Sun Mote Copse the fortune lady came along and walked beside,

arcturus watched the duo part, having seen them off with something akin to a shadow eclipsing his heart.

they were not gone long before the mountaineer turned, coursing @Towhee’s scent. he felt sick, betrayed even — after all of it, how could she let her daughter go?

to loonspear, of all places?

towhee! arcturus called as he saw her form, but her back was turned. if she did not catch him in time, Arcturus would do a move that would probably get him killed. he roughly prodded at her back, standing in such a way that clearly communicated with no hearing necessary, that he was absolutely miffed.. and she could probably figure out why.

Literally no more than ten minutes had passed since her confrontation with Wraen when something touched her back this time. Completely emotionally strung out at this point, Towhee whirled. She didn't bare her teeth, though a growl escaped her. Actually, it sounded a lot more like a rumbling whimper but she wasn't to know that.

Recoiling to put a few feet of space between them, Towhee just looked back at Arcturus. Her own face was wrenched with grief, face still damp and salty, nose runny, palms sweaty, mom's spaghetti, vomit on her sweater already. He looked like he was about to come at her just like Wraen, so she just stood there to take it, too emotionally spent to do anything else.

it was the first time arcturus had touched towhee since — well — since his first true encounter with her. in that split second, thousands of emotions and sensations came rushing back to the forefront.

he flinched at the speed in which she turned around, fully ready for fangs following the muted growl. instead, he found something that puzzled him — she was tear stained and raw.

that took the anger right out of his sails. arcturus slumped to the ground and looked at his feet. a hard emotion turned his expression thorny. for a while it looked like he was trying to organize his thoughts. instead, all he could manage was a soft why? before he looked up and sought her gaze. he just couldn’t understand.

Rather than fling words at her, he slumped to the ground with a single, "Why?" Towhee watched this, ruinous face blank, as she remembered Wraen's words from just moments before: "Ask Arcturus for the firsthand experience..." Maybe she should've but what good would that do, now or ever?

It dimly occurred to her, as he sat there awaiting an answer, that @Phox and @Niamh ought to be fielding these questions with her. Out of the three of them, she'd been the least on-board with the plan by a long shot. She understood why Wraen and Arcturus had come to her first though. Meerkat had always been hers, more than anyone else's.

And that thought had Towhee sinking to the ground across from Arcturus, letting out agonized noises of sheer misery that brought to mind a cat getting its tail caught in a rocking chair.

no answer save silence. Arcturus’ ear turned as he heard Towhee sink to the ground besides him. he expected any minute an explanation would come — but instead, a long and hideous wail of true grief split from her muzzle.

his stomach tensed. he felt for her in every sense of the word — meerkat had been her daughter and obviously given all the contextual clues, this had not been a mutually-agreed upon parting. selfishly, Arcturus was more concerned about Meerkat than Bronco; he had always felt that maybe, even though Towhee had said it was not true, that he might have been responsible for her existence. that he was told he was not Meerkat’s father gave him no relief. now that she was gone, he felt more than ever he had not spent nearly the time with her she deserved.

all of this rumination made him feel worse — for one dreadful moment Arcturus wanted to reach out and hug Towhee. the temptation was over in a split second, for he recognized there was a barrier (some of it put up by him) there that could not be crossed.

frowning, Arcturus shifted a twig around in his paws and waited for a break in between Towhee’s cries. can’t we just go and tell her she needs to come back?

She was too far gone to feel any embarrassment over weeping in front of him or Wraen or anybody else who likely overheard her loud caterwauling. It was hard enough to deal with Meerkat's departure on her own, yet to be pressed and pushed like this, she was approaching her breaking point. And, of course, all she wanted to do was seek out her little therapist for a hug and a smile. Towhee was pretty sure she felt every one of her organs twist as the cries wrenched from deep inside her.

Somehow, through the tears and wailing, she caught Arcturus's words. They could've set her to crying even harder (if that was even possible) but, instead, she sucked in a very wet-sounding breath, hiccuped and fell silent for a beat. She felt herself flush from head to foot but the emotion was so intense, Towhee herself couldn't even name it. She just knew she felt like she was going to literally fly apart at any moment.

-"Don—don't you thi—think I want to do that with—with every fiber of my being? But she wanted to go."- Her voice steadied a little even as it dropped to a harsh whisper. -"What choice did I have? I couldn't hold her back."- Well, she could've, but at what cost? -"She's going to do amazing things with her life. They all are..."- She thought of Figment and Fennec, Bronco too. She hitched another sob, swollen eyes slowly shutting. Towhee wished she could just be happy for and proud of them (and she was, underneath the pain).

arcturus had left the spear a long time ago, but perhaps a little bit of the spear still remained in him. he could not imagine that he would allow his daughter to go somewhere so — so — dangerous. meerkat may well not be his daughter, but he felt protective of her anyway to the point where he was wrongfully hurt he had found out from meerkat that she was leaving.

he bit his lip as towhee collected herself and sucked in a breath. he got the sense from her response that he was being unkind and unfair; but still, he felt a little discomfort was worth ensuring meerkat’s safety in the long run. he of all people knew how the spear dealt with disappointment.

he waited until towhee had finished, and then he waited some more. he waited for his stormy thoughts to clear and for his emotions to calm. towhee, it is not safe there. he said at last, feeling he was upending the apple cart by being so direct. and she cannot do great things if she gets attacked or killed. like revui had. like korei julia too, but arcturus had no way to know his sister’s skeleton lay disintegrated at the bottom of a cliff by hydra’s will. anywhere — anywhere else would be okay. i wouldn’t like it.. but it would be better than.. well, than that.

Slowly, her aching eyes reopened to catch his words. Like Wraen, he seemed particularly disturbed by Meerkat's choice of destination. Towhee simply didn't believe Hydra could ever harm Meerkat. It would take a special kind of monster to do that and she did not believe her sister-in-arms to be a monster. She had done monstrous things, so had Towhee. No matter how much Arcturus and Wraen railed against her, Towhee simply (perhaps fortunately, considering her lack of choice in the matter) didn't feel the same. Actually, she was glad it was Moonspear and not some foreign place she didn't know at all.

She knew better than to say that. -"Nowhere is safe that isn't with me,"- came her only acknowledgement of Arcturus's pleading, head falling toward her chest in utter defeat. -"But she's growing up,"- she continued quietly, looking down at the ground, -"and she's with Bronco. If I could tie her to me forever, believe me, I would. I would tie all of them to me and never let them leave my sight. I would happily spend my days protecting them from the world. But that's not fair... or realistic."- And she was still coming to terms with that herself, not only with Meerkat but the others.

Time drifted by like a lazy fog, and Niamh felt that there was very little that made one day stand apart from the next. She'd been more or less impassive when she'd been greeted by Meerkat and Bronco, wanting to know how she felt about them going to Moonspear. It wasn't her decision, with regards to Meerkat- but she gave Bronco her blessing so long as both Phox and Towhee also agreed to let them go. And as far as she knew, Towhee had come to agree with their decision as she heard their farewell howl on the eve of their departure. She had mixed feelings about the entire thing- but still felt the numbness in her soul becoming more resounding than anything else. 

Children left. At least this time, they said goodbye. 

And so she struggled to reckon with Towhee's grief- which she could hear from nearly a mile away. She tried to remind herself about how she'd felt when Nellie disappeared, and then again when her daughter'd left earlier on in the year. Now Bronco was gone, but she hadn't seen much of them since their fight anyway so things felt hardly different. She'd miss Meerkat, though...But that was about as upset as Niamh felt about it. Everything else just felt...Bleak, but normal. 

Still- she couldn't just ignore her best friend and her ugly, audible sobs and nearly incomprensible bawling language as she neared where Towhee and Arcturus were. She snuck through the undergrowth, wanting to get a peak at the teo of them first, before approaching- just in case this was a tender moment that they'd prefer to share as just the two of them. But Niamh had very little tact so as soon as she saw that they weren't entangled in a sobbing embrace, she pushed her way through the bushes toward them. She doubted Towhee'd see her approach through the crocodile tears she was crying, and for the first time in quite some time, she felt a pang of guilt and sadness. Towhee was really upset. Not that it made much sense to Niamh to be so sad, given the fact that she felt Meerkat and Bronco would be safe with their friends on Moonspear- but Niamh knew nothing of the complications that existed between the two packs that could potentially make things tough for the youths. 

Arcturus looked worried, and she cast him a brief look. Part of Niamh wondered if he was trying to step up because he thought he might be Meerkat's father- and as far as Niamh was concerned, that wasn't so. Phox was. But that didn't mean that he couldn't be supportive of their mutual friend who looked like she needed as much support as she could possibly get. -Heyyyy- She greeted Towhee, approaching with a bit of caution, lowering her head in appeasement- fully aware that there was a chance Towhee might think she was responsible for Meerkat's departure.

arcturus did not need to be a mind reader to recognize there was a wall in the way of truth between them. that towhee has never seen that side of the spear, simply reaffirmed her suspicions — and nothing arcturus did or said could ever prove otherwise.

he unfurled a long and sorrowed sigh. that was the folly of perceptions, he found — for it often deeply insulted a person’s faith in the honesty of their own perceptions when their opinions were accosted by reality.

he is not free from danger either. arcturus countered, feeling his claws tighten in the dirt. my brother was nearly killed on that mountain, and there is no stronger wolf alive than him. towhee. we cannot control those in our lives — but we can try to help guide them to safer destinations.

he knew he could not keep poking at her — not when the welt of tears still darkened her face. she would resent him soon if she did not already.

arcturus rose just in time for niamh to arrive. for the first time since he had met the gilded warrior, arcturus was *not* at a loss for words. in fact, he had a lot to say on the subject, and felt niamh partially responsible too.

lacking tact, Arcturus continued. realistic is recognizing every wolf has two sides. the one they want you to see, and the one they will hide from you at all costs. if meerkat is lucky she will never see the bad side of those that live on the spear...

but if she is unlucky, she may never come home.

you are her mother. you are allowed to say no. she is only five months old! she doesn’t need to explore the world. not yet.

arcturus was wading dangerously close to telling another wolf how to parent, but at this point it was too late.  he felt his ability to be tactful and kind ebbing by the second.

it seemed he was on the cusp of saying something else, but thought against it. now that niamh was here, he felt even less inclined to admit his feelings about meerkat were also partially derived from his faint guilt he might be her father.

ugh. arcturus had nothing else to say — and so with his ears pinned and deep unhappiness in his expression, he turned around to leave unless either had anything to say to him.

Towhee didn't catch a single word of Arcturus's parting speech and didn't even realize he'd gone until her sore eyes slowly lifted and she found herself looking at Niamh rather than the Tradesman. She blinked, head rearing backward in mild shock, then swept their surroundings with her watery gaze. Arcturus was nowhere in sight. Towhee's feelings were already so mixed up that she didn't know how to feel about what felt like an abrupt, unannounced departure.

Her attention swung back to Niamh. She did feel a little resentment toward her and Phox, despite herself, but Towhee didn't want to let it manifest. She was pretty sure that, more than anything, she was jealous of their ability to keep a cool head about these matters. She drew in a deep breath, then pushed herself into a seated position before gently reaching out to brush her muzzle against Niamh's.

-"Wraen and Arcturus both came at me hot,"- she reported feebly, not really sure what else to say.

Having interrupted their conversation, Niamh had no clue what Arcturus was trying to go on about- with reference to wolves having two sides. Unless he was trying to say something about her, which she doubted (as he hadn't used any profanity), she didn't much care. He gave her a look she interpreted as disgust, which made her freeze up, tail lifting slightly as though to warn him to keep his tongue beting the fangs he obviously had clenched together. He left with a snort, and Niamh bared her teeth at his disappearing shadow, a low growl throttling in her throat. There was something about that guy...

He'd obviously done nothing to comfort Towhee, who looked just as miserable as ever. When she mentioned both Wraen and Arcturus, Niamh's lips twitched and her eyes narrowed. While she'd always thought very little of Arcturus- who had done absolutely nothing to earn her ire- she did have respect for Wraen, though...She had to admit it- her loyalty to Towhee was much, much stronger. So when she heard that Wraen was siding with Arcturus, and both of them had upset her Person, she growled. But she knew getting angry wouldn't help Towhee, who had reached out to touch her cheek. She gave the top of Towhee's muzzle a kiss, and propped herself up beside her friend, so they could sit flank to flank, and still communicate. 

-You're Sovereign now- She said, deadpan honey eyes gazing through Towhee's. -Wraen's abdicated the throne. Retire her to be a "Dame," and demote Arcturus to court jester so I can throw stuff at him.- She said, simply.

Towhee appreciated Niamh's sentiment immensely in this moment, even if she couldn't help but refute, -"I'm only Sovereign because Wraen's too frail right now,"- with a thoughtful frown as she remembered the signs of her ailment during their heated discussion. -"She said she wouldn't question my judgment, then she went ahead and questioned my judgment,"- she added, frown deepening.

Afraid that talking directly about their children's absconding would reduce her to a useless puddle of snot and tears again, Towhee turned her muzzle toward Niamh and said, -"They're both hellbent on turning me against Hydra and Moonspear,"- She wondered what her sister-in-law would make of this information. Towhee didn't have the mental bandwidth to even hazard a guess.

But before Niamh could get a word in edgewise, she said, -"I've known Hydra longer than either of them, since before Arcturus was a tickle in his daddy's sack. We go way back. And we've both been through some crazy shit. I know she's a beast. But she's done nothing to convince me she would be anything other than a tough but fair matriarch for our kids. I'm not doubting that Wraen and Arcturus have had their beefs with her, yet Hydra and I have never let that muddy the waters between us. It has no bearing on Meerkat and Bronco."-

Was that an idiotic belief? She looked into her friend's face, hoping for some honest feedback. Part of her wanted to ask Niamh if they should go after their kids. After all, Towhee would've been all over any valid excuse to bring them back to her. But, despite her pack mates' takes, she truly didn't believe Moonspear was a bad place for them to go. It was different, certainly, but... well, Towhee supposed she was biased and tried to quiet her thoughts as she gave Niamh a chance to speak.

Niamh's expression didn't give any indication that she ight've been joking about Towhee using her position to take over for Wraen, though that was perhaps a discussion for later. Presently, she seemed more preoccupied with the fact that both Wraen and Arcturus had issues with Moonspear, which made Niamh wrinkle her nose again. In her experience, Hydra had always been on their side. She'd practically saved Tegan's life, and had been one of the first wolves Towhee felt needed to know about Screech's death sentence. These were horrible, personal experiences- and Hydra had been on their side through all of it. 

-I dunno what their issues are with Moonspear,- She said, her expression portraying her judgemental bewilderment, -But I think they're wrong to think that their experiences should influence ours about letting our kids go there, considering the fact that yeah, you've known Hydra for like forever, and I dunno, I've always thought she was pretty cool,- She said, with a shrug. She and Hydra had never really had a one-on-one conversation, but every time they met, she felt that she, Towhee and Hydra had always been on the same page. Kindred spirits, of sorts. Wraen and Arcturus, however...Were not cut from the same cloth. 

-Why the fuck would they wanna stir up shit with another pack anyway?- She snorted. -They can't go on all preachy about being this super-peaceful pack if they wanna start banning us an' our kids from interacting with wolves we've known for years.- She said. She licked her lips. It was so easy to get fired up about the whole thing, and she saw no reason not to continue down her warpath. -I still think you're boss. What you say, while you're boss, goes. An' you know I'd always rather follow you, anyway,- She said, with a shrug.

Niamh's blunt take took her a little by surprise, though Towhee was in no mindset or mood to do anything but appreciate the reassurances. She recalled the small handful of times when she, Niamh and Hydra had come together for one (usually terrible) reason or another. Until this moment, she hadn't really known what Niamh though of Hydra, though it was particularly ingratiating to hear someone say something good about her lifelong friend.

Nudging her shoulder into Niamh's, Towhee said, -"I plan to visit Moonspear soon, you should come with me so we can chat with Hydra and say 'hi' to the kids."- She didn't want to prove Wraen and Arcturus wrong for her own sake, yet all the same... -"Did you know I've known her since I was, like, six months old? No, I was even younger than that, I think."- She couldn't quite remember but point being: it was a hell of a long time, especially in dog wolf years. -"She's my sister from another mister, kinda like you,"- she concluded, giving her friend another soft jab.

Niamh's confidence in their decision to allow the kids to leave seemed to cheer Towhee up, and allow her to see that their departure was not the end of the world. They'd be fine- and while Niamh thought Bronco was soft, she also knew that he would lay down his life for Meerkat in an instant, and that she would be safe as long as the two were together. She wasn't sure how she felt about going to see Bronco so soon, but she wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to visit as she knew it might prompt some more questioning about why she'd let Bronco go. Niamh had no idea if Bronco had told anyone about their fight- but given the fact it hadn't come around to her, she suspected he'd kept his trap shut. She wasn't going to bring it up anytime soon, either. 

So she nodded, and smiled faintly. "-Sure. Give 'em some time to settle in an' get some mountain air in them, but whenever you wanna go, I'll go with you.-" She said. While she feared Bronco might not be willing to meet her, or find some excuse to be too busy to greet them, she knew Meerkat had better manners, and that at least she would enjoy the visit. 

The longevity of Towhee's friendship with Hydra made Niamh feel a little bit jealous. She didn't like being compared to other wolves, and preferred to think that they were more or less exclusive to one another- with Phox fitting in somewhere, of course. But if she had to accept the fact that there was another wolf in Towhee's life that she considered to be as close as her, at least she'd chosen one as badass and respectable as Hydra. Niamh would have felt more threatened, definitely had Hydra been a part of their pack as well. But having her at a distance meant that by proxy, she had more person time with her person than her person's other person did and she could deal with that. 

"-I didn't know that,-" she said, nipping playfully at Towhee's ear in response to the jab her ribs had received. Her tone might have portrayed some of her jealousy- but fortunately, she kept the sentiment from her facial expressions, so it would go unnoticed. "-Crazy to think it's been that much time though. Jeez, how long you an' I been trollin' around together?-" She asked.

She bit her lip at Niamh's offhanded, "I didn't know that." It was almost as if Hydra was her best kept secret and now that it was out of the bag, it was blowing up in everyone's faces. But Towhee didn't think she'd ever tried to hide their friendship from anyone. She supposed she did keep it pretty close to the vest, especially since they had never shared a home. She lapsed into thoughtful silence for a few beats as she pondered this.

But she didn't leave her friend's question hanging long. -"I can't even remember life before Niamh,"- she said, complete with a small but cheesy smile. -"The two of us have been through more together than probably any other furson in my life, including Phox,"- she thought aloud, smile fading into an introspective look. That had included a couple rows and even a separation or two, yet they'd always found their way back to each other, hadn't they?

-"Hydra might be my longest friendship but you're definitely my tightest,"- she continued after a moment. -"Seeing as I don't give a rat's ass about romance, you're pretty much my life partner, my hetero life partner,"- Towhee quipped because no homo. -"You're strapped to not one but two Redhawks. That's seriously unfortunate."- She laughed wryly and only briefly. Her face ached and her throat was sore.

Like a pet bird who knows the meaning of being complimented, Niamh puffed up slightly, flattered by the fact that Towhee seemed to refuse to even acknowledge what her own life had been like before they'd met. She snorted and rolled her eyes, though, as she recalled the entire debacle. "-'Magine-" She said, "-We've come a long way since that day we met. 'Member when you threatened to kill me if I didn't vacate the Plateay toot-sweet?-" She laughed. It was strange to think about it, but there was truth to the fact that Niamh and Towhee had shared a lot of big experiences, which hadn't involved Phox; but at the same time...He was a big part of their family as well, obviously. And no matter the fights, the exiles, the arguments and tiffs, the three of them seemed capable of pulling their collective shit together, and forgiving past discrepancies. 

She was pleased to hear, as well, that Towhee considered her to be her sclosest friend. "-N'awwww-" groaned Niamh, turning so that she could sit up on her hind end, fling her long forelegs about Towhee's shoulders (albeit somewhat awkwardly, given how hard it was to balance that way) and give her a squeeze. She buried her muzzle into the thick fluff at the base of Towhee's ear, and then blew a wet raspberry into it. They couldn't be too mushy-gushy, after all. She untangled her spider-limbs from around Towhee's shoulders and settled back down again after a moment of thought. 

"-That's kind of what we are, at the end of the day, Innit?-" She asked. "-Sure we're Firebirds but...I think we'll always still kinda be mostly Redhawk.-"

She did remember, though so much had happened since, it was a vague memory at best. She smiled nonetheless, as she tried to recall their meet-cute, though it quickly turned into a playful grimace when Niamh wrapped around her like a spider monkey. She made some halfhearted noises of protest while secretly relishing the affectionate display. And when her sister-in-law retreated a moment later, she chased her with a fond nip to the golden fluff framing Niamh's face.

-"Damn straight and a-fucking-men,"- she agreed with a huff of laughter. It shook her body in such a way that Towhee became hyper-aware of her own exhaustion. Niamh was definitely helping but Towhee still felt like dog shit. What a day... and it was only mid-morning.

-"I need to go lay down,"- she said wearily, nudging against the other she-wolf and hinting, -"I could use a pillow."- And maybe if Niamh stayed with her, she wouldn't be stuck alone with her thoughts, dwelling on Meerkat's departure, then her comrades' onslaughts...

Niamh felt validated, knowing that yet again, she and Towhee were on the same page. It hadn't come easy for Niamh to leave the Redhawks to begin with- knowing that it meant choosing a life away from Towhee...And even when Towhee had come to live with them, following the landslide, the copse had become a bit more like home- but some part of her still pined for the days when they lived on the Plateau, chasing partridges through the thicket, and being only a short jaunt away from the place where the land melted into the sea. Still; being a Redhawk wasn't only about location, but sentiment, and she felt that regardless of where they lived, they would still have that. 

When Towhee mentioned having a nap, it flipped a switch in Niamh's mind. While her default was generally moody, she was almost always either hungry or tired, or both- so when a nap was suggested, she was quick to comply. She slumped against Towhee, and muttering something incomprehensible but nevertheless an agreement, she slid to the ground, and used Towhee's forelegs as her own headrest, so that Towhee could use the thick, blonde fluff of her neck as a pillow.