Ouroboros Spine siunnurak ⌽

moonmother did not seek @Asivaq out until late into the next morning. she expected that her daughter would wish to sleep.

instead, kuktutux invited the children to join her near the ulax for stories of firemother and the three sisters, for treats, for anything that might show them how much they had long been loved.

and once she could be alone, she sought her returned daughter, and held her in a long embrace beside the lake.

It is so good to see your face, Asivaq said through tears as she held Kukutux close. I am so sorry, for everything—for my actions, how I treated others. I have so many regrets. How foolish she'd been! How naive and stupid! She thought it was a miracle that they'd been allowed to re-enter the ranks.

She didn't let go. She pulled her mother closer.

ariadne clung to her. kukutux crooned to the young woman, so suffused with gratitude that she was home.

but while her daughter may not have been injured in the flesh, wounds inflicted on the soul bled far longer.

"yes. there are things to be mended. begin with vairë," she encouraged. moondoe seethed, but kukutux did not think she wanted to ascend as moonwoman with anger borne toward her sister.

besides. ariadne would need vairë for what was to come.

"speak to me, water child. what happened?" where did you go? but she did not ask. she only posed the question again, a second time, here where they were alone and ariadne's grief could have its free voice.

"Yes. There are things to be mended. Begin with Vairë," Kukutux encouraged.

I will, Asivaq promised. She will be the next one I will seek.

When prompted to speak on her time away and elaborate, she closed her eyes and recounted the events. We went north after the bison hunt and stayed at a camp of Tartok wolves. There, I was named Asivaq and Issumatar. From there, we returned to the valley and went south until we found a territory that suited us. We called ourselves Napatuqvik—tree village.

She took a deep breath. Everything was fine until after the children's birth, when a pack moved themselves right next door, and wolves began trespassing. Kigipigak became a constant guardian, and I was a full-time mother without a village. She did not expect pity; it was her fault she had been so alone. Our lives became separate, and we worked ourselves to exhaustion. At some point after Little Fox's death, we decided it was time to move our village. We went to say goodbye to our other neighbors, Njord and Meerkat, and they invited us into their village. We declined because we wanted out of the area. They, rightfully, were not happy that we rejected their offer.

You were all I could think about when I thought of where we should go, so I asked Kigipigak if we could try and return, and he agreed. I think this was Sedna’s doing, as I was straying farther and farther from myself and my family.

i was named asivaq and issumatar.

whatever budding goodwill kukutux had tried to nurture in her breast, after that first rage — it died as if it were a willowbud in a flash-frost.

not only had he led ariadne away, he had even taught her to change her name, to reject the ways of her people. it was not enough for him to change his name each time that he wished to avoid a life-change he had brought about! he must also try and bend her from sedna!

and on the heels of this thought, ariadne — asivaq —

i will never call her that

never?

tooteega's grating voice was harsh.

do you wish her to be home or not? you are too old to be a fool, moonwoman. mother to many. matriarch. too old. be wise.

— asivaq spoke of sedna now, and kukutux felt shame flare in her own belly. it was so, and what a wrath it had been. she did not feel like lecturing her daughter about the nature of spirit names, the breaking of ties. it was enough that she was back. 

be wise.

"i am glad you listened to her voice and came back." she kissed the gentle forehead as if the mother and head of her own village — two now! — were only a girl at her paws. "and i know you have given much. you have lost much. it is a pain in the spirit that holds and glows like fire. and to lose a child, aya. you were with me when your sister returned to sedna. and still, i feel it, my daughter, every day. i have learned to walk forward. but i will never forget."

little fox.

"i understand why offense was taken. no one wants to see pain they can ease." 

the matter of the looming pack brought her mind sharply back to kigipigak, and why he had not been able to muster others. asivaq spoke as if she had needed his say to come here! issumatar! her daughter had not been carved from rock and granite; she needed a village, and he had not built it!

be wise!

"such things are sometimes only settled with warriors. i know that it was hard not to stand for napatuqvik. but you listened to your spirit, which now is anaa also. this is good." a smile, a pause; a breath;

i am angry because after everything else, i trusted him to do this. i trusted in his strength, in his long-seeing, in his hunting, in his teeth. i had no choice. he made it so i had no choice but to trust, and he has brought her back worse than when she ran away from the bison hunt.

"the death songs." she drew back to look into the eyes which reflected the pain of loss in the soul. "were they sung for little fox?" she did not want to ask, her own gaze glowing with this, but she could not go forward without thinking of her small grandson's spirit, lost to an ether. and she did not know what sunshine ways had been practiced in the tree-place.

"i only want you to rest for a time. sleep. eat. be with your children. walk with your husband. do not try to burden yourself with work to hide the pain. feel it. let it go."

a thought; "do you wish for us to hold a ceremony here in the remembering of little fox?"

Warmth radiated from Kukutux's kiss. Asivaq reveled in it, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, feeling like she was breathing for the first time in months. She reveled in it. I am thankful, too, she replied after a beat, opening her eyes and blinking against the light as she picked her words carefully. Not only for Her, but for you, too. The implication was hidden between the lines; she knew Kukutux could've turned them away. Thank you for letting us come home, anaa. She kissed her cheek.

She felt all was right in the world. She had her family, her family, and children together in the same place. There had been no disputes so far; what more could she want?

When asked about Little Fox, her heart began to hurt, but she knew this conversation was necessary. She nodded, pain spreading throughout her body—how she wanted to cry!—and bowed her head. Yes, I sang, she replied. He is safe—I did everything we did when we sang together. This, at least, she was confident about.

Another wave of emotion overcame Asivaq when Kukutux expressed her wish for her daughter to rest and asked if they could hold a ceremony for Little Fox. She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut and nodding. Please, she said, a whine hissing at the end of her words. Just ... let me know how I can help. She would contribute what she could to the event. She thought briefly of Kigipigak and his people's beliefs regarding the dead but quickly discarded it; she needed this.

"this is the place of your birth. you can always return home, my daughter," moonmother murmured, raising gentle hand to asivaq's strained face, now at last releasing its tension into the young and lovely lines they had held before.

she wanted to ask if kigipigak had sung, then chided herself for considering even a moment the possibility he had not. he would not have allowed his wife to be alone in her grief, no matter the stark gradient between his people and her own. kukutux had accepted the winterhawk over and over, and even now despite the thrum of her anger, it came; a seeping, reluctant forgiveness. "you sang. the sunshine ancestors will welcome him," mothervoice assured, even as heart churned ice along its corners to think that she lied.

"bring things to my ulaq that would have pleased him as a child. toys you meant for him. furs upon which he lay. anything that holds a piece of his spirit, we will sing these all to sedna."

her eyes veiled again with salt; she looked down with a steadying breath, then upward once more with a slow and gentle look. "he is not alone. he is with your sea-sister and the little cousin who went with her mother to the dancing lights."

Kukutux gently cupped Asivaq's face with her paw, and she leaned into her mother's touch with a smile. The world was still for a moment, and everything felt right; she was home.

There were arrangements to be made for Little Fox's ceremony, and she pulled away and nodded as she was instructed what to do. I will start collecting things in the morning—I'll include the children and get them acquainted with their home. Which, then, an idea came to her mind: You are welcome to join us if you would like. They need to meet their anna’s anaa.

While her smile was somber, there was light in the darkness. They will take good care of him.

ariadne leaned not only into her mother, but into the sunshine ways. mother's soul sensed how lonely her daughter had been without her people, and grew determined to keep close the shining-water girl always.

"it brings me joy that you are home. remember again that you may always return."

a smile graced her muzzle, and she suggested they go back now, to prepare for the rite to come.

moonglow was lit with peace.

It brings me great joy, too, she agreed with a smile.

Although she had no intention of leaving, Ariadne was thankful for the reminder. It was nice to feel wanted and a sense of belonging. I will, anaa,

She followed her mother, feeling at peace once more.