Ouroboros Spine am I settling up or settling down

Lane stopped when she scented the Moonglow border; it was laid much more heavily now than it had been a moon ago. The Moonwolves were gaining in numbers and strength, it seemed. Hopefully that meant that @Kukutux was recovered, and @Keyni was thriving. Perhaps @Zane had found a nice girl to marry-- one that could actually stay put for half a second. 

The Duskfire representative crooned out a low summons; greetings from and old friend, and their allied pack. When Lane had last departed this border, it had not been with the intention to leave for good. She merely wanted some air, to put some miles under her paws so she could think. But Kukutux had made her a kind offer, and she deserved an answer, even if it came many weeks later than expected.

a breath! an inhale! 

moonglow prepared for its first marriage ceremony.

and kukutux prepared for aiolos.

who knew when the spirits might bless her? she thanked them for not bringing the season during her time of injury.

moonwoman cleaned old furs and debris from the ulaq, replacing the brittle boughs of pine with fresh ones and bits of cherrywood beneath the cured skins. she sang as she worked, but the words were interrupted by the voice of lane. with excitement, relief to see that her companion was not lost, the duck sped quickly to the borders, forgetting her usual shoulder-wrap.

but jadeite gaze fell to lane's pretty features, and then to the curve of her sides. "sister," kukutux breathed in wonder and rapturement. "it is good to see your face. i see that you have been favored." did lane mean to rear her brood here? another grace, and she gestured that lane should come into their land, for it was too hers, until she said another word.

quick cameo, my only post here! <3

Zane heard the call and recognized the voice, but he wasn't about to go respond to it. He'd accepted the fact long since Lane hadn't meant what she said when she'd offered what she did, and while he'd been intrigued initially, he didn't have too many regrets. He hadn't really believed it in the first place? And she'd pretty immediately disappeared.

The call wasn't for him and it wasn't a return, it seemed. So she'd found a new home; good for her. His ears pricked up, then he relaxed back where he'd been napping the afternoon away.

See? Marriage was bullshit, and the better way to find happiness was lookin for it with your own four paws. And if he ever found himself lackin, it was comforting to know he could very well do the same thing.

Kukutux was quick to arrive. It was good to see her moving a bit more easily on that ankle. 

Lane smiled as the duck gave her a warm reception, and she joined Kukutux on the other side of the Moonglow border without hesitation once she was waved inside. 

Kukutux looked a bit different without her usual shawl-- no less beautiful, of course, but perhaps a little more.. casual? That along with the use of "sister," and Lane found herself moving forward to brush her cheek against the regal's shoulder, offering a more affectionate greeting than they had used in past meetings. It was those pregnancy hormones making her sappy, Lane would tell herself, beginning what was sure to be a long-standing habit of blaming the children for the emerging sentimentality in her personality. 

"Umm.. yeah," Lane affirmed hesitantly, still unable to quite reach the mentality in which she might consider herself "favored." 

"Things didn't quite go according to plan." She threw a look over her shoulder, gesturing to her pregnant belly. "On a related note, I met your friend Wintersbane..." Her words drifted off as she allowed that sink in, hoping that Kukutux would connect the dots without requiring Lane to spell it out for her.

kukutux grew thoughtful as lane explained in the way of women, which was with the eyes and maybe a word or perhaps two. a language that men did not have.

so she had left moonglow and travelled toward the glacier. and had met the man wintersbane, who had once asked kukutux to find for him a wife. 

slowly, a teasing humour spilled into her mouth; she hid a beam as she belatedly returned the nudge of fur upon fur. the duck looked slyly upon lane.

"you have given me admiration."

"Admiration? How so?" Something about Kukutux's expression and tone gave Lane the feeling that she was being teased, but she hadn't quite picked up on the joke. 

Seeing as she was still adjusting to the idea of being pregnant, hers wasn't really a situation that lended itself to overly-casual conversation. She was a long way from reaching a point at which she could withstand teasing with good humor. 

A swell of sensitivity bubbled in her chest, but Lane pushed it down for the moment. She wouldn't take offense, not yet, not before Kuktux explained...

something absent from lane's expression reminded kukutux of the earlier moments, and she realized that the woman did not glow with the satisfied air of one who knew her fertility to be a measure of esteem. "you leave as wanderer and return as anaa. i am moonwoman of a village and have not been chosen." but this did not perturb kukutux, who meant it only as praise for her companion.

pale ears folded back. "what is the matter, lane?" surely wintersbane had not seized an advantage? but such things did come to pass, and kukutux felt dread inside her, realizing perhaps she had insulted a grave situation with her informal air.

Oh, right. Lane had been submerged in pack life in Duskfire Glacier for so long that she'd almost forgotten how things worked here. Married women were held in higher esteem in Moonglow, so it made sense that a pregnant woman (an anna?) would be worthy of the highest admiration. 

Kukutux must have detected an edge in her voice, or a tightness in her expression-- Lane was terrible at masking her inner feelings-- because she proceeded to ask her what was wrong. Just the question by itself softened her mental defenses, like a wall of ice melting under the sun's warm glow. Lane's lower jaw trembled a bit, revealing emotion that she herself hadn't even quite realized was there. 

"I wasn't chosen--" perhaps Kukutux had meant "chosen" in the more spiritual sense, but Lane was a literal creature. "Wintersbane chose whoever happened to be around, and receptive. I'm not the only anaa expecting his pups." For the purpose of Kukutux's matchmaking records, she added a little caustically, "He's not interested in marriage anymore."

The feeling poured out, laid bare at Kukutux's feet upon the fresh spring grass. But the words themselves, they weren't quite right. Lane was certainly upset with one of the lustful males of the Glacier, but it wasn't Wintersbane. Not truly. Her jealous feelings over Rye and Imaq's coupling churned in the pit of her stomach, but Lane was far too embarrassed over her crush to let those feelings escape. So instead, the blame displaced itself onto Wintersbane.

it was not a good thing to hear. kukutux moved closer, pressing her shoulder to that of the other woman if allowed, to cluck her tongue and to listen. 

she knew the circle-secrets taught by the old ones who attended each birth. but lane had too many weeks. the pups were strong and would be born. 

not to be chosen as wife but for a man's lust only was a place of thorns for a woman. she would be alone and reliant only upon those around her. brow furrowed, and the jade eyes cooled. 

"he has already made that choice. he must accept it now. if you bear children of his spirit, he will give you meat until they can eat it. and he gives them his name. and he honors you with his. that is the way it always must be."

a pause. "it is not — it is not the path of things in this land. but he must make you each wife. he does not now have the choosing of walking away from this true word."

this would be a hurting thing to hear, for the duck understood greatly the want of women and men here to be chosen by one another, for only one another. yet in her mind wintersbane could not have several women bear his children and refuse them his name. he must make the ground straight for each of them now. this was the way of atsak also. and wintersbane had hurt the herb-knower.

her gaze fell to lane, worried, filled with an affectionate sadness that children had not been part of a mutual choice inside a bond. wintersbane had taken his advantage then.

kukutux lifted her chin, sat back upon her haunches in the way of a woman smoothing her skirt. "if he does not make a marriage for you to him, he gives an insult to all of moonglow. i will go to him and say this, lane."

Lane accepted Kukutux's nudge of comfort with a deep sigh of gratitude. She  nodded along with Kukutux's words of reassurance. Yes, Wintersbane would care for her and the children, and he had already spoken of his desire that they carry his new surname, Duskfire. Thus, the children would belong to him and to the land of their birth. 

Lane's eyebrows lifted when Kukutux explained that the only path forward was for Wintersbane to marry both her AND Tzila, and whoever else he'd covered. Lane hadn't been part of Duskfire Glacier long, but she was pretty sure that wasn't the way of that land, either. Lane opened her mouth, but no words came out immediately. Instead, Kukutux spoke once more, insisting that she would go to Wintersbane and correct all of this for Lane, in the way that a parent might step in to put things right for their child who had been wronged. 

"No, Kukutux. Thank you, that's.. that means a lot to me..." Lane's eyes shimmered with emotion, but a different one this time. She was overcome with gratitude for what Kukutux offered: the Moonwoman meant to put her pack's alliance on the line, just to make sure Wintersbane did right by Lane. 

"..But I'm not going to drive a wedge between the packs, and I'm not going to have Wintersbane's tail twisted into a marriage he doesn't want." God, that sounded like a recipe for a disastrous marriage, if she ever heard one. "It's not even a marriage I want," Lane admitted, looking down at her paws. She was well aware that her words would contradict what she previously implied, which was a bit embarrassing. "I'd prefer it if he married one of the others," she continued quietly, "For me, there might be someone else..." 

It was the first time she had admitted her crush aloud. She trailed off, affected.

kukutux wished to argue that it was not for lane's honor only, but for the future of the children she carried. however such lines must be said softly. until the other finished, thoughtful and soft. 

there was another. this revelation surprised the duck, whose alabastrine ears cupped toward lane in willingness to hear more upon this front. why had she not chosen this wolf? but this was not her place to ask. what had importance was the feeling of lane, and kukutux did not like the situation she meant to choose for herself.

"you have a choice, then," moonwoman said with hope. "but you are still promised a portion of wintersbane's kills and anything else you might ask." she studied the other woman in contemplation. "even if he makes another his wife." 

who was the other of which lane spoke? the duck held fervent that something more joyous might come of this for lane, and wished to make it so.

"i speak on your part. that is my role. he will not break our bond. it will do nothing for him. i will say no more on this," she added, for the other had said it would not do and kukutux would not press.

Kukutux assured her that she would still be cared for, and Lane nodded. "He'll be a good father." She was certain of this. If there had to be a man by which she was accidentally pregnant, she was lucky it had been Wintersbane. He was a good man and a good leader, and he would no doubt make a good father; she wouldn't have joined his ranks otherwise. Not when she had other friends willing to take her in, like Kukutux. 

The air whooshed out of Lane's lungs as she sighed, relieved to hear that Kukutux wasn't going to interfere. "Thank you," Lane said. The words hung in the air for a moment as she opened her mouth to say more. She wanted to acknowledge Kukutux's generosity and protectiveness; truly, she hadn't expected the Moonwoman to come so forcefully to her aid. Lane hadn't even been one of her own pack, not officially. But the words would not come. 

Lane switched tactics. 

"Before I go back home, would you have the time to teach me some saiyu?" Lane asked hopefully. The ridge that bordered the glacier to the east had some curiously warm pockets in its rocky surface. It would be perfect for mixing Kukutux's warm-water based medicines.

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he will give you care or i will come to his village, kukutux closeted behind a sweet expression, one that truly flowered into a grin to hear that lane had not forgotten. "i will have much joy to teach this thing, lane," she assured. "we will go to my ulaq and i will take the argaignaq from its place." a furrowing of her brow. "it is, ah, well, you will see it!" the duck exclaimed with little apology and much elation.

it would turn out to be a carefully wrapped dark mushroom chased with stipplings of white. a skilled healer chewed it in strips and spat it without swallowing into the hot water, a small bell-curve of underwater stonework creating a tiny pool at side of the spring. ingested, and dependent upon the largesse, one or each of them might walk upon the night-path to look across the red river in one's mind. on the opposite bank of this vision, the spirit world, caught in ribbons of dancing light above sharp cold mountains.

mixed successfully with shredded white birchbark in the steaming water, the brew would foam alabaster first, and then deepen into a heavy burgundy as the mixture was churned. "it is to clean a wound, ah, much pain," the woman explained, knowing that lane would understand the harsh spearing sting of a cut or bite that must be cleansed. 

"and then," she grinned. a medicine for pain as well as soothing. "only a very little. one claw," to indicate the measurement. "saiyu."

Lane enjoyed the journey through the Moonglow; the familiar territory from several months prior had shed its winter coat and grown into its glorious springtime raiment. Lane kept her eyes peeled for familiar faces-- Keyni in particular-- but the pair were fated to complete their journey uninterrupted.

Lane watched carefully, every bit Kukutux's eager student. She was surprised to see Kukutux produce the fungus; upon inspection, it was one that Lane knew to be poisonous-- not to the body, but to the mind. Not that Lane herself had ever experimented with such a thing; she took the word of her parents on that one. 

However, it was not unheard of for herbs which were poisonous to ingest to be of medicinal use when topically applied. Lane carefully watched as Kuktux brew her witches potion... although Lane didn't believe in such things as witches, it was hard to think of the burgundy, broiling substance as anything but sorcery. Lane was starting to understand why some wolves characterized their medics as magicians. 

Kukutux noted that the cleansing would be painful, and Lane nodded. She'd had some experience with a hot-water cleansing, thanks to Vein, and she vividly recalled how the waters of the hot springs had stung her infected paw. 

Finally, Kukutux recommended the oral dosage of "one claw." Lane returned her grin with a small, conspiratorial smile of her own, although her feelings on the matter didn't quite match her expression. Lane was torn. On one paw, she respected Kukutux immensely for her medical proficiency, but on the other, she was decidedly opposed to the use of mind-altering substances. 

All too often, such substances were employed as means to "commune with spirits" or bring on some sort of religious experience, which wolves would then use to justify actions and decisions that could not be otherwise supported by logic or principle. Lane would not prescribe a known hallucinogen to her patients.. not until she had experienced the effects herself, at least. But she would experiment with that on her own time, using her own witch's brew. 

"Thank you, Kukutux," Lane breathed, hoping she sounded appropriately reverent. She was grateful that Kukutux had shared this secret, and also eager to start experimenting with her own brews. Hopefully, she could come up with a dosage that was effective without inducing any mind-altering side affects. 

Lane would depart from Moonglow by way of the Chimera Fields, continuing on until she reached the ocean. She would then turn north, following the coast until she came to the Taiga. It was a longer path home, to be sure, but with her belly growing heavier seemingly by the day, scaling the mountains again was out of the question. 

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