dreams- but there were no medicines that could staunch the bleeding of her soul. 

She felt compelled to stay near the area, should Arlette request something for pain or sleep- but she would not hover. She knew that there were other wolves that would better aid Arlette in her grief, and assumed that she would not want to have a near-stranger constantly worrying about her. But when called away, she left her new station and roved reluctantly toward the stone circle- drawing closer to it now than she ever had before, and she felt the fur prickle along the back of her neck. She'd noticed the odd shape before- but had never realized that it had been created by three separate stones. There was no way such a thing had come to be naturally, right? There was something in the air, in the closeness; like a pulse of electricity waiting to strike out, that made her nervous. And come to find out, of course, that Nanook's body would be laid to rest beneath the suspended stone...No wonder this place made Oryx feel ill at ease- it was likely haunted. 

She forced herself to be present, though, and did her best to keep her gaze on the ground. She had no words to say- she'd known neither of the wolves who'd given their lives to protect the pack, and she had no words that could console those who had lost them. She couldn't bring herself to look at Siarut...The only figures that she felt might also feel as out of place as her would be Oiseaux, the timid but friendly male she'd met, and another fellow- a somewhat ungainly creature with large ears and strikingly golden eyes- who looked both miserable and uncomfortable too. 

Valette spoke beautifully, despite how difficult it must have been. She was struck particularly about the mention of Nanook having reached redemption- how she'd found a purpose in life...And she felt sad that fate had chosen to take her away so soon, leaving behind a widower and a new litter of puppies. The way Valette described her made Oryx pine for the woman she now wished that she'd been able to meet, and grieve for those who had lost someone they had cherished.

He had heard through the grapevine of the tragedy that afflicted this place. The loss, the grief, and then the gathering of those that needed to mourn. Oiseaux was oblivious to most of it and felt lost throughout the event; he came when called, slinking to those that had gathered and unable to meet their eye.

Oiseaux was not sad because he did not know those that were lost. He looked from person to person with fleeting glances, unable to hold his gaze upon anyone for long except for Valette as he caught some of her words. Then Oryx, because she was the most familiar so far.

The boy had immense empathy for these people because it was right to feel sad for what they had lost and what they experienced, but he could not quite connect to the mournful energy they exuded. He had never lost in the manner they had lost - yes, he was without family, and yes his father had deemed him unworthy, going so far as to banish him. But they were alive. He could go back one day when he was worthy.

Such thoughts filled his mind and rooted him firmly to the dirt beside Oryx. He brushed against her softly - more an accident than anything - and found comfort in that feeling.

The woodland boy had done his job. In all honesty, running around helped distract him from the slaughter he had witnessed, or well...the aftermath of one. He was tired as he made his way back to the circle. It seemed that in his time gathering the pack that his parents had dug a hole beneath one of the great stones. It wasn't new information for their dead to be buried here, but seeing a body go down made the connection ever more real. It felt surreal, like none of this had actually happened, but what a sick dream this would be to imagine on his own.

West stayed near the front of the crowd in case he was needed for anything else. He noticed the absence of his elder sister, surly for good reason but he couldn't help but hope she was alright. The boy paid no mind to the wolves that gathered behind him, he wasn't sure if it would be better to see those who arrived or not. A feeling tugged at his chest as emerald eyes bore into the torn-up ground that now consumed his Aunt. None of this felt real. Perhaps he should be crying as his Uncle had, but he had never really been one to cry. Instead, a deep frown etched into his features as his mother began her tribute. It was fitting, even if he had not known as much about his Aunt as he should have.

Perhaps he could have known her had he arrived sooner. Would he have been able to save her? To save kaito or his pups? Would it secretly have been his own fault that the cougar slipped past their borders? Maybe he should have spent more time with her when she was alive. The woodland boy had only just returned from his trip with Polaris about a week or two ago, that was plenty of time for him to get back to border patrols or reconnect with his family. It couldn't be just his fault though, West knew that. He was not the only wolf to patrol, this had simply been an accident...and to think that such dangers could exist within their own territory.

Ikiaq had not wanted to go out. He'd never seen the outside before, and so soon after mother had disappeared? The little chocolate furred pup had wanted desperately to stay inside the den. There was too much happening outside and he wasn't ready to face it yet. But ready or not, it seemed his father had deigned it time for him to be in the world. 

The youngest Ateneq had cried and struggled and wailed, but it was no use - he was tiny, and if Siarut wanted him to be at the meeting, he was going to be at the meeting. At his mother's funeral, though he wasn't aware of it yet. Where was she, anyway? He needed her right now. 

But she was not there to save him, and so the boy crouched in mute horror at Siarut's paws, puppy blue eyes wide and staring at the ground as his body shook, fur standing on end and tail tucked between his legs. This would go down as one of the worst days of his life for many reasons, and one of the most pivotal, though he had no concept of that yet. 

Tears gathered in his eyes and began dripping from his muzzle. Where was his mother? Where had @Nanook gone?

The moments after moved in a dreamlike blur. Dreamlike, if only because she felt so very numb. 

Death, death, and then even more! What had they done to deserve that? She sniffled as she thought, nothing... nothing at all... Aunt Nanook had only ever been good, and so had Kaito. She remembered Kaito, when they had first met. He had been so kind... and he and Arlette had fallen in love. Mother had not been very happy with the children to be, but she knew mother would never, ever wish what had happened upon them. 

That much had been very clear by her reaction to it all, but also because Leta knew her mother and her good, pure, heart. Leta saw it shine as she watched her mother speak for Aunt Nanook, and she almost leaned against uncle Siarut, feeling a bit woozy as all that had transpired suddenly seemed to take the shape of a heavy weight. She blinked, sadly, and looked to him, he who was none too amused... of course he was not, and Leta tried to sober further... though she was no soldier, and could not ignore the feeling of exhaustion from all of her misery. Still... She vowed that she would be there for him more. And her cousins, too... the girl which sat comfortably next to her fathers foreleg, but close to her own too for her own proximity. She thought back again... Leta had been patrolling that she had missed it all, but if she had been there, maybe it could have been her instead of aunt Nanook...

She knew that would have only made her mother sadder, and she knew she should not think that way. Mother and father would not want it, and neither would aunt Nanook. Be strong, she had heard. She kept around the children with that in mind. Physically, she was able to look it... but mentally, she still felt very fragile. 

A stirring wind brought the scent of Charles to her. She looked over her shoulder with watery eyes, regarding him with a sniffle and a little nod of hello... she felt guilt that she might feel any happiness at all (such as the sort she felt when she saw her friend) when Nanook and Kaito no longer could, and so looked away back toward her mother, gaze cast low.

The grizzled man arrives late to the meeting, his eyes heavy with sorrow and back bound low to the earth. His face and spine have been washed away in the river recently—the fur flattened down and slightly darker than the rest of him, having been attempted to wash away the scent of death that clung so tightly to him after the burial of the Easthollians.

Nanook.
Kaito.
Arlette's stillborns.

He doesn't know if the cougar has been moved, probably not. He'll be carting it out of the territory soon after.

He walks through the crowd in a small gate, passing his children and sparing them nurturing bumps to their crown before glancing to the others with discreet worry. 'They will have to be okay,' he tells himself over and over. Easthollow will have to be okay. They'll try harder, do better. Perhaps then the gods will take mercy upon them once more. Normally they were merciful and just, taking only what the needed to make themselves known—but Greyback hesitantly wondered if they had taken too much. Gone too far.

He steps up to Valette, sitting beside her with a stone gaze strong enough to hold his emotions tightly down. He remains silent for the majority of the meeting.

When the howl arose, his heart sank. Alexander was not a stranger to death—he knew it well, as it worked desperately to claim all those he cared for. In their later years, he was not close to his sister. Truthfully, he found it hard to reconnect with much of his family, the separation and his life leading up to their eventual reunion having weighed far too heavily on his shoulders. And yet… his heart ached for her, for the family Nanook made for herself. He regretted not reaching out to her, not rebuilding bridges when he was still able to do so. Because once upon a time, she was a favourite sister of his, her and Sesi both—but both now were gone, the former forever and the latter… well, he couldn’t say. There was only Desna left now out of his littermates, the only one of his sisters still around.

Absent in mind and numb to the ongoings around him, Xan did not even realise he was staring at the stones until his eyes began to sting—he wondered, too, when it was he even arrived. Had he walked there himself? Shaking his head, the albino hung back and away from those already gathered, wondering—had he never come back into their lives, would Nanook still be around?

Taktuq had gone to Easthollow's meeting willingly. She had not struggled against @Leta's grip, nor had she made a peep when they were in-transit to where the rest of the pack gathered. There were many aspects of the recent events that she did not fully comprehend, but there was a limited list of things she understood. Taktuq knew that she was sad, that Nanook had disappeared, and that the world outside their den intimidated her.

Once they arrived at the memorial, Taktuq emulated the somber spirit of her packmates; as expected (as they were outside the den), something was wrong. Although Nanook's body was unrecognizable from afar, Valette's eulogy provided the necessary context clue to interest Taktuq. The speech was about her mother. She scrutinized the crowd, her interest renewed by the subject matter. But, despite her searching, Nanook was not found; Taktuq needed help finding her mother. 

"M-Ma... M-Mawm?" she asked @Siarut as she glanced up at him.

Many gathered that day in celebration of life, to honour Nanook in death. Admittedly, he was slow to arrive, trapped by the scene that stole her away; he could not keep from staring, from thinking—trapped within his own mind, wondering now how many of his loved ones were lost at the claws a mountain lion. He could not look anywhere but at the body of the beast, even as his daughter was carried away; there were notions that slunk through his mind, impossible things that he wondered… were they truly impossible? For a long time, he stood there, eyes glazed over and body unmoving.

When at last he was able to turn away, his eyes fell on @Arlette and those she guarded; he did not know Kaito well at all, seen only in passing. But his heart went out to his granddaughter, who he dipped his head at solemnly before making the trek to the stones.

Kove was silent as he arrived and throughout the ceremony, an unrecognisable number of emotions swirling beneath the surface. Part of him wished to wipe the cats out entirely, to rid the world of them so that they might never again bring harm to his family. And yet… his sorrow weighed him down, kept him grounded—or, perhaps, kept him sane. The ache in his chest, the hollow feeling in his gut—these things kept him there, kept him from acting recklessly. Because deep down, he knew it would get him nowhere. Nothing would bring his daughter back to them, a mother back to her children.

Nothing could heal that part of them.

Kallik was still very much in shut down mode. He hadn't spoken since what happened with his mother—he hadn't really done much of anything, still too overwhelmed with shock and confusion to really function. So when someone (he wasn't sure who) picked him up and moved him from the den, he just hung there, limp and yielding, waiting for the moments to pass. Ikiaq made a huge fuss about it all, something that would have normally made the little bear gravitate towards his sibling to offer comfort, but he hadn't budged or acknowledged the tantrum. 

As he lay against dad's paw, he rested his head on his own tiny feet and watched on silently. Valette was speaking, most of which he didn't really understand. Kallik's gaze never left the her, though; his puppy blue eyes followed her movements even if his ears didn't pick up much of what she was saying. The energy here was sad, like it had been in the den since mom left, and it made the air feel heavy as he slowly pulled it into his lungs. He heard his sister ask for mom, which only made his chest tighten. Mom was never coming back, that much he knew.