Phantom Hollow bodak yellow

Caracal woke in the middle of the night, his bladder fit to burst. He carefully crept from the makeshift bed he shared with his wife to go relieve himself against a bush. After he did his business, he decided to do a quick patrol of the area.

Despite the later hour, he felt wide awake as he walked slowly through the dark hollow. He chalked it up to his excitement at heading to Epoch in the morning to see his family there, namely Towhee. He couldn’t wait to introduce her and Heda, then see her face when he told her she would be having more grandchildren soon.

Towhee kept telling herself to call it quits and go home. It felt like she’d searched every inch of the mountains. She’d widened her net now, though how far was she planning to go? She was distraught but she needed to think of the kids. She’d made a point to head home each day to tend to them, though Towhee knew they needed her more than that. They needed her more than ever.

She roamed into the hollow, remembering the “field trip” she had taken following Leo’s death. Maybe Maxim had returned to the forest where they’d stayed? Towhee could think of no reason why he would be there, yet she decided she had to check. Towhee also made another decision: it would be her last stop.

She saw a flash of movement through the trees ahead and she couldn’t help but choke out a hopeful, Maxim?

Despite intending to patrol, the sound of a voice shouting badly startled Caracal out of his thoughts. He froze, then whirled toward the noise, scanning the hollow with his one good eye. His heart drummed in his chest even as he realized he recognized both that name and the voice calling it.

Mom? he yelled incredulously into the night before realizing, duh, she won’t hear you.

Scrambling through the unfamiliar underbrush, he managed to find her quite quickly. But Caracal could only goggle at her. What the hell was Towhee doing out here in the middle of the night? She wasn’t exactly the type to wander. Besides, didn’t she have young pups at home? Something must be very fucking wrong, he decided.

Mom, what are you doing here? Caracal asked, hating the look in her eyes before she even answered him.

It wasn’t Maxim. It was Caracal. What were the odds of running into her son in these strange woods in the middle of the night? Part of Towhee marveled, she supposed, but mostly she tried to swallow the enormous lump of disappointment caught in her throat.

-“Maxim went missing a few days ago. I’m looking for him. You haven’t seen or heard from him, by any chance, have you?”- Towhee asked.

Caracal looked dumbstruck by the news. Before he even had a chance to shake his head, she knew she had her answer. Towhee sagged for a moment. At least her son would know now to keep an eye out, even if she would not ask him to search. How many times had she rambled about the utter pointlessness of such things?

-“What are you doing here, anyway?”- she wondered wearily after a beat.

He expected her to elaborate on the details of Maxim’s disappearance, though she didn’t. Caracal was afraid to ask. His heart squeezed in fear for his stepdad, not to mention his poor mom. He knew Towhee could look after herself—and their kids as well—but damn, that still sucked horribly.

I’m sorry, mom, he said uselessly. We were on our way to come see you in the morning, he added to answer her question, pointing behind himself. Heda’s asleep back there. We were just at Moonspear, visiting with Meerk, Killer and the rest…

He wondered if he should go wake Heda. But it seemed like a strange thing to do, in the circumstances. Surely the good news would cheer up Towhee a bit, though there was still the matter of her missing mate. Aside from looking for him, Caracal didn’t know if there was anything anyone could do.

Nevertheless, he asked, Do you need our help?

She blinked at the darkness over Caracal’s shoulder, though of course she couldn’t see anything. Towhee’s eyes quickly cut back to his face to lipread. Despite how distraught she felt, something her son said effectively distracted her. The furrow in her brow deepened.

-“No, I don’t think there’s anything anybody can do. I mean, you can keep an eye out for him if you travel and send word if you find out anything but…”- Towhee replied with a sigh before asking, -“Killer’s at Moonspear? Fen too?”-

Hadn’t they refused to live in the vale because they’d wanted to start something of their own? That hurt mixed in with her overall anguish. Towhee couldn’t afford to dwell on it right now. What she needed was to think about lighter things.

-“How’s Meerkat? And how are you? Are you and Heda still living on the island?”-

Yeah, they’re both there. I tried to get them to stay on the island with us but Fennec didn’t want to, Caracal said with a touch of salt. Meerkat’s doing good! She has a couple of new kiddos: Orca and Seal. And speaking of that… mom, Heda and I are mates now. And we’re expecting pups in about a month!

It still felt weird to be talking about any of this right now, sans Heda and with this horrible event looming over Towhee’s head. But his mom looked like she could really use some good news. And short of Maxim reappearing instantaneously, Caracal figured pretty much nothing could top more grandchildren.

Her face softened a little as he spoke. Towhee supposed it was good that several of her children and grandchildren were in one place, even if it wasn’t her place. She wondered if Caracal and Heda might end up there too, though it sounded like they had a good thing going with their little slice of paradise.

And then Caracal gave her the big update and she whispered, That’s wonderful news.

There was more she wanted to say on the matter, though tears sprung to her eyes and Towhee hung her head. Everyone else was doing well and she was truly so happy to hear that. But her own life—so good for such a long time, with Maxim at her side—had been blown apart yet again.

Towhee had rebounded from so many tragedies in her life. And hadn’t she always seen this one coming? And yet here she stood in defeat, unsure she could bounce back this time.

This wasn’t at all how he’d envisioned this scenario. Caracal had totally intended for Heda to be beside him when he delivered this news to Towhee. He’d imagined his mom losing her mind in the good way before insisting he and Heda come hang in the vale a while to tell everybody else the good news…

Instead, he could only watch in horror as Towhee appeared on the verge of a breakdown. Caracal sucked in a huge breath and then scooped his mom into his arms before she could start crying. He held onto her tightly and rocked a little, for lack of anything better to do.

I don’t wanna, like, feed you bullshit, he murmured, aware she wouldn’t hear him but putting the special intention out there anyway, but I really, really, hope he turns up for you, mom.

Caracal squeezed her tightly and then released, stepping back so she could actually catch what he said next.

I know you’re not alone but if you ever need to get away, come to the island. Bring anyone you want with you. Stay as long as you like. Our door is always open. Okay?

Part of Towhee wanted to just break down and cry when Caracal wrapped her in a hug. Instead, she found herself strengthened by his grip and the tickle of his warm breath as he spoke into her ear. Fondness swept through her, so powerful it was almost excruciating. Even if Maxim was gone, Towhee was not alone.

He said as much, when they slid apart. She nodded. There was Caracal and Heda at the island; Meerkat, Fennec and the grandkids at Moonspear; and of course her brother, Jack and the babies back in the vale. Her natal family had shrunk a lot lately—did Caracal even know about Leona? Towhee couldn’t remember—though her extended family was growing more than ever…

Thanks, Cackle, Towhee said, her affection stirring up the old nickname. You’re right. I’m not alone. And I’ll keep that in mind. I mean, I’ll have to stop by sometime to meet my grandchildren, won’t I? Her lips twitched faintly, then fell. I need to go home.

Her eyes glanced in the direction of Neverwinter Forest over yonder. But Maxim wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere, as far as she could tell, and Towhee needed to turn her attention to the loved ones who were around, specifically her youngest two.

Give Heda my congratulations. You guys can still stop by the vale but… Towhee would not be the best company right now and sort of hoped they could meet under better circumstances, some other time. I’m glad I bumped into you tonight, Caracal. Take good care of your family.

Towhee touched her nose to her son’s cheek, then pulled away and turned east, where the horizon was already getting lighter. Maybe Maxim would be waiting for her when she got home, though Towhee quickly plucked that optimistic thought of her head, set it aside and faced the reality of a future without the love of her life.

Caracal didn’t know what else to say but, You too, mom.

He watched her retreat into the receding gloom, though he didn’t linger. As soon as Towhee vanished, he spun on a heel and ran to find @Heda, still asleep where he’d left her. He dropped to the ground and curled around her, his chin falling across the red stripe of her nape and his eyes closing.

But he didn’t sleep. He lay there, thinking about his mom and Maxim. And then he found himself thinking about his mom and Reyes. And then Fennec and Bronco. And Meerkat and Issorartuyok. And…

Caracal’s brow scrunched as he clung a little more tightly to his wife. He would call off their visit to the vale in the morning. Heda would understand. He pressed his face into her pale fur, thanking God for her.