Northstar Vale Incredible thoughts, incredible minds

He had heard Germanicus's call go up but hadn't bothered to show. The man had lost every iota of respect Killdeer once had for him, and his family came first.

He traveled over the short, ridge-lined route to Epoch with @Fennec at his side. He felt. . .strange. Lighter, in a way, but also more bogged down than he ever been before. And distracted. He stumbled over pebbles occasionally, or was startled by a passing bird.

As if he were more blind than his mother. No film over his eyes, though—just the mixed emotions of leaving a place that had made him a man.

We're here, he announced, though he didn't need to—Fennec could smell the borders better than he could. He gave her a smile she wouldn't see and a nudge she would feel, moving close to her slight, tawny frame.

Killdeer stayed close as he lifted his muzzle and howled for @Phox and @Maxim, adding that they also requested Towhee's presence (you know, his human was finally remembering that Gramma was, in fact, unable to hear border calls).

The pair stood quiet but stalwart, waiting for their family to come greet them.

please let @Fennec post first!

She’d found Killdeer after a while and together they departed Mereo. She was glad that she’d at least spoken with him beforehand; it was one less thing to have to worry about, whether or not he would want to go.

She ignored Germanicus’ call completely. He’d known better than to include her in it, and whatever he said, she didn’t want to know.

Fennec felt strangely detached as she followed Killdeer out and towards Epoch. It was like she’d run this road before; and she had, almost exactly one year ago. A month ago she’d been optimistically looking forward. Now springtime was reinforced as a time for heartache and loss.

She wondered if Towhee would be disappointed.

Fennec shifted closer to Killdeer as they waited, standing so her shoulder rested against his flank. This time she would have him and it already made a world of difference. There was no need for space this time; just a numb acceptance for the things they’d both lost.

kicks down door for redhawk fam

with the swelling of towhee's sides, he became twice as diligent in his patrols between tracking. it was good to hear the voice of killdeer. a thing he'd hold close, not knowing what awaited him at the borders.

and truthfully, he was happier to greet them first and bring them to towhee next. anything to keep his wife from adding strain to her pregnancy.

a small smile touched his features, only settled there due to their presence.

it is good to see you two. have you come for a visit?

his tail wiggled behind him, something killdeer would see and something fennec might hear in his voice.

Admittedly, he was hoping Towhee would be, well, in tow. To see just Maxim gave him some pause, though he mustered a smile. At least the man looked fairly content, though he must still be grieving Leona.

Hey, Maxim, he replied, wagging his tail in turn. Ah. . .sort of. We have some news. For you and Towhee and Phox. And Jack, too, I guess.

The other Epoch wolves would discover Mereo's dissolution soon enough. Killdeer really didn't care all that much about anyone living here other than the Redhawks.

And he fervently hoped the Redhawks wouldn't remain here much longer, either.

Her dad already had an inkling of what was to come, though he likely hadn’t known the pack would disband entirely. Maybe someone would keep it alive; yet without Germanicus it probably wouldn’t last long.

She couldn’t quite summon up a smile for Maxim. She let Killer do the talking and waited to either be joined by or taken to the rest. She didn’t want to share this news more times than they needed to. Once would be more than enough.

She knew that Killdeer had hopes on others joining them, but she’d kept her own doubts in check. Uprooting a family to follow their failure of a daughter was a pretty dicey choice to make, even if it meant getting their grandson in the bargain.

Guess what, yous guys, this is my 700th thread…

Towhee had intended to pull out each and every quill from the porcupine’s corpse. But after managing to extract a dozen or so, she grew sick and tired of poking herself and trashed the whole project. She gorged on the meat, then buried the remains and took a gigantic, smelly shit on the grave. Karma was a bitch and so was Towhee Redhawk.

She carefully cleaned the thirteen collected barbs and stored them on a natural shelf in the stone wall at the back of the roost. Towhee would find some use for them. In the meantime, they should be out of reach of any bumbling puppies, who would make their appearance any day now.

After that was done, she considered a nap, but Towhee felt strangely energetic. Perhaps it was the post-poop zoomies. She waddled out of the den and thought about walking her usual circuit around the spring to Wraen’s Nest. She hadn’t visited Leo yet today. But for some reason or another, Towhee decided to save that for later and instead began tracking Maxim’s scent.

It led her toward the borders, which wasn’t surprising. Before she reached them, Towhee had to pause and pant for a couple minutes. The pups had been kicking mightily ever since her dump and one had just pretty much knocked the wind out of her. Fuck, she hated that sensation. She stood there and grimaced, waiting for it to pass.

Phox prodded @Towhee on the shoulder. -Killdeer's here. I'm gonna go see what's up.- Whether or not she followed was up to her, but Phox made the walk easily enough. Maxim had already arrived, and Phox shot him a warm smile before setting eyes on a downtrodden Fennec. He knew what this meant. Germanicus had called it (or Fennec had). Phox frowned.

Hey Fenn, he greeted, a gentle touch of his nose to her shoulder. Hey Killer. To the youngest, he offered a wave of his paw once he'd gotten seated.

maxim had become weary of news. finding it was always a coin toss between terrible and splendid. which perhaps could be said for anything in life. only he was not sure he felt like such a risk taker!

but soon enough it seemed that all those wanted would be there. well, not @Jack Snipe yet, but maybe he would be around. perhaps he should go get the boy? or just...call him. he grew too used to fetching with towhee!

a small warm smile to phox.

i can go get towhee and call over jack? that way we're all...here!

unaware that at least one of them was closer than he thought.

Before Maxim responded, Phox approached on his three legs. He smiled back at his grandfather and then turned his attention to Maxim, who was speaking again. He cut in slightly quickly to meet the hesitation—

I guess he doesn't have to be here now, Killdeer replied. We can tell him a bit later. It's pretty important.

He gave Fennec another gentle nudge, glancing sidelong her way. Do you want to tell them? he murmured softly. He would gladly do it for her, but given so much of it had involved Germanicus's rejection of their mateship and his subsequent interests elsewhere, he didn't think it was appropriate for him to butt in.

It was her story to tell.

Fennec was getting impatient despite her silence. She acknowledged Phox, but her ears tipped sideways when Maxim asked about Towhee. Fucking duh. Fortunately she kept it bottled, but the expression on her face likely said something of how she felt.

He could have already taken them to her. Even if this was a fucking social call, what was his hold up? It wasn’t a kind thought but her biggest hope was to get this over with as fast as possible. Every moment she spent waiting was another moment she had to sit and think about it.

I’ll tell, once she’s here. Can we go to her? Fennec asked outright, her displeasure passing Phox and landing squarely on Maxim to endure. The joys of being somewhat extended family.

While she slouched there, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Towhee didn’t react except to swing her head and leer at whoever decided to poke her in her current state. She stared incredulously as Phox brushed past, evidently headed to the borders to respond to a call from their grandson.

What am I, chopped liver? she muttered under her breath as soon as her lungs fully recovered.

Towhee straightened and shadowed her brother’s steps to the nearby borderline. When she arrived, she saw quite the group gathered. Shit, this can’t be good. Her heart started to pound as her orange eyes flicked from face to face, landing on Fennec’s in time to catch her words.

I’m here, she said too loudly. What’s going on?

Skipping Phox with permission and the other two bc it makes sense <3. I can adjust or remove if need be!!

I’d be fine to move this into rounds if y’all are okay with that? Giving a little time for everyone to respond between. But this isn’t hugely pressing, so either way - just want to give y’all something to reply to

Before things could get too tense, or anyone could even respond, Towhee was there. She waited while any acknowledgements died down, then went in without intro. She could hear from the tone that Towhee knew it wasn’t good news - she didn’t think her mom would mind the lack of hello.

Germanicus is leaving. I don’t know what that means for Mereo, but Killer and I aren’t sticking around to find out. Probably better to head off the questions too. He's going to be with someone else. He loves them, and I’m not interested in holding him to promises he clearly didn’t mean. I doubt Mereo will stick around long, once he’s gone. That affected them too. They’d settled here knowing they’d have neighbors, but the canyon might be empty soon if not enough wolves stuck around to claim it.

She delivered all of this in a flat, controlled tone. Their reactions would be bad enough; she was tired of being angry. She was tired of being upset. She was tired in general.

Killer wanted to ask something. Before we decide what we do next. She settled a little closer to him, quietly lending her support and taking his as well. They could respond however they wanted, but she wanted him to be the one to talk about their plans.

im all good to do just rounds! :)

what? how — when — where — why?

his mind stopped and stuttered a million times. mereo was not his home anymore and it had not been for some time but — it had once been. he had lived there, built a life, brought children into the world. all beneath the imperator.

now he was gone.

and he had left behind family in his wake.

something about it soured his stomach like curdling milk. it did not feel like the man he had come to know. perhaps he only thought he knew the man?

he had no words for this sudden rolling wave like an avalanche. come from the canyon to their doorstep. only the look upon his face, the unfortunately fennec would miss, for others to read.

butting in here just to word vomit!

He watched each wolf's reaction as Fennec explained the situation, trying to gauge how they felt about it. Maxim, for one, looked floored. He supposed that was fair—he'd been a soldier with Mereo before he was tied to the Redhawks. He probably had a lot of loyalty to Germanicus, and these packs in the mountains.

Would he still?

Killdeer returned his mom's gentle touch and cleared his throat, feeling a little like he wanted to vomit. Here goes nothing.

We're going to find a new place to stay, he carried on, gaze shifting among the three other wolves gathered. A place to live—where our family can be happy, and thrive. And I—we, he added, though a little less certain, as he glanced at Fennec, want you all and Jack to come with.

He swallowed the lump of bile in his throat. He was petrified they'd say no.

I want the Redhawks to be together, he said, softer than before.

For a split second, Towhee thought Fennec would announce her own departure alongside Germanicus. Before she could speculate about where they were going or why, she dropped the real bomb. Towhee’s ears slowly tilted backward, expression going rigid as she processed this news.

She immediately assumed Fennec must be talking about Ruenna. Her own heart twinged as she thought of her dear friend, though it stopped short of feeling empathy for Germanicus. Why hadn’t he gone with Rue in the first place then? Why would he stay back and live a lie with Fennec?

Her jaw tightened. There was so much she wanted to say, though she didn’t know where to start. It didn’t matter, though, as it wasn’t her turn. Apparently Killdeer had something he wanted to say. Towhee would keep her trap shut and pay close attention to what her grandson had to say, of course.

When he finished, Towhee blurted, Why wouldn’t you two come live here?

Aside from the recent tragedy, the Redhawks here were happy, thriving and together, just as he’d described. She and Maxim were leaders now, indelibly woven into the tightly-knit fabric of Epoch. Besides, she loved the vale—had preferred it over the canyon since day one—and, well, Towhee was about to pop out a litter of puppies any day now.

She didn’t say any of that, though Towhee tacked on, Please stay here, at least for now? We can always discuss this—I’d love to hear what you guys have in mind—but… She trailed off and gestured down at her enormous belly.

I know Autumn mentioned we can skip Phox but if it’s not my turn, please just slap the shit out of me.

with rounds you are fine!! Just waiting for everyone to reply before I add another

Towhee’s response was about what she had expected. This was another reason she’d felt more comfortable leaving the decision up to Killdeer. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Epoch.

She wanted to stay. She wanted her mom and dad there. But just like last year, the thought of being a big sister again, and of being surrounded by happiness that for some reason continually spurned her, made her throat tighten.

She couldn’t keep walking through doors that were opened by others. The more she clung to the few wolves she had left, the more likely she was to be left with nothing.

Epoch is someone else’s home. Fennec replied, sitting down while she spoke. She knew that arguing wasn’t likely to do any good, but she could at least explain where she stood. As best as she could understand it herself. You found a place here. But if Killdeer wants to build something, I want to help him. There’s no real difference for him, between here and Mereo. We would answer to someone else. The leadership was set.

She didn’t really speak to her own opportunities. She didn’t know where she stood there either. They’d probably be better off without her here - it was starting to feel as if she destroyed every pack she made a home in.

Oh, this was the hardest decision he'd ever faced.

He heard out Towhee with his teeth gritted, then welcomed Fennec's insight—that matched every single word he could have said.

She was so smart, his mother. He wished he could just make her do—

No. He had  to make his own path.

Epoch was connected to Mereo, he said. We want our own thing—Ma and I. And we want the Redhawks. . . We want something of our own. Not Mereo.

Killdeer stared at Towhee, face plaintive. Please join us, Gramma, he said, expression guileless.

It was their last shot.

It occurred to her that she should move closer to Fennec so her eldest daughter could feel her swollen flanks and might understand why this was an impossible ask. For the moment, she remained where she stood, in order to follow first Fen’s reply, then Killer’s.

She could understand their argument about wishing to build their own thing, even if their unwillingness to stick around a little bit and discuss it more disappointed her. The timing just… sucked. Towhee supposed she could support this endeavor, even if she couldn’t join it.

I get it, she said, and I support you guys. But it’s impossible for me to be part of this right now.

She moved to press against Fennec now so she could feel Towhee’s primary reasons for refusing, if not the only one. She glanced over at Maxim and Phox, wondering if her brother might entertain the invitation. She selfishly hoped he wouldn’t. The same went for Towhee’s son. She doubted Jack would want to leave Leo behind, though they could certainly ask him.

If Phox or Jack wants to join you, that’s their decision. But you, she added, leering wryly at Maxim, you’re stuck here with me.

ah...he did not know what to make of all of this. towhee being asked to go with and knowing any other redhawk might follow too. even if towhee could not at the moment.

but nor did she whisk away the idea entirely. only stated right now — and she need not tell him he was bound to her. it simply was.

he smiled softly, near sheepish at towhee. a little nod. silent still. unwilling to misspeak in such a serious place.

perhaps it was cowardly, perhaps it was smart.

Phox grimaced as Fennec spoke. He had known it was coming from their last conversation, but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. And Killer had a question of them, something that Phox also had an inkling about. After all, it had sounded as though his grandson wanted to lead, and what better time than this? Towhee seemed adamant on staying here, and she wanted Fennec and Killdeer to come live here. Phox thought about that, but then, there wasn't much room for Killer as a leader here, especially now that Towhee and Maxim were leading alongside Arsenio and Tamar.

As for Phox... it was a harder call to make. He didn't have any prospects here, as Meadow and Reyson—despite their fallout—seemed to be trying to make things work. But he had vowed (to himself) that he would be involved with Towhee's kids this year. He'd missed the last two years, and missing another felt selfish if it was only for the chance of maybe finding someone to settle down with. That could always wait.

-Somewhere close?- Phox asked, casting Towhee a sideways glance.

likely my last!! Gonna fade out on most group threads since I’m feeling a tidge whelmed

Likewise, Fennec had guessed what was coming here. She hoped Killdeer understood - she did. She couldn’t blame her mom. Towhee had everything here that Fennec wanted and that was a big part of why staying felt impossible. She could have handled it if it was just them. But surrounded by it, Tamar and Arsenio, Reyson and Meadow, and feeling nothing but their pity was unbearable to think about. Not with her heart torn out and crushed a second time, just in time for the rest of them to be celebrating.

It felt wrong, thinking Towhee was lucky despite what had happened to Leona. Still, at least whatever fates cursed her had deigned to give her another chance. Over and over again.

Fennec shifted slightly to move closer to Killer. I’m not sure yet. She didn’t have an answer for her dad when she didn’t even know where they would settle. They’d talked about exploring the options.

We’ll be sure to tell you. Her voice was a little toneless, but the promise was sincere. She wouldn’t let herself hope that Phox would come; his family was here. And hers?

Hers was elsewhere, left behind. She suddenly felt like crying, but instead she fell quiet, waiting until Killdeer was ready to make his departure.

Killdeer felt like crying, too. He visibly wilted, his shoulders beginning to sag. But one thing Germanicus had given him was a backbone and a brave face, and he mustered both now, despite his heart crying out to beg Fennec for them to stay here.

Their place was elsewhere. It had to be, for his mother's sake—and honestly, for his, too. He couldn't be attached to Grandma forever.

He gave a brusque nod in response.

Somewhere close?

Fennec answered Phox, and he glanced to her before giving another affirmative shake of his head, still silent. He wasn't coming. Killer knew it in his heart.

Okay, he said, after a moment's silence. We should get going, then. Gotta go tell my dad that Mereo imploded, he added, his humor coming across more bitter than bubbly as he choked back his emotions.

Her lips pressed into a thin line when Phox asked his question. His brown eyes found hers and Towhee’s jaw clenched. Despite what she’d said, she’d be more than a little dismayed if Phox decided to go with them.

In any case, they didn’t know yet where they were headed. Fennec promised to keep them posted, then Killdeer followed that up with a mention of delivering this same news to Bronco.

She wished they would stay a bit longer. Towhee had so many thoughts, it was hard to pin down any of them. But she knew that, given some time to process, she would have more to say on this matter. She wasn’t going to be given that opportunity and she would not insist they stay when it was clear that wasn’t an option for either of them.

You’re always welcome here, Towhee said as they made to leave. I know you won’t be strangers, she added optimistically, hoping they wouldn’t be out of reach about a week from now, when her pups came.