Barrow Fields pavva mauragak

They had left the glacier behind them.

The lands were once filled with caribou, but now there were only the wolves of Moonglow on the move. Snow crusted everything: the tree-tops, the henge beneath, the endless field as they trampled their way across the ice and through it. Kigipigak did not stand out here.

He kept to the rear guard while the other hunters and warriors made their paths, themselves alongside the main corridor of bodies, or making wide arcs as they patrolled and kept the children corralled. The head of the procession was easy to spot: Aiolos was large and red after all, and beside him was @Kukutux.

Kigipigak had been in high spirits when they had left their village for Duskfire, having gone gallivanting through the snow and making a show of it. This time he lacked the same energy. It was as if the feast had disrupted something within him, leaving him distracted.

Try as he might to ignore the nagging feeling as he marched, Kigipigak was slow to follow Moonglow, and stopped mid-field to cast a look over his shoulder to the distantly rising tooth of a mountain.

tuluuwaq meant to seek lane.

kigipigak had come with his village after all.

eventually kukutux fell back to find the stride of the winterhawk, allowing shikoba to take her place. she breathed in the scent here, which tasted faintly of salt.

"is your spirit here, kiggavik?" or had he left his heart in another place, as he had with sakhmet?

The woman found her place beside him. Kigipigak almost did not notice, his eye was trained upon the mountain so far off, and when he turned he found her striding near, and gave a sigh.

He picked up his feet and caught up to where moon-woman walked. It felt very much like he had missed another opportunity. He was slow and weighted, as he had been while hunting for Sakhmet, but now Kigipigak did not know what he hunted for at all.

I do not know, Kukutux. Even his voice lacked the usual energy. He was quiet for a moment and followed her across the snow.

I brought the hide to Lane... he said suddenly, and having not been asked about it, this was clue enough to what was on Kigipigak's mind. She was glad to have it. But at the feast, I did not see her. I did not expect to either, but... yes, he pined, unknowingly.

I understand that as a leader to her people, she would be very busy. The feast was a loud place with many faces. It is nothing, Kukutux. I only worry for the sake of the village. That of itself was no lie; the people of the glacier had hunted well, but the illness in the herd had been incredibly damaging.

Kigipigak's thoughts were that of a hunter, or a brother, as that was what he knew.

kukutux did not like to see him this way.

"lane is strong and wise. issorartuyok is beside her. she will find the right path for duskfire."

the duck paused. kigipigak was very committed to the ways of his own people. she did not know how to speak directly with words he would heed.

"if you want lane at your side, you must tell her. you must not wait." her jadestone eyes searched his own. it was not too late for him to return. "but you must be sure in this."

she pulled her gaze from him and went on. "i have seen you look at another."

While he adored moon-woman and looked upon her as a second mother, or perhaps a mother to replace the one which had so far failed him, he could not shake the knowledge that Kukutux was not of Tartok. She would not understand the ways which Kigipigak had been taught as truth. He took her advice silently, breathing sharply from his nose, and left it at that.

She watched him. Implored him, in her way, to go after Lane if that was what he desired — and that earned further silence. Kigipigak did not know how to share with her the conflict that arose when he tried to speak with Lane before; he had ample opportunity to learn of the woman and to befriend her, or even approach her as aokatti, and had not.

I have seen you look at another.This time Kukutux did not look upon him. It was Kigipigak's turn to stare, even for a moment, and then he was frowning at the ice by his feet. It does not matter who I look at. He did not know who she meant, anyway.

it was an odd thing, to both be of the snow but constrained by their own practices.

"it does not if you do not mean anything by the look." kukutux felt herself grow more motherly perhaps. "the man tulimaq. he is of tartok. he has more years than me and no wife. he is sivullik but he does not command a village."

kukutux sighed out "i do not think lane wishes to be issumatar."

"maybe it is keyni who has this pride."

Kigipigak's steps became heavier at the mention of Tulimaq, as if he were punching the ice down out of spite. His pace slowed again, in time with Kukutux' sigh, hearing the words spoken of Lane and Keyni but not hearing them also.

Tulimaq is everything a man of Tartok is supposed to be. He had not meant to defend the wolf, but that is how it would sound.

It is not the way of Tartok to settle and watch the days go by. We are all hunters, we are all warriors. Conquerors! The only reason Tulimaq came to you was to test you. He had heard of the way the man had come for Shikoba - all of Moonglow knew of it.

There was an anxious look upon Kigipigak's face now, and he paced more within his stride, clearly agitated by something that he could not speak of. It took some time before he calmed, and by then the pair had traveled some ways across the barrows.

If he is true to Tartok and he wants conquest, his hunting party will become something much worse, and he may come to our village. This was only one of the many thoughts in Kigipigak's busy mind. It seemed more important than any pairing that moon-woman had conjured up for her match-making.

kukutux listened to him speak. her legs moved after kigipigak but she hardly felt them.

there was much about tartok she did not understand. but at its core was the duck's understanding that it could not be the way of her village. "we took the tongue of a tupilak. i will not allow anyone to come against moonglow."

to whom did she speak now? her kin or a warrior of another bloodline.

"if he comes, will you show your teeth as tartok or moonglow, winterhawk?"

She did not understand. Kigipigak was frowning and didn't realize it. His voice was hard and cold, almost the same as Tulimaq's, as he stated lowly: It does not matter who I would choose. If he calls for reinforcement I have no choice but to go with him. It is the way of Tartok.

This was the true fear of Kigipigak.

I only hope he does not make the call. Perhaps he is gone already from this place, with the herd so thinned and the hunting poor. His hunters may still be scattered.

But it would not be that way forever.

Kigipigak could not shake the tension that came upon him when thinking of this other man. The lack of choice in the matter was a great burden now that he was aligned so strongly with Moonglow, and Kigipigak did not know what to do about it, except worry.

If he should find a worthy issumatar then... there was nothing Kigipigak could do but wait, then heed the call when it came.

she did not understand.

kigipigak spoke of betrayal. 

moonglow had been his family. she was his kin. he had eaten meat at her hearth many times. he knew her daughters. she had saved him from the blood-fever brought by the cat's claws.

the duck was stricken. she put some space between herself and the tartok-man, her greenstone eyes wishing to be hard but only fractured with hurt. "if this man comes to take moonglow, if he says 'come with me' to you, then you will help him?"

it hurt kukutux to hear kigipigak describe himself as tartok, after all these moons.

"you must choose. now." kukutux pressed down the tears of anger threatening to fall.

Her steps faded behind him.

He stopped, turned, saw the dullness of her eyes. The splintering of something between them. It was not something Kigipigak had taken in to account; that she would feel so deeply for him and see something wrong in the way of the world — his world.

No, his mother's world. Why did he cling to this so strongly?

You must choose. Now. She called to him.

The rest of Moonglow was some ways ahead, likely put-off by the conversation the two shared that they could not understand. Kigipigak had stopped because moon-woman had stopped, and now he looked at her incredulously.

What? Why would she demand this choice from him now? Now, he was a man of Moonglow. Now, he could work hard for Moonglow and protect the family he had made within the village. Now, Kigipigak could live as if Tartok was far away from him.

I do not want to war with the village. I want to protect it. You do not understand what you are asking of me, forcing me to choose. He had never made such a decision before — nothing was truly ever his own choice, from leaving Unnuakvik to joining with Greymoor, to Moonglow, to now.

Let us go home. Please. He turned, refusing to look at her, trying to calm himself for the long road ahead. He did not get far, seeing as Kukutux was alone now in the snow, surrounded by the barrow hills; he could not leave the village leader in good conscience.

"i do." 

she came closer. she could not help herself. "tulimaq is a cruel man. he took a time of peace and made it a challenge. he is unkind. he is not like you." her words were heavy.

"but you say to me that he is this man of tartok. that he is what a man must be. and that if he calls —" why did her voice break "— if he calls to you then you must go. if he asks for your strength to be his own, you must give this."

"there is not a place for two homes inside you. and you do not want to live your own life."

"what has tartok given to you that moonglow has not, kigipigak?" kukutux felt her throat raw with wonder and worry.

What she said of Tulimaq was right and there was nothing to be said about him. It seemed a task to have Kukutux understand that Tartok people were a hardier sort than the children she herself was raising, that Kigipigak was of this instinctual tradition.

She thought her words were sweet, perhaps. That being soft was a blessing of some kind to make Kigipigak stand-out beyond what Tulimaq was; to the ears of the Tartok-born, it was the opposite. If he had not known Kukutux before she had said this of him, Kigipigak might have found offense. He knew better.

What has Tartok given you that Moonglow has not?

They gave me life! He could not help but bellow, and further afield the progression halted. Kigipigak's lively voice carried well across the field.

I am the youngest of my family to be named! I carry that honor. Where my kin failed, I succeeded. My mother is Sedna, matriarch of Unnuakvik, and — and what? None of it truly mattered. Sedna was not here to judge him. Unnuakvik had been home to him as a boy, then cast him out. What honor could be held by a man without a home?

Kigipigak's voice had cracked. The force with which he pridefully hoisted the story of himself, the Tartok name, and these pieces which had been so important for so long, finally began to ease.

You gave me a home. You put me back together when I nearly died. I am thankful for all that you have given me, and all that I have done to protect Moonglow. Moonglow is my home, it had become this, and was a better fit to Kigipigak than any place before it, which was exactly why his next words nearly choked him: but you are not an issumatar.

once it would have hurt her to hear this.

"i do not need to be your issumatar to ask your respect, kigipigak. to ask that even if a man of tartok comes to see what he might take from moonglow, that you would not stand with him after all this. i do not need to be your issumatar to ask your loyalty to this village."

she swallowed. "you have a chance to be man of your own clan. to find this woman for yourself. you have the choice to be in moonglow, to be secondhunter, to have status here. will you live all your life for men who did not do anything for you? will you give your best years in waiting?"

kuktutux was tired. she had watched zane squander himself as well. moonwoman pulled from the winterhawk. but she would not return to aiolos, not now. she wished to be alone. she wished to understand.

It felt as though she did not listen to him. Kigipigak had not been a man of words until he had been forced in to it, and for a time found himself distracted by his own voice. Now, he could not say the right thing. He could not have Kukutux understand or accept the way the world was meant to be.

That she now demanded respect from him, as if he had not given it to her. As if she had not earned it long ago. Not as issumatar to his people, but as moon-woman... This was proof to Kigipigak that she could not understand. Her people relied on spirits and superstition; his upon muscle and bloodshed. There was respect to be found in both realms. He had vouched for his own loyalty to Moonglow already, and yet it was not enough.

Kukutux was no warlord; no blood-hungry matriarch. He could respect and follow her, but if summoned by a rightful matriarch of Tartok, he would have to obey. It was the way of his people for so many generations — and here was Kukutux, fighting against traditions she couldn't understand, no matter what Kigipigak said.

She had her own points to make, which Kigipigak did not want to hear. Her words would echo through his mind as the pair drifted apart; she would go her way, perhaps to pray or commune with spirits, and he would go another, his heart heavier than before.