Sun Mote Copse The thing about kinked tail

@Towhee 

The shoulder Wraen had injured during wintertime had begun to trouble her again, therefore instead of scouting the nearby territories of the pack or checking up on the guardians to see, how they were doing, she had opted to take it easy and have a day off from sovereign duties. With a shin bone of a deer, still surrounded by meaty remains, she kept herself occupied.

And just as a cup of coffee or a particulary amazing piece of cake can inspire us, her storytelling brain gears began to click and turn, while she chewed. The moment a particularly exciting concept of the story hit her, she stopped mid-chew and oblivious to the rest of the world, held on to that marvelous idea, frantically searching for ways to keep it's shine and novelty intact and polished. 

To the rest of the world it appeared, as if someone had cast a "Petrificus totalus" spell on her at the least appropriate moment.

Towhee was torn. On one hand, she found herself wanting to seek our Arcturus and spend more time with him. On the other, she wanted to run far and fast from that notion entirely. So far, she managed to avoid him, even though there was part of her that actually yearned for his presence, which disgusted her. She definitely felt very out of sorts about it. She was like a silly schoolgirl with her very first crush, only pushing forty...

While she tore out her metaphorical hair, she weaved absently through the copse and her meanderings led her to cross paths with the snacking Sovereign. Towhee stopped short, not just because she'd noticed Wraen but because the Firebirds' leader seemed to be caught in a freeze frame. The Regent paused and stared for a few beats before proceeding toward her.

-"Are you buffering, or...?"- she said in way of greeting as she flopped down beside her co-leader with a melodramatic sigh.

Towhee scared Wraen by suddenly materializing besides her. The poor she-wolf snapped out of her freeze, jumped and recoiled from the Regent, staring at her wide-eyed, needing a moment to process all that had just transpired and then another to calm down and give the other a friendly acknowledgement by wagging her tail.

"Hey, Towhee," she replied, getting to her feet and giving her coat a hearty shake, then she leaned over to snatch her snack and settled down on the ground again with it nestled safely between her forepaws. "What's up?"

As her weight settled on the ticklish green grass, Towhee noticed Wraen's start and huffed softly in amusement. The Sovereign recovered quickly, rising onto all fours and snatching her snack before flopping down again. She tossed out a casual query and the Regent sighed slightly.

-"Not a damn thing. I've got a lot on my mind but it's all... garbage."- Okay, missing her daughter wasn't trashy but obsessing over Acturus was. And she really didn't want to dwell on either, it made her feel like garbage. -"You wanna hunt? Spar? Something? Anything? After you finish your snack,"- Towhee tacked on politely.

"Nah, sorry, not my day for any of those things," Wraen replied and motioned to her aching shoulder. "I went overkill few days ago and now my foot is protesting against any strenuous activity," she elaborated on the subject. "I did not think that a stupid fall in a hole during winter would cause such long lasting effects," she said and paused to bite off a piece of meat off the bone. 

"So - you can entertain me with that garbage that's on your mind," she told. "Experience shows that it's the most interesting stuff in the world. And you might feel better after sharing this with me," Wraen said with a devillish grin that implicated that Towhee might not feel better, but her nosey self definitely would.

Wraen immediately declined and, for a split second, there was a wounded expression on Towhee's face at the rapid rebuff. But when the Sovereign explained, her head cocked and her ears thrust forward in interest. She wanted to hear that story, though before she could ask about it, her friend urged her to share what was on her mind.

It was her turn to refuse and she shot Wraen an apologetic look as she said, -"I'd really rather not talk about it right now."- She didn't want to linger on Fennec's absence 'cause it hurt. And she wasn't planning on breathing a word about her feelings toward Arcturus to anyone, least of all Wraen, who may or may not be romantically involved with him. Towhee wasn't stupid.

-"How about you tell me about falling in a hole instead?"- she prompted in the next beat.

"Well, Towhee, right moments rarely ever present themselves like that," Wraen countered, gnawing on the bone and managing to remove another piece of tasty morsel to swallow. "Do you worry about Fennec? Something wrong with Meerkat?" she tried to guess, but did not expect the Regent to yield in her conviction not to speak about it. 

"Oh, that is not as exciting as it sounds. I was hunting with Maia in the bog past winter, made a fancy jump and crashed through the ice and hit my shoulders. Not a pleasant thing," she told.

Wraen obliged her, though not before refuting Towhee's dismissal. The Regent said nothing, feeling a prickle of indignation crawling like fire ants down her spine. She wasn't going to talk about it with Wraen, at least not right now. If she was going to talk to anyone, it would be Phox or maybe Niamh, though Towhee truthfully had no intentions whatsoever of telling anyone about her strange crush.

Rather than get up in arms about Wraen pressuring her to spill her guts, Towhee deflected by saying, -"Of course I worry about Fen, I'm her mother. And I don't think there's a single thing wrong with Meerkat, which is actually kind of spooky. She's just so damn delightful. And she came out of me."- Not for the first or last time, Towhee shook her head in disbelieving wonder.

Trying to gently steer the conversation away from herself again, Towhee wondered, -"If it's still bothering you after so long, have you talked to Eljay about it?"- Hopefully it was just a minor ache, though what if there was something wrong and Wraen deteriorated until she couldn't hunt or fight? Towhee couldn't help but recollect her variety of injuries over the years and feel silently grateful that she'd adapted and overcome most of them.

"Now we are getting somewhere," Wraen murmured to herself, as she listened to Towhee's speech and did not let the slight annoyment in her words bother her too much. Had she been younger, she would have felt offended or uneasy. At this point in her life she cared a little less, what people thought of her and what she wanted from them.

"Oh, it's nothing much. It just flares up now and then, when I exercise too much. A rest for a day or two does the trick," she shrugged. It really did not need any medical assistence. "So, how are you dealing with the fact that Arcturus and Pippin are strolling around here?" she asked, now looking up from her treat and it was clear from her tone that there was more to come.

Wraen literally shrugged off Towhee's inquiry, which the Regent found amusingly ironic, before going right back to pressing her about her personal goings-on. It was a fair and honest question, though she was beginning to feel a little harangued. She shifted her weight, deliberating getting up and resuming her aimless meandering, since Wraen was certainly not helping her keep her mind off things when that's all she needed and wanted right now.

-"I treat them like any other pack mates,"- Towhee answered, biting back another sigh. She knew Wraen didn't mean any harm and restrained any of her ruder impulses. She decided to indulge her companion a bit, albeit not touching on what she most wanted to avoid (read: her weird feelings toward Arcturus). -"They both probably wonder if they're Meerkat's biological father. I mean, I know Pippin takes issue with it. But you know what? I actually banged this guy who's a dead ringer for Meerkat, right before you mauled my vag. I keep telling everyone there's really no way to know for sure and there isn't. But if anyone's the 'real' father, it's him, and nobody here in the copse."-

Okay, so part of that was a fib—Kaertok was much paler than the pup—but Towhee hoped this little tale would get everyone off hers (and Phox's) back eventually. Her patience with the whole conversation had been thin to begin with and was now nearly nonexistent, especially after Pippin had confronted her only to never show his face around her or Meerkat again.

"Pippin is unhappy," Wraen replied simply and regarded Towhee with a thoughtful gaze, while she herself sought the right words to express, what had transpired between her, Phox and the guy in question few days ago. She was not accusing Regent of anything, she just did not wish this problem to persist between her packmates and sour relationships in the future. 

"From what he told me and Phox - it seemed that you have shut him out of Meerkat's life completely," she explained. "I would like to hear your side of the story. What issue did he take and what did you tell him?" she asked. "Because things can't stay as they are. I do not want to see hostility between packmates over a matter that can be resolved civilly."

-"Excuse me?"- The words came out hot and sharp, dripping with indignation. -"What the fuck?"- she spat in the next breath, rising to her feet unconsciously, the fur along her spine standing on end. She quickly realized she was looming over the Sovereign and making threatening noises, so she drew in a breath and paced away from her before turning around again to face Wraen, trying to keep her temper steady.

She failed. -"That is some bullshit. I told him he's welcome to be Meerkat's friend and a part of her life!"- Towhee said, her voice rising. -"What did he say to you?"- she demanded, once again catching herself and trying to keep her emotions in check.

The good news was that Arcturus was now the furthest thing from her mind.

"I think it had more to do with the fact that you would choose to have Phox as Meerkat's father than him, who in theory has more rights to it - that's not my words, that's his," Wraen kept her calm, though she felt truly sympathetic towards Towhee and, how her shenanigans during heat kept haunting her until today. 

"And I think that part of that jealously is because you were good friends before and now you have drifted apart. He may feel betrayed," she speculated, but looked inquiringly at Towhee, what she had to say in the matter. "To be honest - your personal life is none of my business - but as long as it does not affect relationships between packmates. At the moment it does and it is not pretty."

When Wraen repeated Pippin's belief about rights, Towhee couldn't stifle the growl that surged up from her throat. -"Fucking bullshit!"- she bellowed furiously, all her pent-up feelings of possessiveness injected into the two words, both verbally and otherwise. -"Nobody has any rights to Meerkat!"- she seethed slightly less loudly, adding a silent, except for me in her head.

Drawing in a deep breath, Towhee exploded with even more indignant words. -"I can't believe he told you I was shutting him out of Meerkat's life. That's a blatant fucking lie. He lied to your face, Wraen, and tried to make me out to be the bad guy."- What did Wraen think of that? It quite clearly baked the Regent's noodle. And she still didn't know that Phox had been there too.

-"There's no way to know who sired Meerkat,"- Towhee repeated vehemently, -"and I don't want her being confused or hurt because of this. Phox is a good father figure and the one I want in that role. That should be enough for you and Pippin and anyone else. I don't get why anyone is still pushing me about this. I'm just trying to do what's best for my child."-

"Meerkat does not belong to you either, Towhee," Wraen said, though it was difficult to keep her calm in the face of being yelled at and unjustly accused. She felt like being in the middle of a childish feud and what she hated the most was that it involved the unresolved personal matters of two other people. She did not wish to take sides or teach either Towhee or Pippin, how to live their lives. She just did not wish this seed of discontent grow and flourish. 

"She is her own person," she added, looked away and let out a deep sigh. This was getting ridiculous and she regretted even getting involved. "I think that you need to talk with Pippin again. Calmly," she said, looking at Towhee, pleading her to listen. "It is clear that some things have got lost in translation and even if... in fact, it is not about, who Meerkat's true father is or anything of the like. It does not matter, but you two need to understand, where you stand. 

You were very good friends, when he joined, and you are hostile to each other now," Wraen summarized. "I know you will tell me that all is clear and it is his fault and no business of mine, but, if you do not solve this, it will hurt Meerkat even more in the long-term than you can imagine."

Towhee found Wraen's rebuke so utterly absurd that she froze, simply staring at her. She remained in this state throughout the Sovereign's following words, her insides full of hellfire that lashed and licked, making her blood boil and her skin break out in a rash of heat beneath her fur. But she did not interrupt and, in fact, managed to tamp the flame a little by the time Wraen finished.

-"Sorry, I don't mean to yell at you,"- she said after a pregnant pause where she attempted more successfully to leash her fury. -"For the damn record, though, I was calm when we talked. He just didn't like what I had to say, so he went around telling lies because he's butthurt."- That was blatantly unkind and Towhee knew it, though she was still quietly furious about all of this.

-"You're mistaken, we were never that close,"- Towhee corrected a little woodenly, -"at least, not on my end. He knew the score the entire time too, so don't let him try to tell you I led him on or some kind of horse shit."- And now he was certainly no friend of hers and, of course, she wanted to renege on her offer of involving him entirely. In fact, she wanted to hunt him down and whup his lying ass before telling him to scram.

But as the moments ticked past, Towhee's anger cooled a little. It wasn't gone, by any means, but she knew she shouldn't seek out Pippin anytime soon. -"Oh, I'll track him down eventually,"- she said, picturing herself wringing his neck, -"but not until I don't feel so fucking pissed off about it."- Even if Wraen didn't, she gave herself points for her presence of mind there. And hopefully by that time, she wouldn't want to throttle him so badly.

Suddenly, she moved closer to Wraen again and flopped down just like before, with a windy sigh. -"I wanted to punch you just now,"- she admitted quite frankly, looking up to meet the Sovereign's eyes, -"when you said she doesn't belong to me, I mean. But I know what you're saying. And you're right. One day, I'll tell her all about this and she can make up her own mind. And probably be grossed out and judge me. But she's still a baby, for now. My baby."-

"Towhee that's the problem with you - you are under misconception that other people see your point and feel the way you think they should, when they do not," Wraen said, hating even more that she had to say this and being brutally honest went against her peaceful, conflict-avoiding nature. 

"Remember the situation with Arcturus - for you it was just a one-time stand and no-strings-attached deal. You assumed that he understood the term, when in reality he had no experience with any woman outside his immediate family circle, hadn't had any prior relationships. And that left him embarrassed and very confused and you - butthurt quite literally," she managed a small smile.

"And now you think that Pippin is going around, spreading lies on purpose, when he probably understood and took away from your conversation something entirely different. Perhaps, he thought that there was more between you, or he wanted more than you could give or whatever, but... if he was on the same page as you are, would you really believe we would be having this conversation now?" she asked. 

"He is a good guy and you are a great person, Towhee. I would not wish to part from any one of you," Wraen said. "He is away for a while now - scouting the flatlands for me, and, when he returns or when you are ready to do it, have that conversation. If it does not work out then... we will consider the matter closed."

She tensed defensively when Wraen began her next soliloquy, though she clenched her jaw and remained quiet, eyes lingering on the leader's lips. The Sovereign delivered her words very carefully and reasonably, which helped keep Towhee's knee-jerk anger simmering rather than broiling, though there was still a thread of white hot annoyance zipping through her blood.

-"I told him, verbatim, that he was welcome to be part of Meerkat's life. How much clearer could I have been, Wraen?"- the Regent asked, more sulkily than angrily. -"I never, ever claimed to be an empathetic person,"- she added, this time trapping the sigh in her chest.

She was suddenly reminded of her own conversation with Niamh following her (Niamh's) row with Phox. She had pointed out to her friend that it was most reasonable to keep the peace, for everyone else's sake, since they all had to live together. Towhee suddenly realized that no matter how much she wanted to kick Pippin's ass or prevent him from ever seeing Meerkat again, she would have to do the exact opposite, not only for the child in question but everyone else directly and indirectly affected. It was going to be difficult, though the Regent knew she could take the high road... or at least try her best.

As well, she already shared Meerkat with two others, so what was one more? A child's love was not finite. And their family was already far from conventional. Niamh and Phox had never hesitated to share their roles with her, just as she hadn't batted an eyelash with sharing her miracle baby with the two of them. It might take her some time to process her thoughts and feelings on the matter, though perhaps she would come to realize and accept that she was a lot less worried about confusing her daughter than she was simply overly possessive and controlling about the child she'd never thought she'd have.

-"I bet when Meer's old enough to understand these things, she'll tell us she thought of everyone as her moms and dad this entire time,"- Towhee said with a snort, trying to quell the petty jealousy that arose in her heart at the mere thought.

"Yes, Towhee, but do not expect others to be the same as you either," Wraen had a feeling that they were not going to win this argument for the simple fact of them being two people that stood on the opposite ends of the spectrum. One was empathetic - overly so - and the other was as rational and blunt as a bulldozer (an exaggeration, but bulldozers are cool!). "Just make a rational point to yourself next time that not all people think or act rationally," she could have ended with a better worded argument, but decided to leave it at that. 

"But why can't it be like this now? I can decree that Meerkat is under the collective parenthood of all Firebirds and no one gets more rights to her than others," Wraen mused half-seriously, though she knew that it would not rub well with Towhee. "I mean that would save me a lot of troubles and dissolve petty arguments... until next year," she arched an eyebrow and grinned.

Perhaps because she was already grappling with her inner possessiveness over Meerkat, the joke didn't land particularly well. -"Not funny,"- she rebutted, leering at Wraen, though her hard expression eased a little in the following moment. She knew the Sovereign was kidding, even if Towhee wasn't currently in the right temperament to take the joke.

It would've been a good time to excuse herself out of this conversation entirely, though she found herself lingering as she realized just how effectively Wraen had cleared her head of Arcturus, after all. Only he was back now, crowding into the forefront of her brain, and she found herself blurting, -"Hey, can I ask you something? Unrelated to any of this."- Well, kind of.

Though it sounded like a joke now, Wraen decided to hold onto the idea of shared parenthood for supposed Jesus-puppies in the future. Because if anything, then Towhee's case this year had taught her that mindless banging around during spring madness could potentially stir a lot of trouble. She only prayed that the Heaven's had mercy on her and did not send Daddy No.3 and Daddy No.4 to Firebirds anytime soon or ever.

"Ask away," Wraen replied, leaning down to gnaw on her bone again, which was a welcome distraction and relaxing activity now that the heavy stuff had been discussed and put behind them.

"Ask away," Wraen said breezily, as if she hadn't just taken a verbal lashing on Pippin's behalf. Towhee paused for a moment to acknowledge this fact and send out a silent note of gratitude for their friendship. Wraen really was good people.

-"Pretty sure I've asked you this, maybe even more than once, but... are you and Arcturus involved romantically?"- She knew it was nosy but, well, they'd been all up in her business the past half hour, so it was only fair.

Towhee had asked this to Wraen before and then just as now she did not know the answer. She pondered on this for a while and ended up with nothing better than a shrug: "I don't know. Never thought of being in love with him, but I like him and he is my friend." In the aftermath of the conversation they had just had, the sovereign realized that she knew for sure only about herself and had never asked Arcturus take on their friendship. Did he think there was more? Did he want to?

"Why do you ask?" she searched Towhee's expression, having a feeling that unlike Niamh's feminine curiousity that knew no shame, the regent might have an entirely different purpose in mind. Not just gossip.

Towhee laughed under her breath when Wraen made a point to ponder the question for a while before answering. She replied in a noncommittal way, which made the Regent's insides leap in a way that made her want to puke. Just because the Sovereign wasn't interested didn't mean Arcturus wasn't... or that he would be into her... good god, of course he'd never be into her, not after everything...

She blinked loudly and then shrugged when Wraen wanted to know why she'd asked. -"Just nosy."- She paused before adding, -"I think you'll be happy to know I'm being nicer to him lately. He's really good with Meerkat, which goes a long way with me."- She exhaled loudly. -"And to revisit your earlier question, he's never asked about her parentage or tried to force himself on us as her dad. He's just... there, no strings attached. He showed her how to patrol."- Wow, and she was babbling.

"Nosy, huh?" Wraen did not quite believe this, especially the "just" part, but she had already dug several pits in Towhee's wildflower garden today to be rude enough and do it again. She was glad to know that her Regent - despite initial misgivings - had accepted Arcturus in the pack and that the fellow was young, innocent and bright enough to take Meerkat's mom's words as a rock solid truth. 

"Well, he did say that he helped raise his younger siblings. And it is nice that he has someone to bond with," she said. "Kids are great that way - they have a lot of unconditional love to give," she mused and then, as a thought entered her mind, she studied Towhee briefly and grinned. "So, are you considering him as a potential marriage material in the future?"