Gilded Bay immulivik ⪤

set for tomorrow evening <3

"three days," she had told to her husband @Aiolos and to @Shikoba.

but for the star hunter's ears alone she had whispered that this was healing for the soul of their sister.

the air was frigid. their breath rose in plumes. she wore inutsuk's good ivory foxfur around her shoulder and she had offered a warm wrap of black rabbitskin to @Sakhmet as well.

once they stopped to hunt and to eat and to sleep. but it was all that was needed.

their going was easy, and they spoke of many surface things until they had come to a place of sharp, tall rocks and lapping, clear water. the sun was not yet down and the moon had not yet risen, but the cold snow stars shone overhead already. moonwoman put her pelt down gently and waded into the icy shallows with a small gasp.

she hummed and shivered, beginning to sluice water over her coat. the dirt of their journey slowly washed away. "i have asked aiolos for a co-wife."

She had not felt a winter so cold before, she did not think.

Then she felt glad that they were beneath Moonglow's banner now. That they had numbers and bodies. That her son might be secondhunter through the worst of the season.

Guilt soon followed, but she tucked in beneath her breast with plenty of other thoughts.

She left the pelt behind. The dark color made her remember a promise to be gifted such a thing once, from a man who scorched her mind. It was unfair and that too would be held close. Unspoken. The harsh chill of the water was a welcomed distraction from the very thought. Putting out the fires in her heart practically.

Co-wife?

Color her confused, and intrigued.

kukutux gave a short nod. "aya. sun man has much status and is in the strong part of his life. he has proven he can protect a village and stand beside its moonwoman. he has raised sons and daughters. he would already have two, maybe three wives. i ask for one."

she smiled but there was a small pang in it. "another woman to share our hearth and its duties. another woman to speak the secret things of wives. in the old land, she would also share the sleeping-place of aiolos and perhaps bring more children to our ulaq. we would suckle them together." she sighed and shut her eyes. "once i had it. a sister. lote. she married a man of moonglow, a fine hunter. but the birth was hard for lote and for her children. the ice hunter turned on them as though he had a bad spirit inside him! a tupilak!"

her breath was harsh. "he left. we brought lote and her children to our home. aiolos became their father. we took the clan-name nuiruk, so that her babies and mine would be full-kin." kukutux glanced toward sakhmet. "aiolos never lay with her. he says his body only loves mine." her smile returned much light to her face. 

"so i do not seek a co-wife to lay with him. only to share company with me. lote and i spoke of many things. secret things. our children said anaa to us both. i told her words only for women who share a hearth, who share a husband. the next year she left our village in peace and went to make a new one close to us. she bore a new child by a new man. and then she was gone." 

water lapped gently at her limbs. the duck gazed out across the endless darkening surface. "i am lonely for her. there is no way to change what was done. i do not seek to replace. only to — have it again. a companion."

moonwoman had said many, many things. now she was silent.

Kukutux spoke a great deal, and Sakhmet stayed silent through it all.

Pensive and thoughtful. A list of lore had been laid before her, and in it stood plenty of things that she did not fully grasp. One of them was how Kukutux had come to trust her so, to lay bare this part of her soul and history. The once Issumatar was not certain that she could do the same, that she would be so powerful as to say these things aloud and not weep. Crumble, cry.

Kukutux had the strength that Sakhmet wished to hold within herself.

A selfish thought after the woman had just exposed all in these words.

She wondered if it was even more selfish to think that there was reason that she had been told.

And you trust me to tell me these things in full. Voice soft, punctuated only by a slight shiver as the water licked at her breast. She did not say outright what she thought and perhaps that was Sakhmet's biggest flaw of all. Unable to speak a full thought. More inclined to keep things close.

Who do you want as companion, Kukutux?

She tried to form a list of names before selfishly thinking her own would be in there.

Shikoba would be a fine option, she figured.

kukutux did not say anything for a long moment.

"you are my kinsman's wife." she did not judge. she did not sorrow. she said only what was true. "but i would choose you and shikoba." but the star hunter too was married.

her lips curved.

aiolos did not want a co-wife in that way. yet sakmet was different.

"you have the wish to be issumatar. i did not think you would want the place of second wife." it seemed such a change. "and shikoba is star hunter. she holds her own power."

Her and Shikoba, the only two names that Sakhmet had been able to pull.

She felt odd to know she had been right. Flattered, maybe. Yet it she was faced with options and decisions. Things to be considered from so many sides!

You told me to think hard upon my wants. She drifted a bit further into the cold touch of the water. As if it might somehow place her back in the taiga, where she had felt as solid as winter ice. Where she had grown a back bone and not been so terribly soft.

Was it terrible to be soft?

I think the truth is, I don't know. Are my wishes wants? Are they what I need? She did not grow harsh upon herself, or in tone even. She only considered these things. Vocalized them away from the village of Moonglow.

There is stability and family with you, with Moonglow. Hunters and circles. Growing boys and girls, futures to watch. Your daughter is engaged! My son is secondhunter. Shows of the growth that both of their children experienced just so freshly. More than she had been able to give as Issumatar. And I do not know if I'll have more next year to watch do the same. I do not know where I will be a year from now. When the world had cycled again through seasons that were kinder than winter — and she feared the harshness of this one already.

I think I have been scared of becoming nothing.

Like her brothers now gone, like a home lost to time and earth.

But settling into life isn't nothing, is it?

now it came sakhmet's time to speak and she said many things. the duck was glad that they had come to this place.

their tongues had loosened as she had said.

and she had discovered a new trust and loyalty toward the wife of her kinsman. 

the fire woman spoke her true fear.

moonwoman nodded.

"giving yourself to your village and your home is a journey. you have been leader. chieftain. it is what your spirit knows. you cling to it but you must walk forward, sakhmet. even if it is not as mother." or wife. "do not think of years, sister. think of days."

Walk forward, but not by years.

By days.

She wished to submerge herself in the ice water until it cloaked her shoulders and kissed her chin. A stewing beast of thought.

I want stability and Moonglow gives that. Her own village could have too! Yet that would have not been a guarantee, it could have never come to fruition. Moonglow was established and a given.

You have told me of co-wife and now I think you know I will think of it.

But her voice was warm and humored, even as she let the cold sink into her.

kukutux too pulled herself deep into the water, pretending she was a seal-wife.

her eyes glimmered. she grinned with deep pleasure. "think of it. and speak with aiolos. not of this. but only to know him. it will help you decide."

and yet she thought of the winterhawk now, and how kivaluk might feel.

She was not committed to the idea.

That was the whole part of thinking on it. Considering it, learning about it. It seemed each time she was alone with Kukutux she did learn.

Is there any other words to share out here? Away from the village.

She gave Kukutux a long, warm look.

the duck sighed, a long deep sound. "sialuk has been gone many moons." her eldest daughter had departed the village to follow a vision.

"i had hoped she would be anaa and follow me as moonwoman. but the years go by. and i am not anânsiak." was she selfish for this?

"i have the fear that all of my daughters will leave moonglow, sakhmet."

Daughters gone.

Here Sakhmet held more trust and love for the pale woman. To expose their hearts to one another in this manner.

She realized even more now why Kukutux may have asked for a co-wife.

You have more daughters than just Sialuk... Her voice was soft, tending to the emotions at hand. I do not think all will leave — and if they do, I feel some will return. Whether by birth of more or by ones wandering home.

She paddled softly to be closer to the pale leader now.

sakhmet soothed her. she nodded gently. "in my thoughts i know this. but in my heart, aya, sister! it is why i do not understand why aiolos would lay only with me. it would bring us more daughters!"

her smile was wry. she suddenly splashed a small wave of coldness toward sakhmet, laughing like a girl, lightened by the other's confident words.

She laughed, warmed by the cold splash from Kukutux.

Sakhmet had never had a sister, but this was it. She felt Kukutux would be the closest thing she could ever have to a sister, a living sibling.

What is it like? Having daughters?

Would it hurt less than sons? Were the boys of Melonii blood somehow doomed from the start?

A sudden solemnness swept over her.

"it is like having small pieces of you that will eventually grow into new versions of a story you do not know how to tell."

the words came to her unbidden.

she thanked the spirits for them. sakhmet did not know if she wanted more children. but it was the mother sedna who decided that for them all.

fade and something new sometime at moonglow? <3

Oh.

She had no clue if that soothed her or terrified her further.

I have a lot still to learn from you. A soft laugh, more at herself than anything else. Yet for now she was content to let them enjoy the sea and the calmer talks of better things.