Ouroboros Spine navgi

Kannoyak's return elicited many different feelings in Ariadne. While she was happy that he'd returned—and even joined Moonglow!—there was happiness, excitement ... and guilt. While she'd felt guilt for some time, it only increased tenfold with the pale hunter's return.

She was aware that she was falling out of love with Kigipigak. She had been since they'd returned to Moonglow. Being around her family again made her realize he didn't fit into her life; they were too different. He was not a Sunshine man, and she was not a Tartok woman. While she was terrified to admit this out loud, Ariadne knew that she had to be honest with herself; her happiness and well-being depended on it.

While she had alluded this to Calloype, she knew that she needed some guidance and sought her anaa. Arriving at the Moonwoman's ulaq, with a fish in her jaws, Ariadne placed it on the ground and peeked inside.

Anaa? Are you there? she asked.

she had sensed it in adrastus, thought it of rhaegal, and now seen it in kigipigak. men who could not hold a sunshine daughter were still drawn to them.

only samani had chosen a first-love in rodyn, and sedna had seen fit to call that daughter back among the dancing lights.

but each moongirl was given her chances, and kukutux waited for ariadne to seek her own.

"i am here, my daughter," she said quietly from the cooler darkness of the ulaq. "come and sit beside me."

She entered the den and sat next to Kukutux. While she would generally speak formalities, word vomit took over, and she went straight to the point.

I … cannot believe I am saying this out loud … but I do not think I love Kigipigak anymore. There! She said it! Anaa, I feel so guilty about it! He does not make me happy anymore—I do not kiss him like he says he misses me—he is not a Sunshine man which I know I need.

But I worry. I worry about tearing our family apart. I fear for the children. What will they do without him? She could feel tears in her eyes and wiped them away. Am I horrible for having these thoughts?

there were many things for which kukutux might never forgive kigipigak, but to know his own wife no longer loved him brought a harsh pang of sympathy for the tartok wolf. "first, you do not need to feel guilt. often before a woman walks away, her heart has already stopped its love."

"if you choose to leave behind the hearth of kigipigak, know that this village is still open to him, as father and as hunter." it was fair, she felt. "many things have happened. you were a girl and you met a man who filled your mind. you knew no other men. you did not have an ugi. now you are a woman, an anaa who has cried much and traveled far. you even became tartok for him, daughter. you gave up your name and your sunshine people for a time. a whole life already you have lived!"

she wiped any lingering tears from the lovely face. "i do not think that kigipigak will stay here if he is not married to you. but also i do not think he will leave his children behind." ariadne then must decide what she would do, involve the village or only tell kigipigak herself.

Although a weight had lifted, her spirit felt incredibly heavy, even with Kukutux's reassurance. I wish it wasn't like this—I don't want it to be! she said, struggling to find the right words. He has been nothing but kind and loyal to me, but it is his ways that have created this rift between us—he didn't even sing for Little Fox! She shut her eyes and shook her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks. It feels like I gave up everything for him, and he is unwilling to do the same for me if I ask him to follow the Sunshine ways. And she did not blame him! He rightfully was allowed to believe whatever he wanted to—she just needed someone whose beliefs aligned with hers.

She nodded as more was elaborated on—his rights as the father—but there was fear in her eyes as she took a deep, steadying breath. I do not want to keep the children from him. They deserve to know him—I'm just ... scared, anaa. I don't know how this will go or even approach it. Her head was spinning.

I am ... so sorry. For everything. For bringing this trouble to Moonglow.

"no, do not be sorry," kukutux sighed. "you came to the place where you felt the warmth of your family's arms. it is the best place for such things to happen."

how curious that ariadne should murmur what stratos had said. then again, they had been born together. now the three birthed at once from her womb those years ago had come together. maybe their minds also had grown keen as one.

"i say yes, this is true. you gave much. i believe that he feels he gave a son. but we all saw he did not sing, that he could not even do this. i know the words in your heart." and her eyes were stern. there was no explaining such a decision away; the winterhawk had made it in full knowing. if he had not come to the ceremony, even this would have been understood as the pain of a grieving man. but to arrive, to be silent, as father to the child-spirit sung upward — aya! what could be said in defense of him then?

"it is a hard choice to make. but do not wait, ariadne. if you are sure there is no love left, then you must tell him. but if you are not truly certain, then hold your words. much has happened. much has been lost. it may be that time together may be what is needed, time from moonglow, where kigipigak does not feel as though he has lost more. a day. two days. speak to him as wife to husband. see then what your heart wishes."

a thought came to her. "if you think of these things, then he does also. remember this, daughter. it may be that your thoughts run together. would this wound your spirit?"

She felt validated; his refusal to sing had been the utmost disrespect he could've shown! She shook her head, crying and fuming, as she wiped away new tears. The least he could have done was sing. He did not sing back when Little Fox passed on, too! So he'd had two chances—aya! The hairs along her back spiked like quills, but she quickly shook them out when she felt them.

It was a hard decision, but she'd mulled it over and could not see herself remaining with him. I do not think any more time alone with him will help, she admitted, drawing a paw to her temple.

Kukutux then added a thought, and Ariadne's throat grew tight. No, it would not wound my spirit! It would make it ... relieved, she admitted. I do not want to hurt him, and if he felt the same way, it'd be easier for everyone involved.

it was done. she saw the resolution in ariadne's face and nodded. "then we must think of the easiest way to do this. kigipigak is proud. if he feels humiliated he will become angry. consider that he may wish for your children to come with him. it is best if they remained in the village until they have seen six moons. they will be safer."

she did not add that neither she nor sun man would allow it to happen, nor the moon packs. a child had died due to the isolation of the tree village and she no longer trusted in his ability to protect them beyond her sight.

"among our people, if a woman wishes to leave a man, she brings her things to the ulaq of her mother and father, even if she does not stay there. it says she has returned home from the hearth of her husband. her life then starts anew from that point."

her green eyes were gentle. "bring the little ones to @Vairë. i will ask @Callyope home for this; she is close. then gather what you have and come home, ariadne. if kigipigak wishes to share words with you, then he must be at this place. and it is good for the children not to see this happen. they must know they are loved by both no matter what path is taken."

Of course, she said, knowing she wouldn't let her children go so easily. They belong with their anaa. And, as far as she was concerned, they always would!

Kukutux then described what Ariadne would need to do to leave Kigipigak. While it seemed simple enough, she had some concerns. What happens if he does not come and share words? Is the marriage just over?

Would I have to go looking for him? Aya—how she was already dreading this!

"no. if you cannot find him, you do not wait. this is what you want, ariadne. it is already done."

to say so was an act of love and faithfulness in what their bond had been. kigipigak deserved that. her daughter would give it.

she held ariadne once more. "i know this is very hard. i see that it is. and yet when it is done, tell me how your spirit feels then."

Having all the necessary information about her separation from her husband, she agreed to her mother's request by saying, I will, anaa. I feel very nervous right now, but I think once it is said and done, I will feel free and light again. 

With a busy agenda ahead, she asked to be excused in order to start arranging things for her move and divorce, and left the den shortly thereafter.