Redhawk Caldera The truth is, I prefer whiskey.

@Towhee 

Not long after her conversation with Eljay, she went out to look for Towhee. It had been almost three months since she had spoken to the current Sovereign of the caldera and she thought that given her brief stay here, she owed an acknowledgement and renewal of an old friendship. Phox had painted the big picture accurately - she knew, what had happened to her former subjects during her absence - but she was also curious to know, what was going on in that aspect of Towhee's life that her brother did not get to see (if there was such, of course).

As she walked through the lands and, trying to find the ruling queen's scent, it occurred to her that had all those years ago her first stop been not at Moonspear, but here - her whole life might have turned out differently. She smiled at Terance's then story about his first encounter with the Redhawk wolves, who had been supposed to be their friends, but turned out to be rock-munching, grumbling grumps. Wraen had never truly found out, who had been that wolf to make such a long-lasting impression.

But then... she thought more - perhaps for some friendships to form you need a certain degree of maturity. And it was very likely that younger Towhee would have not liked younger Wraen at all and vice versa. She stopped at a lake to have a drink, then lifted her muzzle to admire the mountain that the territory had derived its name from.

Although she was glad to reunite with them, it just didn't sit right that Maia and Wraen were crashing at the caldera without any intention to stay there. Towhee felt like a dick for feeling that way but, well, she couldn't really help it, could she? At least she didn't act on it. She didn't even mention it to anyone, not even Phox or Niamh, and felt like she had a good handle on it... until she came across Wraen casually drinking from the caldera and the sight caused a whole rash of various emotions to break out inside her.

Sucking in a deep breath, Towhee tried to focus on her gladness at seeing her friend after such a long time and somewhat uncertain farewells. "Wraen," she said, trying to infuse some warmth into her expression and tone, though of course she couldn't be sure if she succeeded, unable to apprehend either one for herself, "fancy seeing you here..." She forced a laugh that likely didn't sound too convincing, though everything about her next words was genuine as she asked, "I hope you're doing all right?"

The greeting from Towhee was not exactly cordial - either because it had been a while since the two had spoken to each other and there was some natural awkwardness between them. As it happens with previous co-workers, class-mates and college buddies - with some the friendship lasts only as long as they share a common goal or interests. Once it's gone - you have nothing to talk about. Wraen wondered about that, while she observed the Sovereign's expression, which usually told more to her than the tone of her voice. There was no open hostility there, but lack of warmth was perceptible. Compared to, how her last meeting with Phox had gone she felt as if she was in for a difficult conversation. Hacking your way through an iceberg is never easy, mind you. 

"Fancy might not be the right word, but I imagined that in case we happened to meet, it would be under different circumstances," she replied diplomatically, but with more sincerity that she had been met with. "Thank you for letting Maia stay here, while she recovers. I do promise that we won't burden you longer than necessary," she added, knowing that, ever since she was no longer part of the group, she had no rights of utilizing their resources. "I would go in for a hug, but I am afraid that my current condition won't allow it for the fear of sniffling all over you," she said and this was followed by a coughing spell.

Towhee mostly remained mum as Wraen spoke, though she parted her lips to ask, "Your current con—?" Only, Wraen's coughing fit simultaneously cut her off and answered her question. Towhee's brow furrowed, though hopefully it was nothing more than, "Common cold?"

Even if it was just a run-of-the-mill illness, the mention of Maia prompted Towhee to cut right to the chase. "I wish you two—and Arturus—would consider staying here, especially if neither one of you is well. I know, I know," she added before ever giving her companion a chance to answer, "you don't want anything to do with Moonspear and now we're really bumping uglies with them." It was a crass way to state it, yet it got the point across. Towhee huffed a laugh, quickly followed by a sigh, her eyes suddenly plumbing Wraen's.

"I've missed you guys," she said after several beats of staring silence, before finally glancing away as she shared, "and so has Hydra, apparently. She was looking for Arcturus," Towhee continued, swinging her eyes back to Wraen's face, "and not for nefarious purposes. I guess their brother passed away." And, damn, she'd forgotten his name. Her brow scrunched, even as she wondered if Hydra had already caught up with him. Surely Wraen would tell her.

Towhee's suggestion earned a surprised look from Wraen, which then turned to a sneer. Her exchange with Kukutux was now vivid before her eyes again, she felt all the anger and hurt and her friend's "Hydra does not mind" sounded as if she was mocking her in the unkindest way. The part of her missing them three went past her ears, so focussed she was on the recent insults she had received.

"You and I seem to live in parallel universes," she said slowly. "Because just a week ago I was kindly informed that I owed Hydra my life, because she had let me live, when I trespassed, and that the same person would murder me personally, if I ever came close to Moonspear," she said.

"That hardly sounds like an "everything is fine" to me and, frankly speaking, I want to put as much distance between myself and that pack as possible. I do not want to see them or hear them trash all over me again," she finished, her voice low, gaze dead serious.

Her brows raised slowly at Wraen's response. It sounded like someone was going gung ho on Hydra's behalf, which was laughably unnecessary. But before Towhee could even think of responding, Wraen fired a shot at her that left the Sovereign a little bewildered. "Everything is fine?" she mouthed in confusion. When had she said that? And why was Wraen looking at her like that? If looks could kill...

"Um," Towhee said, a little lost for words. Right at the moment, her mind helpfully provided the missing name: Revui. She blinked slowly, still trying to process Wraen's inexplicable reaction before she finally cobbled together a few words. "I never said—look, I get it." She had said that. "I just wish... well, it doesn't matter what I wish. Who threatened you, anyway?"

You would think that after years and years of experience and being that wise and always calm leader Wraen would have a better control over her occasionally firey outbursts, but they still happened. Especially, when the matter cut her deep and she felt like she had to defend herself against the world. She regretted her tone and choice of words almost immediately, because it was not Towhee, who she was angry at. 

"I am sorry, Towhee, I did not mean it to come out like that," she apologized, but felt pretty much the same as the previous winter, when she had bit her friend in the butt. "Kukutux? Apparently she is a friend of Arcturus's. I was looking for Maia and ran into her. And got to hear all about, how I have stolen him from the spear, how I will make an unsuitable mate to him, because - you know - I can't have children. And that he will come back and she will find him a wife," she recounted. 

"She eventually called me Arthur's... plaything that he would get bored of in spring," she cracked a grin at this one. "And I called her a whore. But you know - after hanging around with you and Niamh I could not take crap lying down, could I?" she looked up at her friend. "To clarify things - yes, I did trespass back in spring, when Arcturus wanted to take down Hydra single-handedly - a lot of drama I do not want to get into - and I decided to drag him away from there. And I know that I am not on the Moonspear's welcome list...

But that chick sounded crazy and confident. She babbled something about blood-oath or that I owed my life to Hydra. And that she would kill me, if I came near Moonspear. And they already think they own half the valley, how should I know, where it is safe anymore?" Wraen finished, suddenly looking worn out and tired. "I don't think I deserve being blamed for everything that went wrong with Arcturus and his family. And I really, really do not want to speculate, which Moonspear friend, who has come to greet and meet on the caldera borders, is there to finish me off," she said.

Wraen quickly apologized before launching into a soliloquy that left Towhee's eyeballs aching and wobbling by the end. But she did listen, silently, to every word. It all sounded so dramatic, particularly on this Kukutux's behalf. Sounds like Cuckoo Tux is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, the Sovereign mused even as she more seriously tried to place the name. Wasn't she Fennec's mentor? Towhee's brow scrunched.

Her companion admitted to some shenanigans of her own last spring and the entire thing made Towhee want to roll her eyes. She understood there was some seriously bad blood here, yet it was all so... something. The fact that they were essentially arguing over Arcturus's genitals and where he should put them also didn't escape Towhee's notice. What would Kukutux—hell, what would Hydra—think about the fact that she was holding onto the dude's "V" card? If Wraen had torn her a new one, then they... damn...

"Hey, what's wrong with whores?" was her first remark after Wraen finished. "I feel like there's a lot of tall talk going on here. I mean, who is this Cuckoo lady? Do you think she'd really come after you? But," she continued, fighting another sigh, "if you want peace, it's probably best to keep keeping your distance. Maybe..." Towhee paused, thinking. "Maybe you could go to Frosthawks or, uh, Trifexis? No, Tri...fecta? Tegan's and Bat's pack to the south."

Leave it to Towhee to find a joke in a serious situation. At the question "What's wrong with whores?" Wraen looked up at her friend, totally caught off guard, and then she began to smile. "I did not know that was an honorary title," she quipped. "Shoot, I am so good I do not even know, how to insult people properly. I have sent her off home with a compliment. Oh, man..." she sighed, pretending to feel distraught by this, but then she chuckled. She did need a mini-portable Towhee just to remind her that not all was as dark as it appeared in the beginning. 

"I've no idea. I know that she's from Moonspear, she is or was Arcturus's friend and... that she has a mate there and children too? Seemed to take great pride in that and somehow it did not seem to bother her that... uh... she does not love her man, but it is okay for her... basically a woman to be a womb and nothing else. Something like that," they had been raised under different circumstances. "You know, what is the most ironic thing - she was under impression that I am Arthur's mate. All through that conversation. I kind of challenged her on that - so, why are you here telling this to me, when I am not even standing in her way or in any other girl's way, should they wish to marry my friend?" she said.

"You know - all things considered, friendship with Arthur is by far the most complicated I have had," she concluded and kept to herself a "I hope that it is worth the trouble in the end". "You think that Ostregas are a normal pack, more on the conservative/traditionalist side and so on, but now I have a feeling that there is more chaos within them than what they let on. And they are in dire need of talking to each other more rather than attacking third parties," she said. 

As for the suggestion of going to Frosthawks or Trifexis (which is a brand name for flea and heartworm control and Wraen would not be thrilled that Towhee had sent her to a vet) Wraen shrugged: "I spoke with Maia - she and Eljay are kind of a thing now and... we thought of settling down nearby so that they can work their stuff out. I actually met my niece Ibis a while ago - she and her family were out in the wilds too. Perhaps, we can band together through winter, in order to defend ourselves both from bloody weirdos that attack innocent people and crazy ladies too."

She would officially have to find Eljay after this conversation and ask for painkillers for her headache. But it was worth it, of course, to follow everything Wraen had to say. They hadn't seen one another in months, after all, and though Towhee didn't necessarily align with her friend on every issue, she still valued her. Anything of import to Wraen was also important to the Sovereign.

Her face remained blank through much of it, though she did squint when Wraen described this Kukutux's stance on a woman's worth to a man. Fucking ugh, Towhee thought but did not interrupt. Anyway, she forgot all about this crazy lady when Wraen began talking about Kukutux's misapprehension regarding Arcturus, then Wraen's own complex relationship with him. Towhee pressed her lips together and wondered if he'd ever told Wraen how he really felt about her.

"It just goes to show you that outside appearances are deceiving and every family is fucking crazy," Towhee said astutely. She loved Hydra dearly but she could also acknowledge that she was a little non compos mentis sometimes. Weren't they all? "And," she continued with a breath, "every pack has its real nuts." And Moonspear's might be teaching her daughter about medicine, perhaps other things. Towhee could've been concerned but this was @Fennec. Her daughter was entirely too headstrong, independent and intelligent to let anyone convince her she was some dude's baby factory. Nope, she wasn't worried at all.

Having Wraen confirm the relationship between Eljay and Maia so casually threw Towhee for a loop for a solid twenty seconds. When she rebooted, she played back everything else her friend had said. "Wait, Eljay's leaving?" was the blurted takeaway. A cold, hollow feeling snaked through her, taking her a little by surprise. She'd never really realized, until she was under threat of losing him, how much she actually cared for and valued her older brother, deep down... and how much she'd always taken him for granted.

"Yeah, we are probably no exception to that rule," Wraen liked Towhee's observation and laughed sincerely, thinking about it. If you considered that the world was a mad-house and did not expect anyone to be normal, then it would probably save a lot of unpleasant surprises and disappointments.

"Uh... no? No, no... we... well... I don't think they are that far ahead to become mates and live happily ever after? Not yet, though, if I know my sister well, she has already names for her grandchildren planned out, not to mention all the family gatherings and outings," Wraen joked to ease the tension. She had a suspicion that Eljay was pretty much the same too. 

"I mean - us staying close - means that they have time to figure out, what kind of arrangement will work for them. If it works at all. She is fond of travelling, it is an essential part of, who she is. And Eljay is absolutely miserable, if you even suggest dragging him beyond the safety of his home. They are a good match, but there are many things that they need to work out first, otherwise it will end in a disappointment for both of them," she reasoned. 

"Whatever they decide to do - settle here with you or elsewhere in the end that's their call. I won't interfere and accept, whatever their decision is," she finished.

Wraen corrected her quickly and Towhee trapped the sigh of relief somewhere deep in her chest. She tried to pay attention as her friend regaled her with details of her sister's relationship with Eljay, though she still wrestled with some strange feelings that effectively distracted her. It took her a moment or two to realize she felt kind of jealous, which was really weird. She didn't mind that those two had hooked up—good for them, Eljay in particular—but there was still this sense of... she didn't know what.

Realizing she was not listening well or holding up her side of the conversation, Towhee shot Wraen a sheepish look. "Sorry, I—anyway, you know I'd love for you guys to stay close. But didn't we just agree that it's best to stay as far away from Moonspear as possible?" Her brow furrowed. "Maybe you could go south of here somewhere... or east..." They were in the opposite direction of their allies. If they played it right, they could place the caldera squarely in the middle.

"TRIQUETRA!" also burst out of her a beat later. "That's the name of Bategan's pack," she explained with a dry huff.

"Well, if have caldera between Moonspear and us - I don't see, how harm can come our way," Wraen joked, but it fell a little flat, because at the moment she and Maia had only an idea and no solid basis. "We'll figure something out. My sibling - in fact - suggested that rather than running, we can group together and defend ourselves too. Both from angry mountaineers in the north and murderous bastards roaming around here," she said.

Towhee's exclamation made Wraen jump on the spot and give her friend a strange look. "Is that a real name?" she asked. "What does it mean anyway?"

"No clue," came Towhee's honest answer, her lips pursing as she hummed thoughtfully over what Wraen had said immediately previous to that. "You said you ran into your niece? And isn't Penn with you guys? Hell, that's enough wolves right there to start a pack, once you find someplace safe to settle," she mused. "I mean, nowhere is totally safe but you know what I mean."

She actually really liked this idea now and hoped it came to fruition. The conversation as a whole had effectively quashed Towhee's misgivings about Wraen and Maia staying here. She found herself wondering about Arcturus's whereabouts right now, as well as Penn's. Why weren't they here too? The caldera didn't need four charity cases, yet she couldn't help but wonder.

"Where're Arc and Penn, anyhow? And, uh..." She paused for a considerable amount of time, wondering if i was her business to ask the question on the tip of her tongue. Ultimately, Towhee decided she was too curious for tact. "Did Arcturus ever get around to telling you he's in love with you?"

"Penn is a free spirit. He comes and goes as he pleases," Wraen managed to interject and was about to tell that Arcturus was out there doing the thinking, when Towhee's statement earned a sigh from her. "Well, we came to an agreement that he tells me the important stuff first and not the other way round," she pointed out, wondering, whether she had been so ignorant not to see the obvious or just the same way as with Kukutux, Arthur had been open on this matter to Sovereign first. 

"Uh... well... that whole Cuckoo ordeal actually destroyed it for him. The right moment he had been waiting for, I mean," she summed up. "But it gave me a chance to be very honest with him too - I do not love him. As a friend - yes, as a kindred spirit - yes, but not in a way that leads to mateship and family and whatnot," Wraen said. "But I agreed to try and see, where it goes. I did not promise him a future, but I promised one day at a time," she was no longer looking at Towhee, but staring in the distance. 

"His intensity though scares me a little. He is very certain that I am the one and I fear that it might lead to a great disappointment one day," she added.

So that cat was out of the bag already. Towhee let out a breath and found herself feeling a little surprised to hear Wraen didn't return Arcturus's feelings. She was pretty sure Wraen had actually told her this a time or two in the past, yet Towhee must've dismissed it. She had really believed there was something between the two of them, especially after Wraen had torn her a new one. Of course, there was something, although it sounded rather one-sided and unrequited. Towhee felt kinda bad for the guy.

The whole situation sounded really lopsided and uncomfortable and, not for the first time, Towhee was glad her occasional crushes had never gone anywhere. Romance was so messy. It was totally not her bag. It kinda seemed like it wasn't Wraen's either. She knew the other woman thought she was infertile, just like Towhee had been convinced she could never bear offspring. Idly, she wondered if Wraen was actually right. Had she tested that theory?

Completely unbidden, Towhee thought of her recent conversation with Hydra, where she'd suggested Towhee sleep with Arcturus. With this new information, it didn't seem as far-fetched as before, though the Sovereign didn't dare go there. No, as she'd told Niamh, she was now completely committed to finding some strangers to put babies in her. The only exception she would make was if she somehow ran into @Kaertok again, though what were the odds?

Towhee suddenly realized she'd failed to uphold the conversation again. "Well, I'm glad you two finally talked about it," she said kinda lamely. Sucks to be him, I guess. "I'm with you, as far as romance goes. Well, I guess I'm making assumptions here. Are you just not interested in Arcturus, or...?"

"You know - that romance thing is just the problem. I have been madly in love once. I was a yearling and looking back it was my first crush, but it came with all the myriad of emotions - butterflies in the stomach, giddiness, you just radiate from being in the presence of that person. It all ended in a heartbreak, but having lived through that stage of being in love... it's... I have nothing else to compare it to," Wraen explained. 

"I really think it is unfair that he is betting everything on me and turning a blind eye on the other possibilities in life," she said. "Maybe the reason I am so cautious is that he has no other such experience to compare it with. He is giving up a dream of having a family of his own, which is a very valuable one, but I can't give him that. You know, when the spring sings in the veins of most wolves, I feel no different than usual. I don't lust after anyone. Never have," she shrugged. 

"Then there is a part of me that wants to prove the world wrong and just say - hell, with it. What will be, will be. Not doubt the uncertain future, but believe, what Arthur is telling me now," Wraen said. "It's a mess, really..." 

Wraen didn't feel the same way about romance, which wasn't surprising, the more Towhee actually thought about it. She was such a passionate person, full of charm and fairy tales, so how could she shut herself off to the entire notion of eros? As she spoke of falling in love in the past, and more about her own complicated approach to her relationship with Arcturus, Towhee found herself feeling sorrier and sorrier for him.

"I'm going to preface this by saying it's really none of my business," Towhee said, "but have you considered that it might be better for him if you two actually spent some time apart, so he could get over you and maybe find what he's really looking for? You too?" She exhaled. "I mean, it sounds like both of you are settling and that's... that's some shit," she finished baldly. Her words were blunt, hard, though the look on her face was significantly softer as she regarded her friend.

"I have thought about that too," Wraen agreed with Towhee, but it did not mean that her advice was easy to take on. What was better, was not always the easiest. And had these two had this very conversation before Wraen had spoken to Arcturus, she would have suggested it to him. Doing it now, however, felt like betraying him. "But it is a little too late for that now. I made a promise and backing away from it... would be as if beating someone, who is already lying on the ground," she said. 

"Maybe this pack thing - if it is ever successful will do him more good. I won't be the sole focus of his interest," she said. "Besides... he seems to be genuinely happy, when he is around me, and I can't say that he is the same, when he is on his own. He has been a pack wolf all his life, surrounded by family and I have just dragged him way off his comfort zone," she told, smiling to herself, because quite honestly she was also glad to have him around. 

"And... I enjoy having him around too," so many sighs during a single conversation, but she had sorely missed someone like Towhee to hear her out and offer their perspective on things. "And I wonder, whether it is that fear of disappointing him in the future that very thing, why I do not want to let my heart go. Perhaps, love comes to us in different ways and I may know only one," she finished.

As much as she cared for Wraen, Towhee caught herself thinking some unkind things as the woman defended her relationship with Arcturus. Just like earlier, she kept them to herself. She knew her friend wasn't actually ignorant or selfish. These things were seriously complex and there were no easy answers. That was exactly why Towhee avoided romance altogether. Life was already complicated enough.

"Well, like I said, it's your business," Towhee replied, "and his. I hope you two are able to make it work out, somehow, so you're both happy." And she meant that genuinely. "You guys both deserve that: happiness, I mean." Man, now she was just getting sappy.

Laughing quietly at herself, the Sovereign changed tack slightly and offered, "Anyway, maybe @Chanel could help you guys scout out a place?" She was, of course, oblivious to the woman's recent abandonment. "All the interpersonal and sociopolitical drama aside, it'll be nice to have you in the 'hood," she stated, orange eyes dancing like flames.

"I have missed this terribly too," Wraen agreed and smiled at Towhee too. It was good to feel reassured that she was not on her own in this. That there were people to turn to and that, if all went well, they would be within reach too. 

"Thanks for hearing me out, it does help time from time," she touched her friend's shoulder lightly. "But enough about me, how has life treated you lately? I heard a brief, but detailed recount from Phox few weeks ago, but maybe you too have drama to unload," she teased her, though it did not seem likely that pragmatic Towhee would ever have the same emotional turmoils as she did. 

For a moment she tried to imagine, what would have happened, if Towhee had met Kukutux instead, and the very thought of it made her laugh. Yeah, that would have been an entirely different conversation indeed. "I also met Bronco - twice. That guy seemed to be very happy. Do you know, how Meerkat is doing? He did not say much about her and I somehow forgot to ask too."

Wraen didn't respond directly to the suggestion, instead asking about Towhee's own goings-on, as well as her kid's. She took a moment to ponder on anything newsworthy about herself but came up with very little. There was the move, though obviously they didn't really need to cover that. There was her search for a sperm donor for spring but Towhee decided to keep that to herself too. She was pretty sure Wraen wouldn't slut shame her this time around—a thought which made her lips twitch—but it was really between her, her co-parents and the man (or men...) in question.

"Who, me? I'm drama-free," Towhee joked. "The kids are doing great. I don't know if you know about this but Moonspear expanded into Firefly Glen. Bronco and Meerkat were part of that, so they're living there now. I see her all the time now that the packs are so close. She was just here the other day, actually. She's officially an ambassador. She talked about being a life coach too. I think she's planning a party for the kids in Bramblepoint...? But, yeah, I think they're doing great. And, believe it or not, Meerkat's going to be an adult in a few weeks. Isn't that a mind job?"

"Avoid drama like a plague," Wraen advised, chuckling at Towhee's expression. "I heard about that - sounds as if a bunch of young people got tired of the old ones and moved elsewhere to have a party," she mused, thinking about Bronco and their recent encounter. She was proud that he and the other two Firebirds had achieved so much in short matter of time.

"Is she that old already? Unbelievable!" Wraen exclaimed, remembering the sand-coloured ball of fluff of a baby and having hard time putting that image together with the one, where she was nearly an adult. "And a year later you might become a granny too," she added. "It might come sooner for Niamh though. I would love to see her face, when she learns that she has entered the ranks of very old people," she said and chuckled.

That very thought had crossed her mind before, without any particular connotation. Towhee snorted lightly, making no further comments on the foundation of Firefly Glen. Wraen was waxing poetic about her becoming a grandmother, alongside Niamh. She couldn't say how the blonde Regent felt about that title, though the thought filled the Sovereign with joy.

"I could become a grandma in the spring, via Fig or Fen," she pointed out with a smile. Before Meerkat had come along, this whole concept had been her saving grace. "I don't think either one has romantic prospects at the moment but that doesn't really mean anything. I know better than to make plans for my kids but I love the thought of Fig finding a mate and branching off to form another sister pack. We've even been grooming him for that possibility, a little bit," Towhee shared.

And as for Fennec, well, she totally believed her blind daughter could do whatever she wanted, whether that was finding a partner and founding a pack too, or something else altogether. She'd wondered about the possibility of Fennec pairing up with Bronco or, hell, even Penn. But she sensed that Fen was perhaps too independent to tie herself down to someone like that, which was part of why she didn't worry about Kukutux's influence. Towhee tended to avoid speculating about her children anymore, instead sitting back and simply watching as their lives unfolded.

"Well, we both know that having babies sometimes has very little to do with an actual romance," Wraen pointed out to Towhee's own experience in the matter and this made her wonder, whether her friend was up to another round of bang lottery this year. It had not been without drama, especially after two possible Meerkat daddies had lived with Firebirds afterwards. Would the same thing happen this season too? With no leader duties to herd her lustful subordinates around, Wraen felt very inclined to sit down and enjoy the show. 

"Do you know, what is going on at Frosthawks this year? I am sure that Liffey and Rannoch will have another batch of Blackthorns and sadly... after the first one I baby-sat myself, I have lost track of how many there are," she mused about her old friends that had found their joy and purpose in life within familial bliss and making sure that Finley's bloodline never ran dry. "Does Figment himself knows, what you have in store for him?" she asked out of curiousity. "He did not seem to be interested much in leadership from what I recall, but - mind you - that was a long time ago and may not be true," she added.